Explain wat exactly goes through your mind when u try to approach a girl.

[YoungSir4sho]

I know like many of you are sick of rejection and approach anxiety. Now I have done through my lifetime probably 50 cold approaches. But still it means nothing.

You know when you see a girl in the train station and she looks at you. U feel like talking but then in the back of your mind is what if she says no. Or makes fun of you then every1 in the train is looking at you.

1st I don't care wat any1 says, if im on another side n I go up to a girl sumwh7ere else in the train. Ppl look at u n see wat is he doin. N either laughs, or is in amazement in how did u pull that off.


Another example. It feels like I can take bad jobs or go through bad times with the family. Maybe see ppl dying,gunshots. Almost hit by a car or any life threatning thing. You feel like yea I can take on anything. But when it comes to approaching a real good looking girl or girls with their friends then all of a sudden its the end of the world. Isn't that crazy guys???



Or wat about that girl that u see outside in the park n u want to talk but in your mind feel like she is gonna reject you. Then come to find out some other dude tries to talk to her n gets the number. I know a lot of us has been through n it sucks. We keep thinkin man if I would've talked to her that would have been getting her number instead of him... missed opprotunity

Well im gonna tell you this. Im tired of all of the miss opprotunities. Im learning that it takes hard work but hard work pays off. N yea I also want to work on my life, my basketball career n other things.

But lets get serious ppl, we all would like to have that special girl 1 day or even a lot of girls. Don't say man forget them till later? Y wait for later. Lets get them now and still work on our careers and goals.

Lets list all of the rejection state of mind and y do we feel this. Wat goes in your mind when u want to talk but feel like u have nothing to say. Lets beat this for real.

I know its hard, but lets just get rejected cuz we all have to go through it. Yea it sucks believe me. Might hurt our pride or ego for a bit. But im going to tell you this. If we don't talk and at least try. We gonna be stuck with the same bs 5years fropem nwo and so on until we are old and too late. Im not gonna be 40 years old regretting that I should have took risks. im gonna learn and take action

 

[Ronnie Poleman]

Depends where

I totally see what you're getting at, I used to have a fear of rejection,but nowadays I'm reluctant to approach girls in public places because I don't want to look like a creep, for example if you're on the subway and start spitting your game there, to someone you never met before, it would look creepy, no matter how hard you tried not to be like a stalker. Plus there's a good chance she's very busy and has to get somewhere real quick, guys would be the last thing on her mind, right?

There's a time and place for everything. I'm comfortable approaching girls at a bar, a club, a party, a coffee shop, the gym, college (when I start in a few days!), but not on the subway,the buses etc...or in the church lol

With a missed opportunity, what mainly goes through my mind is "Is this the right place or the right time for this?" and "Does she look like she wants some?" If a woman's walking on the street with a pissed off look on her face, that tells you "It's that time of the month again, do not bother me, I'm not in the mood now". Also what runs through my mind is "What should I say as a good opener that doesn't make me look like an A-hole?". Sometimes by the time I think of a good one, the opportunity goes. The speed will come with practice though.

 

[Snow Plowman]

I'm not 100% what exactly erradicated all AA and fear of rejection in me but here are all my thoughts and ways I've seen it...

Find out who you are...get that deep idenity level change. Who are you, what are your values, what do you want out of life, what kind of women do you deserve, what do you value in women, etc. You need to fully realize who you are...

Live in your own reality...this is essential because women want to see your world. Men take action and women react, and when your in your own reality you an create all sorts of dynamics all it takes is an unwavering belief

You should realize your choosen by all women, your going around giving the women the chance to speak to you. She wants to see what your about. There is no reason to be scared.

She is human...realize a woman does things to look hot. She can smell funny, she vomits, farts, bleeds, etc. No need to put her on a pedestal and act like she's a goddess.

Stop gving a fuk what anyone thinks, live in your own world. Stop caring about both the good and bad...You shouldn't care how she reacts at all. You shouldn't be caring about rejection or unresponsiveness.

ASSUME ASSUME ASSUME!!! Always believe 100% that it will open and if your wrong just be indifferent and calibrate (plow) This means you can always commit to a belief because even if your wrong it doesn't matter.

Have STANDARDS...The reason you get AA is because your only standard/values you have about women is there looks. So basically you'll have sex with any hot woman...You must have standards, for me personally I'm approaching because something intrigued me to want to find out more about her. She must love food, she must be positive, creative, and enjoy vibing. There are tons of stuff I value in women and I don't know he girl she could be a needy stalker...

