Guys when ever it comes to approaching hot gurls or looking at them in their eyes or even the simple fact that there looking at me. When im on the bus or train and there sitting opposite me, I get nervous. I know its a low self confidence problem, but i realli dont have any control over my nerves. I JUST WISH MY NERVES would go away. I woudl SO rock, with gurls then. I mean then all the stupid questions like "oh what do i say now?" or "how can i make her laugh." Would go away. I would just be clam like the surface of a lake when there is very little wind. I feel like there is always a struggle inside me, and that one side is telling me to stand up and be proud while the other side is the hell of insecurity. What do i do? Im so lost. I want to remain calm around girls and remove that fear. My body precieves beautiful woman as a threat to me, bcuz in the past i was made alot of fun of by gurls, so now my body tries to avoid sexy gurls. I want to get rid of this stupid conditioning my body has formed. thx guys. any advice or anyone ever been in my situation.
"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Expunging Fear
- Thread starter kk2004
- Start date
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Carpe_Diem
Don Juan
sometimes thinking too much, can be a bad thing. figure out what makes you doubt yourself and work on them. One at a time. And until then. 'Fake it til you make it'.
well
Well the first thing I know that makes me dought myself is my physical shape. Im okay im 140 5'11 but im skinny and i want to build muscle. So thats one. Two is that I JUST dont feel good about myself, i was CONSTANTLY made fun of as a youngster, now that bad feling remains, im trying to get it out. I just want to feel good about myself. Im not depressed but still I need to hear good things about myself to build up my self esteem.
I think my shape, my self esteem need working, my self view. I gotta learn to love myself.
Well the first thing I know that makes me dought myself is my physical shape. Im okay im 140 5'11 but im skinny and i want to build muscle. So thats one. Two is that I JUST dont feel good about myself, i was CONSTANTLY made fun of as a youngster, now that bad feling remains, im trying to get it out. I just want to feel good about myself. Im not depressed but still I need to hear good things about myself to build up my self esteem.
I think my shape, my self esteem need working, my self view. I gotta learn to love myself.
yes
oh def, the bullying messed me up good, but hey everyone has to carry a cross, i just want it to go away, that negative feeling. The only reason i dont approach gurls is cuz i feel shi*ty about myself thats cuz i have a low self esteem. Sometimes when i drink it all goes out the window and i suprise myself on how fun loving and happy i become its crzy. Well i just am trying to find a way to fight though all the negativity i have but its like its a part of me and i cant seperate myself. I can tell myself I am good as the other person I am the prize but I never feel it. Then when i try some substance like weed or liqour, (once in a blue moon) it just get filled with postive self thoughts and I REALLI do feel good. I know this is a potential hazard for addiction, but i have my dreams of becoming a lawyer and successful so that keeps me out. Im lost and Ive tried everything and my Parents have sent so many hours ttrying to encourage me but i still feel quite bad and low. Thats why im looking for something to bring myself up. I need some tools.
oh def, the bullying messed me up good, but hey everyone has to carry a cross, i just want it to go away, that negative feeling. The only reason i dont approach gurls is cuz i feel shi*ty about myself thats cuz i have a low self esteem. Sometimes when i drink it all goes out the window and i suprise myself on how fun loving and happy i become its crzy. Well i just am trying to find a way to fight though all the negativity i have but its like its a part of me and i cant seperate myself. I can tell myself I am good as the other person I am the prize but I never feel it. Then when i try some substance like weed or liqour, (once in a blue moon) it just get filled with postive self thoughts and I REALLI do feel good. I know this is a potential hazard for addiction, but i have my dreams of becoming a lawyer and successful so that keeps me out. Im lost and Ive tried everything and my Parents have sent so many hours ttrying to encourage me but i still feel quite bad and low. Thats why im looking for something to bring myself up. I need some tools.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
seroph
Don Juan
hey man.
i'm about 140 and 5'11" also (skinny). so i feel ya, man. I feel you. And I hear ya when u say alcohol helps (i never tried weed). and bullying is a bastard. i was briefly bullied in elementary school. lol.
self confidence.. think of something you're good at. you do well in school? play the guitar well? vale dictorian? job promotion? you're cute? i dunno. think of something that makes you unique. and then capitalize on it. make that one of your sources of confidence.
* start walking with purpose, with ur back straight and ur shoulders back * sometimes if your body looks confident, u start feeling it too. (remember i have the same body stats as you)
if you're into lookin good.. get some new clothes. banana republic or freakin marshalls/jc penny/etc they got some good deals there. new shoes. lol.
a little bit of inner work and a little bit of outer work and you'll be on your way to a more confident you. alcohol and weed... they're quick "fixes".. but they dont last. but u knew that already.
-JP
i'm about 140 and 5'11" also (skinny). so i feel ya, man. I feel you. And I hear ya when u say alcohol helps (i never tried weed). and bullying is a bastard. i was briefly bullied in elementary school. lol.
self confidence.. think of something you're good at. you do well in school? play the guitar well? vale dictorian? job promotion? you're cute? i dunno. think of something that makes you unique. and then capitalize on it. make that one of your sources of confidence.
* start walking with purpose, with ur back straight and ur shoulders back * sometimes if your body looks confident, u start feeling it too. (remember i have the same body stats as you)
if you're into lookin good.. get some new clothes. banana republic or freakin marshalls/jc penny/etc they got some good deals there. new shoes. lol.
a little bit of inner work and a little bit of outer work and you'll be on your way to a more confident you. alcohol and weed... they're quick "fixes".. but they dont last. but u knew that already.
-JP
So pimp its scary
Master Don Juan
Feel the fear and do it anyway.
The longer that you hide from your fear the more intense it gets. That's why the 3sec rule was developed... as soon as the opportunity arises you take that first step within 3 seconds.
The longer that you hide from your fear the more intense it gets. That's why the 3sec rule was developed... as soon as the opportunity arises you take that first step within 3 seconds.