F*ck your EGO! (Read THIS if you just got dumped!!)

[Lotus Effect]

Hey guys!

I just want to tell one thing I've learned in the past few days for myself.

We are all preaching about how b*tchy our Exs are for treating us like sh*t, for dumping us, for feeling good about themselfs when we break NC and chase them so that they can easily move on from us. And I agree with this 100%.

However, aren't we all trying to do the same? Remaining NC, so they could eventually chase us, them we will feel good about ourselfs and move on from those hos?

I'm not trying to pick sides here, because I'm well aware of which side I am. I'm sad, I'm angry, I want everything to be back as before and I miss her. But this sh*t ain't happenin (at least if you [and me] have a little bit of self-respect). But my point here is one. We are being selfish as well. And I'm not saying we should not be. Or that we are better than them. What I'm saying is:

We are all trying to get a good ego stroke. We just want to feel good about ourselfs knowing that b*tch that broke our hearts are crawling in the mud for us.
THIS SH*T IS WRONG!

As I've stated previously. F**K her and f**k her ego. But most specially, F*CK YOUR EGO AS WELL. I know how much it hurts. I haven't done anything this year besides thinking about her. SHE DUMPED IN MAY. The relationship was sh*tty way before may. We are in november. The year is gone, and I've done nothing besides crying and plotting. But not anymore.


I will repeat it. F*CK YOUR EGO!!


There is nothing to be done. Stop being selfish. It's over. There is nothing to be done about the "relationship". That sh*t is dead. The only thing to be done is to MAN THE F**K UP and let her go. Anyway, she had already let you go LONG ago. She didn't dumped you the day she dumped you. You have gone ghost to her way before that. Way before.

So just let it be. Take the blow as a man. And as a MAN, live with your regrets to yourself. F*CK closure. Closure is just another word for being a f*cking p*ssy. It is the biggest sign of insecurity. Walk away. Never look back.

You may read this and think, "Yeah, but my situation is different. My girl is special/I haven't chased/She's my soulmate/We have kids/I like noodles/We can work things out" STOP IT!! Your situation is not different. I'm in here for something around a month and I got 100+ posts. Go read some of them. I was a f**king p*ssy.

And I haven't chased her, but then I chased, then I played cool, then I opened up. Only to push her far far away from me. And do you know what chasing her made me? A bigger p*ssy. This girl have no respect for me whatsoever anymore. But that's is good. It made me see things from a clearer view. If I kept worrying about her, she would have the upper hand indeed, since I sent her a 3 pages long email for "closure", in which she replied with a two lines message 20 days later...

...The words that she said were only directed to hurt me. But the words were meaningless. The important thing was the message she conveyed. What message she conveyed you ask? That she does not give a F*ck about me... So, if she does not give a F*ck about me, why should I give a f*ck about her?? If she texts me again. F*ck it. Not interested. If she does not text me again. Better, really not interested.

What you guys are failing to see that they do not mean you any well, otherwise she wouldn't dump/cheat/leave you, and be indifferent about it. OPEN YOUR F**KING EYES

Bottomline:
There is no hand!!
They do not have an upper hand. Nor we. It's over. There are no more cards to be played. The game is over. Nobody is playing sh*t.

F*CK YOUR EGO. Just deal with it.
Dealing with it will make you a better and stronger man than having a useless b*tch crawling for you.

Wake and Man the F**k up guys.

Peace!

 

[Jariel]

I'd rep you for this post, but I've repped you out for now.

But this is absolutely spot on. I've been coming to the same realization since my break up too. As a matter of fact, it was my ego that destroyed my relationship. I felt she wasn't showing me enough attention, respect, feeding my ego enough so I snapped and dumped her to try and defend my pride.

But this isn't the first time I've done this. I've done it many times before and overreacted or tried some mindgames that backfired, all to protect my fragile ego.

And I can most definitely relate to the examples in your post. That need for closure, that need to get her crawling back so you can have the upper hand and so on. And like you say, we accuse them of playing games, seeking an ego fix, when we're seeking the same thing. We just hate it when they get it and we don't. That really wounds our egos.

I wrote a detailed post about this many years ago after a bit of a revelation:

www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=75166

It's just too bad I didn't stick to my own advice the past years.

It is one of my major goals at this time to try and overcome the grip my ego has on me.

 

[nmartinez12443]

What was the two line message she went?

