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Extreme IOI's (Choosing Signals)

We_ArE_VeNOM

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.

Mannn, listen!!

I will share an experience that I had last weekend..I would have shared it sooner, but I was waiting on an update first.

And I just got the update :cool: .

This story is meant to drive home the point that I keep emphasizing, which is..

Do NOT WAIT ON (or count on) IOI's.

And I say this not because IOI's are terrible things, but because a woman can like you, but she will NEVER give off signals or any indication that she does.

Or, what if you perceive her kindness as an IOI, but in actuality, she was just being nice?

Wayyy to much wiggle room in there.

But I will leave it there, since you guys don't listen anyway.
....

Now, to the story..

A little background: Every Saturday or Sunday morning, I am at the gym.

The gym opens at 5am, and I am there no later than 5:30.

I'm usually there for 3-4 hours.

After I leave the gym, I go to the grocery store which is directly across the street...so that I can get my weeks worth of food items to tie me over through the next week.

This has been my weekly routine for about 2 months now...and usually, it is the same cast of employees that work there during those morning hours...so I am used to seeing the same employees.
....

One of those employees is an older, black lady. She is about 5'9 and looked to be in her late 40's or mid 50's.

I dont see her every single weekend, but I've seen her enough and we've made eye contact in passing a few times.

She is a manager in the store and typically, she is walking around the store in a fast pace and is almost always walking with, or in the presence of another employee.

She has a nice size rack, and has a sense of grace and dignity about her.

If I recall, she has greeted me at least once in the store before.

And on this particular day, she was wearing a shirt that displayed a LOT of cleavage :p.
....

Now, here is where things get interesting :cool:

Last Sunday, I had left the gym and did my usual grocery shopping.

I had checked out and rolled my cart over to the side to consolidate my grocery bags...with my backside facing the main store and thus completely oblivious to what is going on behind me.

While in my own little world, I felt a slight bump on my backside.

I look up and turned my head to the side, and it is the manager lady.

She bumped me as she walked past me...and she kept walking and didn't say a word!!

That is, until she got about 10 feet away, turning her head to say "oh, im sorry" :lol:

Me (jokingly): Naw, you did that on purpose.

Her (smiling): I didn't. I'm sorry.

She was in the midst of walking towards the little managers office which was straight ahead..but as we conversed, she turned around and walked back towards me.

So, as she walked back towards me and getting ready to past me, I walked along side her and said..

Me: You know what that means, right? Now, I have to give you my number.

Her (giggling): Ok.

Me: I will give it to you before I leave.

Her (giggling): Ok.
.....

You could tell she was extremely nervous.

I told her to wait but she kept walking.

Luckily, there was a table with papers and a pen (where people can sign up for shiit), and I used the pen and paper to write down my number.

By this time, she had disappeared in one of the aisles, and I knew she was headed towards the backroom and right before she went through the door..

Me: Miss, this is my number. Hit me up, I need to talk to you about something.

Her (giggling): Ok.

I handed her the paper and she disappeared through the door.
...

Now, of course, after everything went down since last Sunday, I've been reflecting on the whole interaction..with mixed emotions.

She didn't call or text me yet, so maybe the entire thing (the bump) was inadvertent after all, and I got the wrong impression.

Well..

Earlier today after I woke up from my usual "after work" nap... someone left a text message.

"This is (let's call her Valerie). How are you?".

Now mind you, I never asked (nor did she give me) her name during our encounter.

Me (text): Valerie. Valerie who?

Since she's yet to respond, I googled her name and the store that she works..and sure enough there is a LinkedIn profile with her name, and the store..it is her picture and her manager job title at the store.

It is her.

That is the latest update.
.....

If/when I get around to speaking to her, I will use her as a case study.

I am going to ask her a few questions about our encounter, and everything leading up to it..which could have been weeks in the making...and share with you guys my results because this is important.

.....

And I wonder; that shirt she wore, which displayed hella cleavage.

Doesn't seem like the kind of shirt a manager should wear at work.

Did she wear it at random?

Or, was she subtlety eyeing me for weeks, and wore it as a means to impress (and bringing it home with the bump).

