Eye Contact - What's the difference?

[greatgatsby]

what's up everyone? i've been reading this forum for a few weeks now and have a few questions for you all... i also apologize if what i'm asking has been mentioned previously!

1) Eye Contact - Okay, how do you know if a woman is looking at you b/c she's attracted/interested, or just looking at you b/c you are in her line of vision (i.e. walking towards each other in a store)? and yes, i'm fully aware of the pupil dilation effect! but when you're in a store and you pass by a woman, you don't really have time to check for dilation and you're typically not that close to her in passing anyway. what is it really about the eye contact that lets you "KNOW" that she's interested? b/c quite honestly, there have been times when i will catch eyes with a woman that i wouldn't touch w/ a 10ft pole, but for some reason we will just keep catching eyes, so in her head, she may be like, "this guy is interested in me!" - and that's clearly not the case.

i always notice women looking at me, but sometimes it's hard to read, especially when they don't give off any subconscious indicators (i.e. smile, playing w/ hair, touching face, etc.)


2) Growing UP - okay, so i'm a pretty good looking dude (non ego) and have never had a problem getting women (especially when i was younger (high school)). (33 now). it seems that back then chicks would just flock to me and were VERY BOLD. thus, i never had to put in any work to get them. when i went to college things started changing a bit... girls still were into me but it wasn't like it was when i was younger. now it seems the older i/we get the fewer "blatant" come-ons i get! what's the deal??? do women become more reserved when they get older or what? i don't really approach women (based on never having to do so in the past), but now it's like i'm behind the 8-ball b/c i've never had to do it!!!

 

[edger]

1) Eye Contact - Okay, how do you know if a woman is looking at you b/c she's attracted/interested, or just looking at you b/c you are in her line of vision (i.e. walking towards each other in a store)? and yes, i'm fully aware of the pupil dilation effect! but when you're in a store and you pass by a woman, you don't really have time to check for dilation and you're typically not that close to her in passing anyway. what is it really about the eye contact that lets you "KNOW" that she's interested? b/c quite honestly, there have been times when i will catch eyes with a woman that i wouldn't touch w/ a 10ft pole, but for some reason we will just keep catching eyes, so in her head, she may be like, "this guy is interested in me!" - and that's clearly not the case.

i always notice women looking at me, but sometimes it's hard to read, especially when they don't give off any subconscious indicators (i.e. smile, playing w/ hair, touching face, etc.)

I hear ya. It's not always easy to tell if a woman's interested in you or not. Like you said, sometimes you lock eyes(and sometimes more than once) with a woman who you wouldn't touch with a 10ft pole, who might take it as if you're interested in her. I have that happen a lot. Every guy does. So yeah, it works the same way for women too.

The only way I really know a woman is interested, is if she locks eyes with me for a long time, or if she smiles. But most of the time that doesn't happen to me. And I'm a very good-looking guy too, which goes to show ya that most women could care less how good-looking you are.

2) Growing UP - okay, so i'm a pretty good looking dude (non ego) and have never had a problem getting women (especially when i was younger (high school)). (33 now). it seems that back then chicks would just flock to me and were VERY BOLD. thus, i never had to put in any work to get them. when i went to college things started changing a bit... girls still were into me but it wasn't like it was when i was younger. now it seems the older i/we get the fewer "blatant" come-ons i get! what's the deal??? do women become more reserved when they get older or what? i don't really approach women (based on never having to do so in the past), but now it's like i'm behind the 8-ball b/c i've never had to do it!!!

TELL ME ABOUT IT. I hear ya all too well. It was easy to pull hot tail in high school. But once I got to college, it was a whole different ballgame. And as the yrs progressed, it became even harder. I've written about this before. The only reasonable explanation I can come up with for it, is that once women reach college, they realize their power. When they are young in high school, they haven't fully realized and figured out how the game between the sexes works and don't realize their power. As they get older, they gain more experience and become wiser to their advantage over men, hence they become harder to pull. It's crazy, it's really a vicious cycle. But unfortunately that's the curse we as men have to live with.

I had the same problem as you, where all my life I was so used to hot chix pursuing me with hardly any effort on my part, and then when it came time for me to "pick-up" chix, I was more or less in the dark on where to start.

When chix are in high school, looks is solely what gets you the girl. In high school there's no need to worry about having "game". All you have to do is be a good-looking guy. That's why it's easier in high school to pull chix. And I believe(aside from girls coming to realize their worth/power/advantage over guys) it also has to do with a girls biology/body/brain chemistry working differently at that stage in their life. What happened to me was, growing up, all I ever relied on were my good looks to attract girls. That was all I needed. But then when I got to college, I was in for a rude awakening, because what once attracted the girls to me, hardly worked anymore. Now I found myself at the point where my good looks only helped SOMETIMES. And even when I would find my looks on the rare occassions that it DID help me, I now needed good GAME to accompany it, otherwise I wasn't getting the chick.

So, like I said, after high school, IT ALL CHANGES, and the male/female interaction process turns into a vicous cycle.