 

[Betterz]

What was the two line message she went?

yeah wondering that too..

 

[betheman]

OP is correct, the ego is the real villain here, for men and women. master the ego and life becomes easier, the demons fade away.

 

[Lotus Effect]

Hahaha! It's rather funny indeed.

And it is a prove to ALL you guys out there that they are just in seek for validation, and most specially, they do not mean us well.
It is just for their Ego, as she beautifully stated out loud the day we broke up
"I'm just texting this dude [The dude she cheated on me with] to feed my ego, all girls do the same. You were not suposed to see this".
Oh, no way!! Seriously Sherlock?... Incosiderate B*tch ¬¬

To sum my 3 pages long email:
I told her what I've learned about relationships in general; what I've learned about myself; how should I act in a next relationship 'cause I would not wait for her; what I loved (past tense) about her; that I was cuting contact with her forever; and that if we ever cross each other in life again we, being more mature, could have a decent conversation. Wished good luck and farewell.
(I haven't said I'm sorry, please take me back, and most specially, I HAVE NOT ASKED FOR A REPLY. Even more, there was no room for replies... Just to clarify)

She replied in the same hour with a txt msg telling me that she could not reply me at that moment 'cause she was busy with her sister's B'day, and that she would reply me up until the weekend (it was WED) 'cause I "deserved" a well thought reply that could not be rushed. Can you guys fell her entitlement??

Anyway, 20 days (3 weekends) after that, Here is her reply:

Date: Oct 30th
Subject: This is not an Answer

Hey Hunny Bunny,

Sorry for taking too long to say something. Anything at all. I've been reading your email almost every day. But it is still very tough to digest. After all, you've wrote a beautiful treatise about love. Our love.

I just want to make it clear that silence is not indifference, but rather commotion.

See you soon,

Crazy ex

Hunny Bunny. See you soon. This is remarcably selfish. Her only intent with this was to reel me in, and keep me at bay.

My email was good, but it wasn't 45 days mouth shutting freezing good. If she had anything to say, she would've already said. It's actually funny to see how the mind of a girl can skyrocket in regards to her own ego and sense of entitlement.

Seriously. A beautiful treatise about love? What the F?? And I guarantee you, if sounds dramatic in english it is only because you have not read it in Portuguese. Hahaha
And how funny is "silence is not indifference, but rather commotion". She is so full of herself that is laughable.

Anyway. Her message wasn't as hard to digest for me as mine was (as she said) to her.
F*ck her EGO. I could not care less if she crawls back to me or if she believes I'll be always there waiting for her!

So F*ck her and F*ck her fancy word picking
I'll leave her to her commotion!

Peace!

 

[Renegade357]

So F*ck her and F*ck her fancy word picking.
I'll leave her to her commotion!

Whoa dude, I could almost see/smell the power trip radiating from your ex-girlfriend's email. She sounds like she's judging you at the gates of heaven or something. A real piece of work. Anyway, I hope you find someone better soon.

 

[Skyline]

Could you write a thread about your experience with said ex? I'd like to hear the fully story if you don't mind. Sounds like it would be an interesting read about triumphing ones self perception.

 

[Lotus Effect]

Whoa dude, I could almost see/smell the power trip radiating from your ex-girlfriend's email. She sounds like she's judging you at the gates of heaven or something. A real piece of work. Anyway, I hope you find someone better soon.

I told you guys... It was absolute priceless. It's almost beautiful (if wasn't Evil). She really believes she is the last coke in the desert.

And it is my fault that she believes that.

But the real deal is this. I could try to change this image she have made about me.
But should I waste any more of my time/energy trying to "balance" the power. Trying to show her that I'm not that into her anymore so I could feel good about myself?? Of course not!

What good will that bring me? None. It would be just to satisfy my fragile ego.

F*ck it. Let her believe whatever she wants to believe. I'm not with her anymore, so I couldn't care less about what she thinks!

"Oh, but what if she changes her mind Lotus? What if she eventually sees that you were the right guy. One of the good batch?"
F*ck it. Let her believe whatever she wants to believe. I'm not with her anymore, so I couldn't care less about what she thinks!

Bottomline Guys. Let your Ego take the Blow.
You'll grow stronger.

Peace

EDIT:

Could you write a thread about your experience with said ex? I'd like to hear the fully story if you don't mind. Sounds like it would be an interesting read about triumphing ones self perception.

Yeah, it would be a pleasure! Proly up by tomorrow. Kind of a long story!

