Say your wife cheated, had another c0ck or two in her pvssy, would you want her to tell you and GTFO, or keep it quiet? If so, would you want to sleep with the fvckin ho after some chump(s) dumped a load in there?
It's apples and oranges. Yes, men would want to know if their woman cheated. It's biological, and designed to make sure you are not raising someone else's kid. That "moral" has existed for as long as there have been people, long before humans had developed a sense of right and wrong. You don't have much of a choice except to feel that way.
But men are not women. Turn the tables, and a man cheating does nothing to threaten the raising and nurturing of a woman's children, which is her biological reason for existence. I think that's why women really don't want to know. Just because we as men cannot understand it and feel similarly, that does not make it any less true.
Women fear cheating not because their property has been tainted, but because it might make you leave them. Staying together as a couple is another biological imperative that women are conditioned to pursue. Getting dumped, at least for a million years or so, often meant the death of the woman and even worse her children. Tell a woman that you've cheated, and all of those evolutionary mechanisms will start working against you. She might leave you, but more likely she would stay with you and dedicate herself to making your life miserable, even if she was only doing it subconsciously.