Explaining yourself for responding late

[Lostsoul85]

I think i made a minor mistake with a woman i have been on 4 dates with in my last text.

We had a nice text conversation earlier in the day(yesterday) and 3 hour later she sends me this

Her:Are you fan of Etta james.This was around 7pm last night

I send this 5 hours later because i was out and left my phone at the house.
Me:I been out all evening and left my phone at the house:-(umm i personally haven't listened to her but i heard she was good.why?
*was really good(although i never heard the woman i just made this up and 20 mins later looked her up and found out she isn't alive)

Anyways i sent that message at midnight.Next time i won't explain myself for replying late.Today,while i was at work i mistakenly butt dialed her with my phone and my pocket and she probably thought i was reaching out to her.She hasn't call me back.Is it more likely because of the text or because she is busy?Is this a dealbreaker?

 

[El Payaso]

NEVER, EVER explain why you replied late to a woman. NEVER EVER. Unless she asks and even then you still don't have to.

 

[Dgwizdal]

Your an AFC and just conveyed that you're too available and too interested by apologizing whether you had your phone or not. Cut the frowny face crap. Stop having long text conversations and don't supplicate on somethin you know nothing about.

Make her wonder. Make that hamster spin. Don't contact until she does again and delay the breif followup by 2 hrs again to correct your mistake.

You've been on a few dates - there is more attraction to be built.

 

[May_Day]

i mistakenly butt dialed her with my phone and my pocket

I've never done this in my life. 4 dates? How far have you gotten with her?

Never say the word "sorry", it's like you are trying to apoligize. Never explain anything to why you couldn't answer the phone or text. Just continue on at your leisure when you have the time. Explaining yourself shows you to be a weaker man. Being busy and having a life is what you should be doing. Your life doesn't revolve around other people all the time. Pick up your conversation where it left off when you want.

 

[TheCWord]

sometimes my GF is late replying as am I, for a valid reason. We usually start our next text "sorry, went to be bed early" or was in the shower, or in class, or tied up at wok, etc.


Gives a polite courteous reason and assures the other person we weren't playing games.

I wouldn't worry about it.

I agree with Mauser when the girl in question is your girlfriend or wife. Yes, even in LTRs you should keep some mystery and not apologize too much but it must be balanced with a healthy dose of respect and making her feel reasonably secure in the relationship.

And yes, respect applies even in the dating stage but she's got to be chasing you. The second she catches a hint of you grovelling or worrying what she thinks of you, she'll lose attraction.

Apologizing for not getting back to her fast enough is something she earns down the line, after she's chased you and won the LTR by being an awesome girl.

I'd be more concerned about that pleasant little text conversation you two were having earlier in the day. Don't be too available, man! Talk on your dates. Use texts for setting up dates. Recalibrate if and when you decide to go LTR with her.

 

[gravityeyelids]

Never apologize to a women unless you REALLY REALLY made a mistake. Like crashed her car or hit her or

And i make it a point to wait hours and hours before responding to a girl, unless it's urgent (at least until we're sleeping together). The ONLY reasons you need to explain (and this is ONLY if she calls you out on it) are "I was busy" or "I hate texting, i don't always have my phone near me."

 

[Lostsoul85]

....

 

[Lostsoul85]

thanks for the reply here guys

 

[adam225]

NEVER, EVER explain why you replied late to a woman. NEVER EVER. Unless she asks and even then you still don't have to.

I agree to an extent - it's more situation dependent though. There's a difference between being polite and being a wiped fag.

OP, the fact that you're even analysing this puts you more on the "wipped fag" side of things. STOP CARING SO MUCH ABOUT HER OVERALL PERCEPTION OF YOU. Put yourself first, but don't be a d1ck about it. That all what you have to do...

 

[Lostsoul85]

Hey guys i think that the reason she hasn't contacted me may have been confused with the pocket dial i sent her the day after that text I sent...i think but Im no sure since I haven't heard from her since Monday
I was thinking of sending her this."hey sorry for the pocket dial earlier in the week.Hope you had a great week".She is a mature woman 37 and i don't want to play games what do you guys think?If a woman is interested in you wouldn't she call or text you letting you know that you called her and all she heard is silence?

Here is the thing I texted her on Monday two days after our date and we had a great convo over text and then she didn't reply after my last text above.If a woman decides she is done with you then she would have never replied to my initial text at the begginng of that conversation right?
*she has spent over 100 dollars on the dates
*she does have te upperhand because she cuts the makeouta short/ends them first.

 

[VladPatton]

Don't explain anything. At the same time, send texts at decent times, like before midnight. When something is weird through texts, stop immediately, call, or ignore them for the rest of the day and start over fresh the next day. Once again, no need for explanations.

In the first stages, it's better for her to be uncertain than to feel that you're always available with nothing going on, and ready to jump for her like a hungry puppy.

 

[Lostsoul85]

Yeah explanation isn't necessary

 

[Lostsoul85]

Guys let me ask you an HONEST question about female logic if a woman has some interest in you and you accidentally butt dial her and she either gets the missed call or hears nothing on the phone if she has some INTEREST she will call back right?

 

[the_stig]

Guys let me ask you an HONEST question about female logic if a woman has some interest in you and you accidentally butt dial her and she either gets the missed call or hears nothing on the phone if she has some INTEREST she will call back right?