 

[happyDJ]

I asked a similar question last week
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=209687

 

[TheGambino]

Just cut and bail when she ends it, best in all ways for you

 

[mikey2012]

I been thinking about this as well. If she doesnt give a fvck about you. Why should you give a fvck about her? Why is it some people dont see that? Is it because we want things we cant get? Why do we have this state of mind that we want her back, yes it maybe EGO but it maybe because we have been rejected? or maybe its because we think we cant better? or is it we think of good times?

I think most people CANT LET GO because they think THEY CANT GET ANY BETTER. If you went out with a chick who you thought was ok but nothing special, if she left, what would you think? Probably no biggie. The fact is that we get TOO involved with chicks we really like because we REALLY like them and this is ONEITIS. So when they dump us, we act like an AFC because we think we CANT do better.

Think about it this way. If you had a whole soccer team of Victoria Secret models and could have anyone anytime, would you care if one of them left??

Conversely. You should be the BEST that she could get. The fact is chicks find it easier to get men then us get chicks so they live in the land of PLENTY. You must change your mindset! Think if you are billionaire or a Hollywood A lister, YOU would be the best they can get and if you dump them then they lose. George Clooney dont get dumped. He dumps and women will think he's the best that can ever get. YOU NEED THIS MINDSET

Listen if she dont give a fvck about you, then you SHOULDNT spend energy giving a crap anymore. Who cares? Only care for people that care about you.

If she got things mixed up and thought you didnt care about her, then she will be back. If she doesnt realize this, then shes a dumb cvnt anyway. Who needs that? Dont spend time and energy on someone that dont give a fvck about you.

 

[mikey2012]

Hahaha! It's rather funny indeed.

And it is a prove to ALL you guys out there that they are just in seek for validation, and most specially, they do not mean us well.
It is just for their Ego, as she beautifully stated out loud the day we broke up
"I'm just texting this dude [The dude she cheated on me with] to feed my ego, all girls do the same. You were not suposed to see this".
Oh, no way!! Seriously Sherlock?... Incosiderate B*tch ¬¬

To sum my 3 pages long email:
I told her what I've learned about relationships in general; what I've learned about myself; how should I act in a next relationship 'cause I would not wait for her; what I loved (past tense) about her; that I was cuting contact with her forever; and that if we ever cross each other in life again we, being more mature, could have a decent conversation. Wished good luck and farewell.
(I haven't said I'm sorry, please take me back, and most specially, I HAVE NOT ASKED FOR A REPLY. Even more, there was no room for replies... Just to clarify)

She replied in the same hour with a txt msg telling me that she could not reply me at that moment 'cause she was busy with her sister's B'day, and that she would reply me up until the weekend (it was WED) 'cause I "deserved" a well thought reply that could not be rushed. Can you guys fell her entitlement??

Anyway, 20 days (3 weekends) after that, Here is her reply:Hunny Bunny. See you soon. This is remarcably selfish. Her only intent with this was to reel me in, and keep me at bay.

My email was good, but it wasn't 45 days mouth shutting freezing good. If she had anything to say, she would've already said. It's actually funny to see how the mind of a girl can skyrocket in regards to her own ego and sense of entitlement.

Seriously. A beautiful treatise about love? What the F?? And I guarantee you, if sounds dramatic in english it is only because you have not read it in Portuguese. Hahaha
And how funny is "silence is not indifference, but rather commotion". She is so full of herself that is laughable.

Anyway. Her message wasn't as hard to digest for me as mine was (as she said) to her.
F*ck her EGO. I could not care less if she crawls back to me or if she believes I'll be always there waiting for her!

So F*ck her and F*ck her fancy word picking
I'll leave her to her commotion!

Peace!

lol. told ya these are evil mofos you dealing with.
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=205337

YOU SHOULDVE SAID NOTHING


She probably sucking big black cocck while replying

 

[blindnowisee]

It's simple really. You go through phases:

Phase 1 - straight after breakup: using no contact to protect your heart from further pain and agony.

Phase 2: using no contact as a way to shift your attention from thinking about her all day every day to improving yourself, becoming a better person, start lifting weights etc. etc.

Phase 3: no contact transitions into stopped caring.. congrats you've officially moved on.

 

[adam225]

^^^

 

[Lotus Effect]

lol. told ya these are evil mofos you dealing with.
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=205337

YOU SHOULDVE SAID NOTHING


She probably sucking big black cocck while replying

That is actually a great post of yours mikey2012.