Expand the party...you should be living in your own world so you create your own party. Basically when you open a chick your inviting her into your world...EXPANDING THE PARTY...women want to be let into the party...

 

[macallik]

if Im having a great day, I don't even think about it most times, I just approach or say the 1st thing that comes to mind

The other times it usually goes something like this

Hey check out that cute girl. She looks like my type, why don't I approach... Because well she could reject me.. I should go in anyways... well the 3 second rule is out of the window now... but that is only for rookies who don't approach right?? Whatever I gotta get that approach in... The first one is the hardest. Alright I'm just gonna go in... Whoooaaa my feeet are moving towards her already, I wasn't actually ready to go in RIGHT now!. What if I say something stupid? Well I made eye contact and I'm walking towards her so the stupidest thing I can do now is not approach... What am I gonna say though? Aaaahhhhhhhh!!!

Macallik to cute girl: er.... hello

 

[Miguel]

Try aproaching a girl? TRY? either you do, or do not... THERE IS NO TRY. (lol)

Guys, aproach anxiety is normal, infact if you didn't haven, then it would probably be something to worry about. (Cause either you're gaming WAY to much or you're nuts.) But seriously, I got a question, do you honestly think that the girl/person/ANYONE you aproach is going to feel upset by you? No! I used to get really REALLY stressed when I saw a pretty girl,(not even talk to her.) like I mean like grab the ground, pray to god and hope to survive. My mind used to work like this... (Sorry mal, I liked ur idea.)

By miguels mind
OH **** GIRL! oh noes she's looking at me! What do I do, I'll look like a fool! I Don't want to die AHHH!!! Three second, oh no, AHHHH!!! FAILURE, FAILURE! *EXPLOSION* OH GOD HELP ME! Alright, calm down, you can aproach, one foot at a time… walk towards her, walk… walk…. ****! Turn away there’s a guy with her! Oh it’s just a friend, now I look werid… Oh crap, I missed it. Sigh, I never get women.

Miguel to girl: *Avoid, shift away… AKWARDNESS, and Miguel leaves.*

I kid you not... it was just like that. Then I realized that something, when I feel like that, isn't it possible that the other person is in the same boat as me? Could they be feeling the same fear I felt? This helped alot. It made me realize that if I feel this worried knowing what I know, then compaired to the other person I'm 100% better off. Now a days, I still get the stress, But I can cope knowing that. When my mine goes damn, I just relax, and remember my little rule. I hoping to be able to get up to 100 aproaches in a day soon… Heck as I wrote this I actually chatted with the girl next to me in the library. (It went average, no number but she asked my name.)

 

[YoungSir4sho]

That all sounds real good snowplow but its easier said then done. Yes you are right but still it definetly takes some practice and experience.

To miguel n others have a point too. Man im at work right now n I took the bus to work today. This girl came in walking. Im already in the back. She looks at me fo a quick 5seconds then sits somewhere else. In my mind im thinking should I move a lil bit n sit next to her n approach. Then im thinking forget it cuz its late n I have to get up in like 2stops. So I didn't approach. Man another missed opprutunity n im really getting tired of it.

Yea I see wat u talkin about its better to approach at clubs n bars n clubs. But like snowman n others said. There's a level where u can talk to girls n approach anywhere. That's the level I want to attain consistently. In order to do that I have to fight my fears. Its kind of like a raging demon. The crazy thing is that when im actually talking to girls im real smooth wit it. My problem is jus appraching all of the pretty girls especially in groups.

We gonna have to find a solution to this sooner or later. Yea I know its about action and we say that we gonna do wat it takes to get them. Then all of a sudden when it really goes down we back away n come up wit some bs excuse in our head to excuse us from not talking. Lol crazy

 

[Snow Plowman]

What you can do is hit the indifference threshold...me and my old wing calls this "Bootcamp Style". This is by far one of the most fun drills ever. What you do is...

You approach NON STOP, going from one set to the next without stop...you can't care what anyone thinks at all. Just keep approaching and stay in set. After awhile you will hit this moment where approaching doesn't even matter and that's when you can start internalizing things...

Realize that it's ok to approach anywhere at anytime that way it gets to the point where you don't even think about it. Also it gets to the point where you assume that the set will open.

All the stuff I mentioned is easier said than done...it's all about those reference points and doing something until it's ingrained into who you are. I usually consciously plug things into my reality...but that's because I love this stuff so much.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

I just focus on the girl. Think of a few openers and start up the conversation. Or if there is something interesting on her or near her I'll mention something about that. It's really pretty simple and this should be just done naturally by, starting a simple convo.