Theoretically yes.. but a phenomenon I've been noticing the past few years, if you call a woman too soon, they interpret it as "creepy". Had a few girls with seemingly high interest levels that I simply never heard from again after attempting to call versus text. What "too soon is" I don't know, I just know not to call until there's been substantial rapport built or I'm returning their calls.

 

[TheCWord]

Guys let me ask you an HONEST question about female logic if a woman has some interest in you and you accidentally butt dial her and she either gets the missed call or hears nothing on the phone if she has some INTEREST she will call back right?

If she doesn't call you back it doesn't mean she has no interest, just lower interest.

I think you need to get your hamster off the wheel, though. Leave the analyzing to the females.

 

[Lostsoul85]

So in situations were a woman hasn't return your 1 missed call in a week and she has LOWER interest but not NO interest.Can you disappear for 2-3 weeks and try to setup a meetup and very slowly try to build attraction again?I mean this not just a fbuddy but someone i want a LTR with.
@Cword I have disappeared for a week after she didn't return my pocket dial and didn't chase so I understand this woman has less interest than before but not no interest.I know if i wait a little longer and send a hope all is well you text she will reply.

 

[TheCWord]

So in situations were a woman hasn't return your 1 missed call in a week and she has LOWER interest but not NO interest.Can you disappear for 2-3 weeks and try to setup a meetup and very slowly try to build attraction again?I mean this not just a fbuddy but someone i want a LTR with.
@Cword I have disappeared for a week after she didn't return my pocket dial and didn't chase so I understand this woman has less interest than before but not no interest.I know if i wait a little longer and send a hope all is well you text she will reply.

I just think you're in the danger zone of caring way more than her. When you finally do hit her up in a week or two and she agrees to meet up with you, do you have confidence in your ability to play it cool? Just from the posts I'm reading, I have my doubts.

 

[Lostsoul85]

Thanks for the reply guys

 

[rascal99v]

Dude, a man of power doesn't explain anything. He shows he is in control with his actions. Weak men are always explaining because of their insecurities. You are doing nothing but explaining. That's why this chick lost interest. It's none of her business to as why you're not texting her. Never tell her why you aren't texting her. From now on, do what you want without explaining yourself. Women respect men who are comfortable in their own skin. You are uncomfortable about a "butt dial" you made.

You are over analyzing and over thinking this. Do you think this chick is stewing over your missed call? No, in fact she hasn't even gotten back in touch with you. Stop spending your time worrying over some chick with no interest. Spend your time doing something useful, like banging chicks who want you.

I think i made a minor mistake with a woman i have been on 4 dates with in my last text.

After 4 dates you should be close to or have already gotten laid. She already knows by now if she is attracted you.

We had a nice text conversation earlier in the day(yesterday) and 3 hour later she sends me this

Her:Are you fan of Etta james.This was around 7pm last night

I send this 5 hours later because i was out and left my phone at the house.
Me:I been out all evening and left my phone at the house:-(umm i personally haven't listened to her but i heard she was good.why?
*was really good(although i never heard the woman i just made this up and 20 mins later looked her up and found out she isn't alive)

This is your own fault for explaining. Text these chicks when you want. This is the whole point of texting. You do fit for your own needs. Also, make sure you know who the person is that you're talking about.

Anyways i sent that message at midnight.Next time i won't explain myself for replying late.Today,while i was at work i mistakenly butt dialed her with my phone and my pocket and she probably thought i was reaching out to her.She hasn't call me back.Is it more likely because of the text or because she is busy?Is this a dealbreaker?

Never send texts that late to a chick you haven't fvcked. Late night texts are reserved for booty calls. Not explaining that you let your phone at home. How do you butt dial someone?

Hey guys i think that the reason she hasn't contacted me may have been confused with the pocket dial i sent her the day after that text I sent...i think but Im no sure since I haven't heard from her since Monday
I was thinking of sending her this."hey sorry for the pocket dial earlier in the week.Hope you had a great week".She is a mature woman 37 and i don't want to play games what do you guys think?If a woman is interested in you wouldn't she call or text you letting you know that you called her and all she heard is silence?

Why do you want to apologize and keep explaining yourself? That type of behavior repels women. Who cares the reason why the call was made. She doesn't need to know the reason why you called. She wasn't even curious to know why you called her. That shows she has no interest. Is this chick explaining to you why she isn't calling you? No. So, why are you doing that with her?

So in situations were a woman hasn't return your 1 missed call in a week and she has LOWER interest but not NO interest.Can you disappear for 2-3 weeks and try to setup a meetup and very slowly try to build attraction again?I mean this not just a fbuddy but someone i want a LTR with.
@Cword I have disappeared for a week after she didn't return my pocket dial and didn't chase so I understand this woman has less interest than before but not no interest.I know if i wait a little longer and send a hope all is well you text she will reply.

If she has no interest, disappearing for a week won't spike any new interest. She is showing you she isn't interested. You're thinking way too much about this. I'm against this, but to give you piece of mind, call her up tomorrow and see what happens. This way you will know for sure and can move on.

 

[Lostsoul85]

Cword says it not that they have no interest but less interest.If this was a woman that I just want a fwb with I understand just spin the hamster but I actually like this woman which is why I am thinking to disappear and then reappear.