f**ked up 2mnths after break-up

[MrGold]

I was with her for 2years, and only recently (2months ago) broke up with her. She was off to uni and i was staying at home. The initial reason for the break-up was because of the distance, she was going somewhere 300miles away, and i'd barely even see her. I'd been on holiday during the summer for a month which had created quite alot of distance between us in the relationship. By this point during the holiday, I was beginning to get the vibe that this wasnt gonna work out when she left for uni. I began to take DJism quite seriously, and began to make changes to myself and by behaviour. I became more alpha, I began to do more stuff on my own, got more involved with my own life, in a way i excluded her which was kinda ****ty on my part. So, by this point shes thinkin, 'wtf happened to my old afc bf that i loved so much?', 'Why is he being so closed with me?', 'Why has he changed?' Of course i had no answers to the questions she was asking. I was happy with myself, but she didnt know how to react to the changes. I barely used to see her, and speak 2 her as I had little time to spare. So the only logical thing to do was to end things. So I did. The past two months have been pretty easy to be honest, I took them better than expected. I kinda learned to erase her from my emotional thoughts, so i would try to not have feelings about her. We used to speak occasionally, small talk, nothing more. It was hard to make such a clean break when we still know we love each other... Now heres what pissed me off. The other day she facebook msged me telling me 'shes so upset with me' and 'shes really fukd up over everything', 'wtf happened to you and why did u change all of a sudden? I miss the person i used to turn to when i was in ****, I miss talking to you. I dont know if i should hate you, or leave things? If you have anything to say just tell me.' (Condensed version of the msg) So i msged her back offering a phone call, and i called her yday. Phone call was pretty pointless as she didnt really respond to anything decently, usually replying with sarcastic laughs and what not, i was tryna take it seriously. So i cut it short after a while telling her that the conversation was going nowhere and there wasnt really anything more to talk about, the Bye's were said quickly and i hung up. Soon after the call I was feeling pretty sh!tty.. didnt know what to do? I was asking if i should have told her I still loved her? Is there any chance of us two getting back together, or should I forget it and move on? Are relationships ever the same after such a breakup? I know there isnt such thing as a good breakup, its an illusion. Did i throw away something special? After two month of forgetting about her, why the fuk did she have to randomly msg me that? Wtf is going thro her brain rite now? Is the 'one' still out there waiting for me, or did i just let her go? Wtf do i do?

 

[KontrollerX]

For everyone's reading benefit we have paragraphs!

I was with her for 2years, and only recently (2months ago) broke up with her. She was off to uni and i was staying at home. The initial reason for the break-up was because of the distance, she was going somewhere 300miles away, and i'd barely even see her. I'd been on holiday during the summer for a month which had created quite alot of distance between us in the relationship. By this point during the holiday, I was beginning to get the vibe that this wasnt gonna work out when she left for uni. I began to take DJism quite seriously, and began to make changes to myself and by behaviour.

I became more alpha, I began to do more stuff on my own, got more involved with my own life, in a way i excluded her which was kinda ****ty on my part. So, by this point shes thinkin, 'wtf happened to my old afc bf that i loved so much?', 'Why is he being so closed with me?', 'Why has he changed?' Of course i had no answers to the questions she was asking. I was happy with myself, but she didnt know how to react to the changes. I barely used to see her, and speak 2 her as I had little time to spare. So the only logical thing to do was to end things. So I did. The past two months have been pretty easy to be honest, I took them better than expected. I kinda learned to erase her from my emotional thoughts, so i would try to not have feelings about her.

We used to speak occasionally, small talk, nothing more. It was hard to make such a clean break when we still know we love each other... Now heres what pissed me off. The other day she facebook msged me telling me 'shes so upset with me' and 'shes really fukd up over everything', 'wtf happened to you and why did u change all of a sudden? I miss the person i used to turn to when i was in ****, I miss talking to you. I dont know if i should hate you, or leave things? If you have anything to say just tell me.' (Condensed version of the msg) So i msged her back offering a phone call, and i called her yday. Phone call was pretty pointless as she didnt really respond to anything decently, usually replying with sarcastic laughs and what not, i was tryna take it seriously.

So i cut it short after a while telling her that the conversation was going nowhere and there wasnt really anything more to talk about, the Bye's were said quickly and i hung up. Soon after the call I was feeling pretty sh!tty.. didnt know what to do? I was asking if i should have told her I still loved her? Is there any chance of us two getting back together, or should I forget it and move on? Are relationships ever the same after such a breakup? I know there isnt such thing as a good breakup, its an illusion. Did i throw away something special? After two month of forgetting about her, why the fuk did she have to randomly msg me that? Wtf is going thro her brain rite now? Is the 'one' still out there waiting for me, or did i just let her go? Wtf do i do?"

Oh she just messaged you like that in hopes it would trigger your emotions for her proving to her you still had some, then when you talked on the phone she could pay you back for hurting her by acting like a total b!tch with her little immature sarcastic laugh-athon. And no relationships are never the same after a breakup. As for the one we have all thought we found the one at one point.

Truth is there is no "one" but many ones and the greatest hope is we all find a new one out of that pile that is compatible with us. No fairytale romance bullsh!t just cold hard reality. Compatibility is what you need to be on the lookout for from now on soldier.

Oh and don't tell her you love her or fall for any trap she might set to get you back into a relationship with her. At this point she would only be doing that to eventually break up with you putting her in the power position and giving her revenge on you for leaving her.

You did a reasonable thing by ending the LDR and you did it honorably by not going behind her back and cheating on her. Plus you benefited from the breakup with your own self improvement by getting yourself to become more DJ in many ways.

 

[MrGold]

Much appreciated.