Lots of hate, but it happens. They can really hurt us up to the point of hate. I'm struggling with hate towards women now, I'm trying to accept the fact that they are all slvts, and that is a good thing indeed. They being slvts make it easier for guys like us to f**k them. Or any other dude out there for that matter.

But the thing that Guys are struggling with though, something I also struggled with(and still struggle a little bit) is doing this specific kind of sh*t that I've done, Pedestalizing, in any kind of form that can be done (mine with a HUGE ASS letter), and then, after further realisation and decent advices, regreting doing such stupid sh*t.

After regreting it, and realising the girl actually believing she owns you, trying to prove otherwise, by going NC waiting for the Ex sending a miss you txt, or sending an "indifferent" text to the ex. Whatever, you got the point.

And lots of guys are doing so. Sometimes I still catch myself waiting for a reply, or texting her asking for my sunglasses back. THAT IS BULLSH*T!!

LET HER BELIEVE WHATEVER THE F**K SHE WANTS!! We are not together anymore, so why should I care if she thinks that she is a goddess to me or not. She is not, I KNOW IT, and that is what should matter to me.

In my email I told her that she was my first love, my first gf, that I would never forget her, that she will always have a space in my heart, wadda wadda... UTTER AFC! As you said, "YOU SHOULDVE SAID NOTHING"
But my question is. So What!? That sh*t is said. It is my fault that she believes so, but then again, SO WHAT!? Let her believe it.

I. JUST. DO. NOT. CARE!

She will keep on believing that until the day she realises that she never heard of me ever again in her life.
Or not.
She will believe that up until the day she dies.
One way or another, there is one thing that will remain the same...

...I DO NOT GIVE A FLYING F*CK ABOUT WHAT SHE BELIEVES!

What's done is done. And trying to fix it will only get things worse. Trying to fix it is just an insecure way to prove to myself that I'm better than her, and now she is the one believing I don't care about her.

I don't have to prove nothing to her. And I don't have to prove sh*t to me!
I just have to live my own life, with my regrets, and with the consequences of my decisions...

...This is the kind of sh*t that separates boy from MAN!!

Peace!

 

[VikingKing]

Good post man. We have to watch ourselves. I did this to in my last relationship. I used to wish I could go back and prevent the break up, lol. Then for a long time, I wish I can go back and walk away, go ghost, and never give any reaction or validation.

If I knew then, what I know now. I could have saved myself a lot of pain. But now is a new day.

 

[Lotus Effect]

If I knew then, what I know now. I could have saved myself a lot of pain. But now is a new day.

Yeah you could have...

But, what would be the benefit of that?... None.

You would have walked away with your little boy pride intact, and remain in your bubble of confort unshattered.
The bubble bursted. And now you see the world with different eyes.

Thank god you acted like an AFC.
Thank god this girl may never want to see you again.
Thank god she believes that she is so much supperior than you.

This is the kind of sh*t that hurts. And that little boy needs to be hurt!
Nobody learn nothing in victory. You only learn valuable sh*t through pain.

It's cliché, but "No pain. No gain".

Peace!

 

[Renegade357]

Then for a long time, I wish I can go back and walk away, go ghost, and never give any reaction or validation.

I did this with my breakup. Relationship lasted a little over a year. Got out when I knew it was over. I called her out on her distance routine, walked away, was polite had a smile on my face wished her luck and never contacted her again. I feel less like a jack-a$$ and it still hurts but I believe it will pay off in the end.

Very few guys can react to being dumped like that so if you do it's gotta confuse the heck out of them.

I know her former boyfriends begged after she dropped them. They were verbally abusive, contacted family members, borderline stalked, ect.. It's nice to be different! The one guy who just walked away.

 

[mikey2012]

I did this with my breakup. Relationship lasted a little over a year. Got out when I knew it was over. I called her out on her distance routine, walked away, was polite had a smile on my face wished her luck and never contacted her again. I feel less like a jack-a$$ and it still hurts but I believe it will pay off in the end.

Very few guys can react to being dumped like that so if you do it's gotta confuse the heck out of them.

I know her former boyfriends begged after she dropped them. They were verbally abusive, contacted family members, borderline stalked, ect.. It's nice to be different! The one guy who just walked away.

Yes I did the same. Just walked away. Not many men can do that.