Lotus Effect
Master Don Juan
Let's start from where it should be...
It has been over a year since I've been dumped. And it is has been almost a year since I've joined SoSuave. It took me a while to accept the fact that she was just another girl. In fact, I'm still trying to accept.
I keep fooling myself with the idea that she will eventually realise she messed up, and will come crawling back to me! A f*cking year later.
People told me that the heartbrake take a different amount of time to heal, from people to people. And God knows I had my share of insecurities wondering on how could she moved on so faster than me...
The answer is as clear to me now, as it once were. Despite several rebounds, on both parts, I don't actually believe I will ever be able to get anyone better than her. Oneitis at it's finest! It is sad to know that even after a year, I still think so foundly, and so deluded about this girl.
Anyway, all of this is because of one simple fact, that is also very clear to me.
Despite all my efforts, I haven't changed at all
Yeah, I am way more knowledgeable than I was a year ago. I can fully grasp what happened in my relationship, and I can now pull women like never before. Besides, I quited my dead end job, and now I have a workout mentallity, and also I am now skateboarding, which is an awesome hobby that I didn't have...
But, at my core, I am still the same.
I heard about her the other day through a friend, and it crushed me. To a point that is jeopardizing my actual job, which I really like. Saw her on Tinder a while ago, and crushed even more. All this is empirical proof that I'm the same. Hoping. Wishing. When in fact, I should be living on my own terms.
I'm still lazy, stuck on my confort zone, I'm not chasing my real dreams, I'm slacking at my new job, and I'm not taking the actual challenges that will actually change my behaviors. The very same challenges that I preach to many, not only in here, but on my day to day life.
So, after some profound intropesction (a year long one), it is time to put on my own big boy pants, and do sh*t that actual matter, to me. Not to look confident for a day that may actually never rise where she reappear on my life again.
BUT TO BE CONFIDENT. FOR ME!
So, it is time to put all this talk I've talked about in practice. It is time to walk the walk.
At least a characteristic that I've developed throughout this past year is resilience, and stubborness to my own word, so I'm writing this down, and I'm sticking to it.
I'm done with this b*tch bringing me down. She won't. It is time to admit that it is over, and there is no point to keep that little hope of her ever coming back. The only thing that this is doing to me is bringing me down!
So, without further ado, here is the list of things that must be done, ASAP, not to her back, but to finally break free of this f*cking spell I like to be, and get better:
It is being a real challenge putting all this down, as my body is struggling with cognitive disruptions to lead me to laziness. Not this time!!
All this can be easily achieved if I create my daily schedule, so my next entry will be this.
Thanks everyone, and good luck to me. The mourning is over now!
Time to grab life by the balls! :rockon:
PS: You can lie to everyone else in the world, but the only person you can't lie to is yourself!
It has been over a year since I've been dumped. And it is has been almost a year since I've joined SoSuave. It took me a while to accept the fact that she was just another girl. In fact, I'm still trying to accept.
I keep fooling myself with the idea that she will eventually realise she messed up, and will come crawling back to me! A f*cking year later.
People told me that the heartbrake take a different amount of time to heal, from people to people. And God knows I had my share of insecurities wondering on how could she moved on so faster than me...
The answer is as clear to me now, as it once were. Despite several rebounds, on both parts, I don't actually believe I will ever be able to get anyone better than her. Oneitis at it's finest! It is sad to know that even after a year, I still think so foundly, and so deluded about this girl.
Anyway, all of this is because of one simple fact, that is also very clear to me.
Despite all my efforts, I haven't changed at all
Yeah, I am way more knowledgeable than I was a year ago. I can fully grasp what happened in my relationship, and I can now pull women like never before. Besides, I quited my dead end job, and now I have a workout mentallity, and also I am now skateboarding, which is an awesome hobby that I didn't have...
But, at my core, I am still the same.
I heard about her the other day through a friend, and it crushed me. To a point that is jeopardizing my actual job, which I really like. Saw her on Tinder a while ago, and crushed even more. All this is empirical proof that I'm the same. Hoping. Wishing. When in fact, I should be living on my own terms.
I'm still lazy, stuck on my confort zone, I'm not chasing my real dreams, I'm slacking at my new job, and I'm not taking the actual challenges that will actually change my behaviors. The very same challenges that I preach to many, not only in here, but on my day to day life.
So, after some profound intropesction (a year long one), it is time to put on my own big boy pants, and do sh*t that actual matter, to me. Not to look confident for a day that may actually never rise where she reappear on my life again.
BUT TO BE CONFIDENT. FOR ME!
So, it is time to put all this talk I've talked about in practice. It is time to walk the walk.
At least a characteristic that I've developed throughout this past year is resilience, and stubborness to my own word, so I'm writing this down, and I'm sticking to it.
I'm done with this b*tch bringing me down. She won't. It is time to admit that it is over, and there is no point to keep that little hope of her ever coming back. The only thing that this is doing to me is bringing me down!
So, without further ado, here is the list of things that must be done, ASAP, not to her back, but to finally break free of this f*cking spell I like to be, and get better:
#1) Don't talk about her anymore. To anyone, anywhere, at anytime.
(I've talked about her for a year now. Her time is up)
#2) Head back to gym. Four times a week. Stop pulling fake excuses, such as "I don't have money for supplements", "I don't know how to do this exercises alone". Eat whatever you have, and search the web to learn the exercises*
* I don't know many specifics of it right now, but I'll improve this section as I'm learning stuff. Propably, this section will be written in portuguese though, due to the name of the exercises, and because we use metric system in Brazil.
#3) Meditate once a day. 20 minutes per meditation!
#4) Make a financial plan. I'm 26 years old now. It is time to be held account of my own money. And to make a propper use of it.
#5) Save a day in my week to manage my band.
(Don't give up on your f*cking dream)
#6) Ride the bus to get to work instead of driving.
#7) Create and stick to my daily schedulle.
#8) Quit, once and for all, cocaine.
#9) Read. Plain and simple. Save an hour a day to f*cking read. Finish a book before starting a new one, and the DJ Bible as well.
(I've talked about her for a year now. Her time is up)
#2) Head back to gym. Four times a week. Stop pulling fake excuses, such as "I don't have money for supplements", "I don't know how to do this exercises alone". Eat whatever you have, and search the web to learn the exercises*
* I don't know many specifics of it right now, but I'll improve this section as I'm learning stuff. Propably, this section will be written in portuguese though, due to the name of the exercises, and because we use metric system in Brazil.
#3) Meditate once a day. 20 minutes per meditation!
#4) Make a financial plan. I'm 26 years old now. It is time to be held account of my own money. And to make a propper use of it.
#5) Save a day in my week to manage my band.
(Don't give up on your f*cking dream)
#6) Ride the bus to get to work instead of driving.
#7) Create and stick to my daily schedulle.
#8) Quit, once and for all, cocaine.
#9) Read. Plain and simple. Save an hour a day to f*cking read. Finish a book before starting a new one, and the DJ Bible as well.
It is being a real challenge putting all this down, as my body is struggling with cognitive disruptions to lead me to laziness. Not this time!!
All this can be easily achieved if I create my daily schedule, so my next entry will be this.
Thanks everyone, and good luck to me. The mourning is over now!
Time to grab life by the balls! :rockon:
PS: You can lie to everyone else in the world, but the only person you can't lie to is yourself!
