Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Extreme shyness with one girl

Energy25

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I am providing a lot of background information first if you want some laughs at how shy and AFC I was last year. My history with this girl starts way back in 8th grade, when she was all over me and completely obsessed. I went to a different school in 9th grade and when I saw her once during the year, she flirted with me and asked me if I had to go to the other school all four years. During the year after that, I ended up writing her on myspace and even told her I "can't think of any other girls than you" when she asked if I had a gf. (that's as bad as it gets, I know lol)

I then ended up going back to the same school as her in 10th grade and during that year she would say hi to me whenever she saw me in the hallway.

I was our school's best runner on the cross country team by a lot and she happened to join the team in 11th grade. In the first week of practice, she flirted with me like no other. (Constantly saying my name to get my attention, initiating conversations, laughing, smiling, staring, touching me, you name it!) Being the major AFC shy guy I was, I did nothing, even when she flirted and hinted at going to homecoming with me! I just smiled and didn't ask her out! I would see her at meets just staring and smiling when I was joking around with other guys all the time. I mean she was like seemingly obsessed with me again, but because I was so shy, nothing happened.

On a side note, just to point out how much she liked me, I was in a class with another girl who said on the first day, "are you Energy25?" and I said yeah and she said "oh i've always wanted to meet you" and guess what the next words out of her mouth were? Yeah, the name of the girl! She said something about how she talks about me. Also, during one of my classes, a girl who is a friend of this girl asks me if I'm friends with the girl. I say "no, because we don't really talk." I think it's a pretty big sign of a girl liking you when her friends mention her around you.

Fast forward to the summer of 12th grade when I texted her and eventually told her we should hangout. She acted all excited and said "omg you actually wanna hangout? I thought you hated me or something"....(This is because I was so shy around her)...After this "conversation", I texted her a few days later and asked if she still wanted to hangout and she said yeah maybe "this weekend. I replied "Sunday?" and she never texted back. A week after that last text I sent, practice for cross country started and after practice on the second day, she called me over and asked about hanging out, saying "You're always so mean to me, do you really want to hangout" and "If you want to hangout I will" and she told me to text her that night. I didn't because I was kinda pissed she said I was mean to her. (she was right though because I am so shy around her which is rude in a way)....Anyways, I never brought it up again.

The day before the first day of school she sees me at my locker and realized my locker is right next to hers, and literally puts on a show, grabbing my arm and was like "omg our lockers are right next to eachother"...I mean, it was obvious she was exaggerating her reaction for some reason.

Later in the year, after failed attempts for me to talk to her more, I decided it would be easier to just call her and tell her that I liked her lol. (dont make fun of me lol) anyways, I called her and told her that I was only shy around her because I liked her and she said "it's ok just be yourself" and told me to "just talk to me more and everything will be fine"...

Of course, even after doing this I still was really shy around her and didn't talk to her at our lockers. However, a week after I called her she asked if I wanted to go to the library with her during study hall. I said yes and but it never happened.

After this, she basically stopped talking to me for most days and this lasted through the end of our senior year. Then, feeling the pain of regret in June, I texted her and asked her if she wanted to hangout...(lol after writing all of the stuff above this I realize how stupid this was to ask her that right away)...Anyways, she says she's busy all weekend the first time, then the next time she ignores me, and so I text her "so do you want to hang out? if not, I'll see ya around", basically saying, if you don't respond, i'll leave ya alone, but she replied with "ya what wud u wanna do"....I say mini golf and she says yeah and I ask her if she's free on a certain day but she says she has to work. I then ask when she's free next week and she replies "idk but i'll let ya know" (I know, huge mistake)...She obviously never lets me know so I text her "you're such a flake...i'll see ya around...good luck". And that is THE END....

of our contact anyway....I haven't talked to her since August. Yes, it's a oneitis or whatever the hell you wanna call it. I don't care. This girl was fukcing obsessed with me, year after year, no matter how shy or AFC I acted. I want to know if it is possible to work on my shyness and AFC behavior and go back and show her I'm different? I know she's attracted to me if she stuck with me year after year and kept giving me chances. I just want to know how to show her I'm different and changed, once I have indeed changed. Believe me, this girl is attracted to me physically and likes me, but she can't keep giving me chances and I know that.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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NewAndImproved

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Nope. It's done w/her. Finito, kaput... She lost interest. Move on.

Trust me, I have at least a dozen of these stories. Learn from it and make yourself a better person.
 

Energy25

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NewAndImproved said:
Nope. It's done w/her. Finito, kaput... She lost interest. Move on.

Trust me, I have at least a dozen of these stories. Learn from it and make yourself a better person.
So are you saying it is IMPOSSIBLE to get back her interest at some point, even if she sees a "new me"?
 

Matt281

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It's not impossible, it's just highly unlikey and not worth your time and energy. Doesn't matter that she did like you; people change.

Attraction takes about 10 seconds. Chasing a girl and "trying" for a long time won't help. Only thing that'll help with a oneitis is getting better with girls in general.
 

lorekeeper

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Energy25 said:
So are you saying it is IMPOSSIBLE to get back her interest at some point, even if she sees a "new me"?
In my experiance, it is really hard to get the interest level back, but even if you do everything right, theres still a chance she will still act the same way. Of course I'm probably not the best person to ask for advice, but for some odd reason your post reminded me of this:

Lloyd: What do you think the chances are of a guy like you and a girl like me... ending up together?
Mary: Well, Lloyd, that's difficult to say. I mean, we don't really...
Lloyd: Hit me with it! Just give it to me straight! I came a long way just to see you, Mary. The least you can do is level with me. What are my chances?
Mary: Not good.
Lloyd: You mean, not good like one out of a hundred?
Mary: I'd say more like one out of a million.
[pause]
Lloyd: So you're telling me there's a chance... *YEAH!*
:rock:

my 2 cents? just move on.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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