Extra Help

[Athens]

Whats up guys, I really like the community here. I've been reading around this part of the forum and the DJ Bible and it's really helping me out.

Well to get to the point, there's this girl I've been eyeing for about a month now. We never talked in school, a few times here and there. But now that school's over, we've been talking a little more. So I consider this a clean slate and I don't wanna screw it up. She just asked me for my IM, wants to hang out, and because I play guitar in a band she "wants be to be my groupie" as she said. So in anticipation of this increased talking in person and online and hanging out, I just wanted to ask for some extra advice on how not to be caught in the friend zone while making her interested. Plus she has a boyfriend too, so I don't want any trouble from him but I wanna get a head start.

So any tips on how to get her interested considering these circumstances would be great. BTW, I've got the C+F thing going on already but any advice is good. Thanks.

 

[JonJack]

What sort of relationship do you want to start with this girl anyway? You looking at something serious, looking for some fun or looking for some action? This is important because you could always get the girl but not in the way you wanted and you probably won't be happy about it. Plus it'll be good if you could deduce how much she's into her boyfriend.

 

[Athens]

Woops, just realized this was in the wrong forum. It was supposed to be in the High School one. But anyways, I'm definitely looking to try and start a serious relationship, but I also wanna have fun. I don't just want to get action. I'm not sure about how into her boyfriend she is, but I know she likes him a lot. I don't want to steal her from this guy, but I don't want to fall into the friend zone while they go out.

 

[JonJack]

Then I suggest you keep the interaction with her sporadically. Like maybe once a week or so. But don't go all out to avoid her. If you bump into her, talk to her as usual, but try and keep it short and sweet. Just be your usual self but do not overdo anything with her. This way, she would still think of you as being fun and nice and whatever but to her you would still seem like just an acquaintance.

Then if things don't work out with her and her boyfriend, and she's looking to get hooked up with someone else, you'll probably be at the top of her list. If this is the kind of scenario you are looking for, let her come to you but also make it such that she would be thinking about you. Her thinking about you is good. Her actually talking to you everyday, seeing you everyday and doing lots of stuff together with you is bad if you don't want to get too deep into the friends zone.

 

[Athens]

So I should do things to get her interested but not overdo it right? And keep the mystery factor up? If her an her boyfriend split, how do I get her thinking about me and her coming to me?

 

[JonJack]

Yup! The best bet would be to be close but not too close to her. The mystery part is actually more of not letting the situation progress to a stage where she is spending too much time with you. Getting a girl interested in you requires you to let her know who you are (what you like, what you do, your quirks, the people you hang with) but not allowing her to be a constant part of it.

If she would to split with her boyfriend, she should naturally think about you if you've been keeping her interest just right. It's like she thinks about you because she feels nice thinking about you and not because it is only natural or programmed in her mind to think about you (i.e. a friend). I'm sure you'll bump into each other in school and that would be the time when she would show her interest in you if she's looking to get into another relationship. You could bring the subject up with careful tact and let her take it from there. Don't come across as being aggressive but just being curious.

Disclaimer though. This is not a full proof method. She could always be one of the odd girls that tend to only think about and get together with the guys that shower her with too much attention. This sort of relationship do not last very long, but if all you want is to get together with her, then you've got to play it her way. But if you're looking to stand out, then all you can do is play it right and hope that her interest does get sparked.