"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Exploring options when together for 12 years?

T

ThisNThat

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There's this woman I met, never married, no kids...age 40...and has been with the same man for 12 years. The reason they never married was because "it's complicated" and I asked her if she had ever considered exploring her options.

She said yes she has, but...that's something she'd like to talk about in person...not online. I asked her if I'd be okay if we could meet up, and she said, "Sure, whenever a group event is available that she can go to or wherever she is set up at work, I can come see her, but since I'm involved with someone and not looking...I'd prefer to keep it just like that."

Is there ever snagging a woman away from a stale relationship that has lasted THAT long? (12 years)

Not that I'm recommending cheating or anything, but I've heard stories currently married men had stolen their future wives from boyfriends..and it worked.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Glassguy

Glassguy

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No.

You show interest and she will stay with him. You're not the first person who has caught her eye if she has been unhappily with him for 12 years.

Read "What to do if she has a bf" at the top of the forum page. Its good info. Make your intentions know to her and then be prepared to walk. At that point she can either start to follow you and get out of the relationship of stay miserable. Either way you shouldnt care because she is in fact with someone.

Easy fix- go find someone single.
 
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