I don't know, but I'm going to find out that and much more.

One for the ages.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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At least now she knows you're a titty man.
 

SW15

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Do NOT WAIT ON (or count on) IOI's.

And I say this not because IOI's are terrible things, but because a woman can like you, but she will NEVER give off signals or any indication that she does.

Or, what if you perceive her kindness as an IOI, but in actuality, she was just being nice?

Wayyy to much wiggle room in there.
I like IOIs. I think they help approaches have better outcomes. I prefer to approach with IOIs.

Most men are going to have to make approaches without IOIs simply because most men won't get that many IOIs. As far back as the early 2010s, I recall observing that Millennial women weren't all that great at giving off IOIs. In the early 2010s, the Millennial women I was observing this behavior with were roughly 21-30. I don't think the 20 something Gen Z's now are any better at IOIs. I don't think Millennial women were ever as good with giving off IOIs than their Generation X predecessors. IOIs require more social skill and Millennial women started to come of age when technology was reducing in-person social skill.

I also agree there are times when someone can interpret mere kindness as an IOI. I've had that happen to me.
 

All_Kindz_Of_Gainz

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Oh really?

Tell ya what, go out grocery shopping and see if any woman you find attractive will do what was done to me, to you.

It ain't happening.

Dont be a hater, famo.
Do what? Give my number to a desperate 50 something woman and get a text from her? Not hating man, but to me a 50s woman is gross.
 

CornbreadFed

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I do not agree with the choosing signal theory because some of the worst women I have encountered, fickle minded bubbly flirtatious women, tend to throw out "IOIs" like halloween candy.
 

Gamisch

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I kinda agree. It's an extremely difficult topic tho.

Waiting for ioi to me feels like feminine energy. You get an ioi, get some attention/ validation , and the bliss of this combined with the small window to act upon it often time makes it as I say rather a complimentary flirt than anything else.

If anything imo its best to ASSUME you'll get ioi wherever you go ( because you are a don juan, physically impressive and you are hard to go by unnoticed).

I like IOIs. I think they help approaches have better outcomes. I prefer to approach with IOIs.

Most men are going to have to make approaches without IOIs simply because most men won't get that many IOIs. As far back as the early 2010s, I recall observing that Millennial women weren't all that great at giving off IOIs. In the early 2010s, the Millennial women I was observing this behavior with were roughly 21-30. I don't think the 20 something Gen Z's now are any better at IOIs. I don't think Millennial women were ever as good with giving off IOIs than their Generation X predecessors. IOIs require more social skill and Millennial women started to come of age when technology was reducing in-person social skill.

I also agree there are times when someone can interpret mere kindness as an IOI. I've had that happen to me.
Especially when you are "too hungry" looking for ioi ironically enough it will wear you down, actually missing the REALLY interested women.

If I've learned anything it's that once a woman is truly interested she'll definitely make a move, or at least positions herself close to you. That's why its important to ALWAYS be busy upping your smv to the maxxx.
 

Gamisch

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I do not agree with the choosing signal theory because some of the worst women I have encountered, fickle minded bubbly flirtatious women, tend to throw out "IOIs" like halloween candy.
Perhaps the thing is that ;
men look for women who like them, while women look for men they like.

This could be a interesting thread. I loke your point about flirtatious women that trick many men by thnking they're promiscuous or easy while they "just wanna flirt".

Imo a rather introverted man who " waits" for IOI shoul also be HYPER aware of how body language works. Because women are way to subtle and (speaking from DAILY experience from ever since I am 15) you'll miss TONS of interactions by waiting for "the perfect flirt". By the time you are aware that a woman MIGHT be flirting with you, she already done because in her mind she did all she had to do and you are not interested.

So the question then becomes; how do you get better at picking up on subtle ioi ?
 

Gamisch

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Not necessarily. I've slept with a 45 y.o eastern European woman recently, and ditched her due to her age.

Saw her in the gym last week an mhaaaan.
She was HOT. Azz jiggling, looking fine, and basically blasting away much younger women...

She was mad to see me lol :D :oops:
 

All_Kindz_Of_Gainz

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Not necessarily. I've slept with a 45 y.o eastern European woman recently, and ditched her due to her age.

