Eye Contact and breaking the gaze

[mahon83050]

I went on a date last night with a girl that I met online. The date seemed to go well and I made sure I looked into her eyes when I spoke. However, sometimes we would just hold each others gaze when their was silence. I'll have to admit It felt awkward and alot of the times I was the one who broke the gaze. Other times, she broke first, but I would say it was 60/40 in her favor. Her pupils were dilated, however isn't that natural when the eyes are deprived of light? (we were in a dim setting) Is the man breaking the gaze first a sign of weakness?

 

[Eternal]

During those long breaks...Go in for the kiss. That's one way to break the silence. By the way, a man breaking a gaze is usually a sign of weakness.

 

[poonologist]

i love that go in for the kiss idea.so simple and obvious yet an excellent idea

 

[italostud]

I think you're thinking about this too much. You don't always have to be looking at her. If you're concentrating on your eyes the whole time, you're going to end up looking kinda funny. Look down at your drink, look around the room, but for ****'s sake don't stare at her for the sake of staring. You ever see someone walking around and you can tell they're self concious about the way they walk? They end up looking stiff and stuff. That's because they are concentrating so hard on their walking that they look retarded. Loosen up a little bit.

 

[becker]

I think that this is a little subjective, because if you're holding a gaze and it's been a while, breaking it is not going to show weakness. We're not playing chicken here.

To me, it shows weakness maybe only if you are walking toward a girl and you look at her and when you look into her eyes, you look away right away. That's more where this applies.

Sometimes you have to break the gaze because it is awkward otherwise. It's acceptable in some situations.

What is most important to me is that you look into her eyes when you're talking to her, or when you're listening to something she's saying.

And yes, pupils will always be dilated in dim settings, so don't judge it then. It's a little inaccurate, and to me, the only time it might show attraction is if you are in a light setting, and you actually see them get bigger right before your eyes, like when she is looking away, you call her, she looks at you, and you see them dilate. I've seen this before.

 

[Duke]

During conversation, maintain eye contact for the most part. Look deep into one of her eyes and nod as she blabs. Nodding and saying "yeah, mmhmm" will score you big points b/c she thinks you are an active listener.

During the "triangular gaze" (you both look into each others' eyes longingly), go for the kiss test. Brush her hair from her face. If she goes with the flow, kiss her.

Otherwise, don't concern yourself about it too much. Practice maintaining eye-contact and nodding during every conversation you have, and you'll be programmed to do it with HBs.

I try to make eye-contact with everyone I pass. If you're smiling, you'll be surprised at how many return-smiles and "Hi's" you get. If you look away as soon as you make eye-contact with an HB, it makes you look weak. You don't have to stare, just hold EC for a second or two. If you look into her eyes and then she shifts her focus to your eyes, don't immediately divert you glance away from her. Don't let her swat you down! Just give her that look that says, "Yeah, I'm lookin' at you and I like what I see, toots "

Don't wear a perma-smile either. If you're already grinning like an idiot when you make EC with her, it doesn't say much.

If you have your normal game-face on and then gently smile (mona-lisa style) when you see her, it tells her that you dig her at least a little.