 

[Rex Man]

Okay, how do you know if a woman is looking at you b/c she's attracted/interested, or just looking at you b/c you are in her line of vision

You go talk to her. ASSUME it is because she wants to fcuk you were you stand. The timid gain nothing. History books are filled with the bold and the audacious. Remember that.

 

[greatgatsby]

edger - thanks man! i hear you, and what you are saying really makes alot of sense. i was kind of thinking the same thing, but it's good to know that someone else has "verbalized" it for me.

rex man - "the timid gain nothing" i love it!!! reminds me of achilles in the movie troy when he says something to the effect of, "that's why they will never remember your name!" ...thanks.

 

[In2theGame]

what's up everyone? i've been reading this forum for a few weeks now and have a few questions for you all... i also apologize if what i'm asking has been mentioned previously!

1) Eye Contact - Okay, how do you know if a woman is looking at you b/c she's attracted/interested, or just looking at you b/c you are in her line of vision (i.e. walking towards each other in a store)? and yes, i'm fully aware of the pupil dilation effect! but when you're in a store and you pass by a woman, you don't really have time to check for dilation and you're typically not that close to her in passing anyway. what is it really about the eye contact that lets you "KNOW" that she's interested? b/c quite honestly, there have been times when i will catch eyes with a woman that i wouldn't touch w/ a 10ft pole, but for some reason we will just keep catching eyes, so in her head, she may be like, "this guy is interested in me!" - and that's clearly not the case.

i always notice women looking at me, but sometimes it's hard to read, especially when they don't give off any subconscious indicators (i.e. smile, playing w/ hair, touching face, etc.)


2) Growing UP - okay, so i'm a pretty good looking dude (non ego) and have never had a problem getting women (especially when i was younger (high school)). (33 now). it seems that back then chicks would just flock to me and were VERY BOLD. thus, i never had to put in any work to get them. when i went to college things started changing a bit... girls still were into me but it wasn't like it was when i was younger. now it seems the older i/we get the fewer "blatant" come-ons i get! what's the deal??? do women become more reserved when they get older or what? i don't really approach women (based on never having to do so in the past), but now it's like i'm behind the 8-ball b/c i've never had to do it!!!

Totally understand. This is same issue with me. I never had problems getting girls when i was younger (teenage years) When i hit the 20's (20,21,22) i was still getting hit on ALOT but now im 25 and things arent the same. i just get alot of looks now but dont get approached like i used to.

 

[In2theGame]

Another thing i want to mention here is that as you get older, if your good looking, Yes it does HELP but thats all it does, ....Help. I want to also point out that if an older woman sees a Hot guy walking by or sitting close by, she may glance over and think hes hot but she might of been burned by the good looking guy in her past, so now she sees good looking guys as another azzhole without class. every woman has a past with guys and some are just shy. Since girls in High School have minimal exposure to the dating game and experience with guys, they go for the hottie and if that hottie burns her heart she will carry that with her as she gets older. thus the "hot" guy wont have as much effect on her.

 

[AKA FLEX]

Another thing i want to mention here is that as you get older, if your good looking, Yes it does HELP but thats all it does, ....Help. I want to also point out that if an older woman sees a Hot guy walking by or sitting close by, she may glance over and think hes hot but she might of been burned by the good looking guy in her past, so now she sees good looking guys as another azzhole without class. every woman has a past with guys and some are just shy. Since girls in High School have minimal exposure to the dating game and experience with guys, they go for the hottie and if that hottie burns her heart she will carry that with her as she gets older. thus the "hot" guy wont have as much effect on her.

That is pretty much it when it comes to older chicks vs younger chicks.

However, if you are getting looks and you know chicks are liking what they see, it shouldn't matter if they actually approach you or not. Knowing they're looking should give you the c-o-jones to approach THEM with confidence.

If you're getting laid, it really doesn't matter who approaches who.

 

[chinwaggler]

Thing is I was wondering today, walking aroung town, if you're just like walking past random people, it seems they hardly ever make eye contact. Out twice, I walked past a lot of people and I think two people made eye contact and said hello back and they were old men walking their dog :O Why don't women seem to be willing to make eye contact with strangers? Are they just shy or something?

 

[SinJester]

N00bs overdo the eye contact thing way too much! I hate it. Eye contact isn't a reliable IOI. The only way you are going to find out if she is interested is to go up and talk[/] to her. If you are looking for IOIs you probably aren't in the right state of mind. If you are looking for IOIs at a distance even more so. You should always assume interest. Who ever gives advice like look for pupils dilating? Absolutely ridiclous. If you are trying to attract someone you should be in the moment not worrying about minor details in her eyes. It isn't the guys job to me looking at small indicators! Take action!

At chinwaggle's post: Of course people are hesitant about strangers. It's in our nature and what we have been taught since we were kids. Why are you trying to make eye contact with strangers anyway? It it's just an eye contact exercise to get your confidence up with that then that's fine, otherwise you should be approaching and talking to them.

 

[chinwaggler]

hey i'm friendly i like saying hello to everyone but i'm chinese so maybe it's culture clash.