Saw her in the gym last week an mhaaaan.
She was HOT. Azz jiggling, looking fine, and basically blasting away much younger women...

She was mad to see me lol :D :oops:
Pic or didn't happen :)
 

Bokanovsky

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Oh really?

Tell ya what, go out grocery shopping and see if any woman you find attractive will do what was done to me, to you.

It ain't happening.

Dont be a hater, famo.
So by that logic, you should also be flattered if some homo tries to pick you you? WTF. Being hit on by ugly/fat/old women, men or domestic animals does not count.
 

We_ArE_VeNOM

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I like IOIs. I think they help approaches have better outcomes. I prefer to approach with IOIs.
Not every woman that is attracted to you will give off IOI's; and there lies the problem.

Sure, I'd prefer that they do, but they don't.

My point is; IOIs are fine, but you shouldn't rely solely on them..because if you do, you will find yourself disappointed, lonely, and sexless.

Most men are going to have to make approaches without IOIs simply because most men won't get that many IOIs.
My point exactly.

If you aren't getting that many IOIs the first place, then why would you choose to rely on them?

The sad truth is, most guys AREN'T getting enough of those signals (if any) to rely solely on them...which is why IOIs need to be supplemented with cold approach.

As far back as the early 2010s, I recall observing that Millennial women weren't all that great at giving off IOIs. In the early 2010s, the Millennial women I was observing this behavior with were roughly 21-30. I don't think the 20 something Gen Z's now are any better at IOIs. I don't think Millennial women were ever as good with giving off IOIs than their Generation X predecessors. IOIs require more social skill and Millennial women started to come of age when technology was reducing in-person social skill.
But the thing is, just because they aren't great at giving IOIs (or simply refuse to do so), doesn't mean that they aren't attracted to you...which is why you can't rely on them giving YOU signals.

Suppose she is shy? Suppose she is admiring you from a distance? Suppose she rates you as a 5 or 6, which means that you aren't attractive enough for her to give you signals, but you are attractive enough to whereas, if you approach her, she will be open for discussion?

There was a woman at work (I am gonna make a thread about her), I NEVER spoke one word to her and she never gave me any signals whatsoever...yet, I thought she was the cutest woman in the building and admired her from a distance...and she never knew.

I admired her without giving her ANY signals.

It can be the same with women. In fact, it is.

I also agree there are times when someone can interpret mere kindness as an IOI. I've had that happen to me.
Those are a killer lol.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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So by that logic, you should also be flattered if some homo tries to pick you you?
Actually, gay men are more obsessed about male aesthetics than women, so when a gay man thinks you're beautiful that is a compliment. Maybe not a compliment you like to hear as a straight guy, but it still means you're one handsome MFer.
 

JoyDivision1990

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My point is; IOIs are fine, but you shouldn't rely solely on them..because if you do, you will find yourself disappointed, lonely, and sexless.
Fair enough, however.

She bumped me as she walked past me...and she kept walking and didn't say a word!!

That is, until she got about 10 feet away, turning her head to say "oh, im sorry" :lol:
If that isn't a huge IOI, I don't know what is! :p
 

We_ArE_VeNOM

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Do what? Give my number to a desperate 50 something woman and get a text from her? Not hating man, but to me a 50s woman is gross.
Dude, gtfoh.

I did not say give your number to a desperate 50 something woman.

I said to go grocery shopping and see whether a woman that YOU find attractive will give you the same signals I got from the woman that gave it to me.

You can't even get those kind of signals from women that you find attractive, yet you have the nerve shiit on women that give it to me?

Foh.

And btw..

Vivica Fox, Elise Oneal, Tichina Arnold, Lisa Raye, Garcelle Beauvais.

To name a few (Google them).

All 50+ year old women who are still looked upon as beautiful in the Black community, and will give any young ass 20-30 something year old women a run for their money in the bedroom, and outside the bedroom.

And lastly, my wife is 58 and she ALWAYS gets/got compliments on her looks (by other women) and her dress attire...and it has been that way since I met her when she was 45 years old.

So miss me with that bullshiit.
 
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