explain to me "the 1 who cares less wins"

[BangBus]

Is this a powerfool tool to use on ladies? How do i use dis?
R they attracted to the 1 who care less wins/

discuss pleease

 

[noseguard20]

I wouldn't say the person who cares less wins. I would be more specific and say the person who cares less about the outcome will have an easier time dealing with the opposite sex because he will be able to relax and be calm, which is key to success at anything.

 

[DJ Alejandro]

its a question of detachment. its not as if you care less per se, but rather that you have more interesting things to do than wait on her and be her puppy dog servant.

 

[So pimp its scary]

That comes from the fact that whoever is least interested in the success of the relationship has the power, because they can easily make the other person jump through hoops for them and all... sometimes it gets to the point where the other person becomes like a marionette and is controlled by the person who isn't as interested becuase they will put that much more effort into keeping the relationship alive.

hopefully that makes sense

 

[DJ Alejandro]

Originally posted by So pimp its scary
That comes from the fact that whoever is least interested in the success of the relationship has the power, because they can easily make the other person jump through hoops for them and all... sometimes it gets to the point where the other person becomes like a marionette and is controlled by the person who isn't as interested becuase they will put that much more effort into keeping the relationship alive.

hopefully that makes sense

this is the answer you're looking for. read it over. again and again. and AGAIN.

 

[Zircon]

One way road to One-itis... not worth it. But then again you dfon't believe it till you've done it.

 

[jbbrain]

That's why i never fully bought into the "one who cares less wins" argument.

It never brings up the possibility of a mutual "average-to-below average" interest level.

Her IL in you is only 65%...yours in her is hovering around 60%..

Does this automatically presuppose more "power" (ie getting more from the other person because he/she wants to make the relationship work) OR does this tell us of a relationship that should ceast to exist?

All you need to worry about (scratch that word 'worry')...ahem

All you need to be concerned with is her having strong emotional feelings for you.

The rest is up in the air.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by BangBus
Is this a powerfool tool to use on ladies? How do i use dis?
R they attracted to the 1 who care less wins/

discuss pleease

*clutches nervously at sledgehammer*

Must......resist.....urge.......to......smash.....

 

[jbbrain]

That's why i never fully bought into the "one who cares less wins" argument.

It never brings up the possibility of a mutual "average-to-below average" interest level.

Her IL in you is only 65%...yours in her is hovering around 60%..

Does this automatically presuppose more "power" (ie getting more from the other person because he/she wants to make the relationship work) OR does this tell us of a relationship that should ceast to exist?

All you need to worry about (scratch that word 'worry')...ahem

All you need to be concerned with is her having strong emotional feelings for you.

The rest is up in the air.

 

[CLOONEY]

This applies when u are in a LTR. At the start, u shouldnt care about a girl too much, if you do u need to really get out there more.

Once u r in a relationship, the more u care, the less they will. It just seems to happen like this. U can PRETEND to not care, but they will see straight through it. A girl wants a guy who she knows loves her, but also does not go over the top with it. The more u show u have a life and honestly show her that if she leaves u, u have plenty of opportunities with her or without her, not just with girls but in life in general, the more she will be attatched to you.

Remember though guys, interest level can go up and down dramatically, depending on circumstances and the womans crazy mindset. Unlike guys, girls seem to be able to loose interest level overnight, and then a week later regain it again. Unstable hos!

 

[NewMan]

It's not about caring less.... Because we should all care (of course there are chicks you will fvck just to get laid....)

I would rather say it's about emotional strength.

You've got to be prepared to walk away at a moments notice. You may care about her - caring about a girl who, let's say, you've spent 2 yrs with is natural. To hurt when you walk away is natural. To feel lonely etc is natural. But you still must walk away and not look back.

That's the difference.

An AFC will not do that.

An emotionally weak person will not do that.

Someone could view this action and say that you don't care - but thats wrong. You do care, you just know better.

You rchick must know this about you - know that you will not put up with an BS - and that you will walk away in a fvcking minute should she fvck up.

That's power.

 

[NatureGuy]

Exactly, and well put NewMan !

 

[noseguard20]

Newman, you made a good point. But when pursuing a girl, you're gonna have to put up with some **** and be cool about it. In a relationship, if she steps out of line, let her know!! But when you're pursuing, you have to remain calm. If you're pursuing and you get rid of her because her initial interest in not Disneyworld high, then you're not being realistic and you don't get the girl. As far as emotionally weak goes, come on man!!! we all know we NEED a women, otherwise we wouldn't be on this website.

 

[DJ_Dork]

if the girl you're with is not putting her shared responsibilities of a relationship (such as helping out the guy, or suggesting dating ideas) and making you do all the work, all the driving, all the paying.. you are in a win/lose relationship. think about it.

you want to be in a win/win situation. sometimes you gotta show you like her a lot.. and if she doesn't return the favor..repeatedly (twice-thrice) then do what some of the other guys in the thread stated, move along.

 

[NewMan]

Newman, you made a good point. But when pursuing a girl, you're gonna have to put up with some **** and be cool about it. In a relationship, if she steps out of line, let her know!! But when you're pursuing, you have to remain calm. If you're pursuing and you get rid of her because her initial interest in not Disneyworld high, then you're not being realistic and you don't get the girl. As far as emotionally weak goes, come on man!!! we all know we NEED a women, otherwise we wouldn't be on this website.

Absolutely.

I'm saying that if she farts or if she has a bad day you walk out the door.....

I'm not saying that your not going to have regular issues as any LTR couple would - or that your both going to have to work on things.

I'm also not saying that your not going to show her that you dig her and want to be with her. No you are.

But - she also needs to know that your not going to put up with sh#t. you'll put up with indiosyncracies for sure - but if the sex stops - if she's starts nagging you to the nth degree - if she's riding your a## about some of your hobbies or that you like to go out with the guy's every now and again - then she needs to know that your not going to put up with that.


Everyone has their own tollerance - everyone has their own list of "things" they are looking for in a woman. Some guys may be happy not going our for drinks with their buddies - some guys want to go out every Friday with the guys - Only you can decide what your willing to put up with and do.


But whatever that tollerance level is - she needs to know when she's hitting it - and she needs to know that your going to walk.

Emotional strength.

No BS.

 

[So pimp its scary]

Originally posted by jbbrain
That's why i never fully bought into the "one who cares less wins" argument.

It never brings up the possibility of a mutual "average-to-below average" interest level.

Her IL in you is only 65%...yours in her is hovering around 60%..

Does this automatically presuppose more "power" (ie getting more from the other person because he/she wants to make the relationship work) OR does this tell us of a relationship that should ceast to exist?

Now that we have some numbers, I can give an example.

Lets just say that her IL is 65%, and yours is modestly lower 60%... which is difficult to measure such as this.

All this means is that you go out on dates together, but the relationship is pretty close to 50-50, you both have interest in pursuing. However, because HER interest is higher, you would have an easier time convincing her to go on dates where YOU want to go.

Let's use a drastic example : Her IL = 100% yours = 60%. This would probably occur after a month or so of the relationship that you were a little iffy about starting. You like her, but there are alot of things about her that you don't like.

Now, with her liking everything about you... you could 'use' her... get her to clean for you, go on dates where you want to go, if you express that you are unhappy she will do what it takes to change that... she will make sure that your interest in her stays as high as possible (by becoming AFC) at this point you have all the power because your emotional investment is pretty low (ie, you would trade her up without too much loss).

Now, Here is the dangerous BUT part. BUT if you start treating her badly or taking advantage of her, she might notice and her IL might start to drop, and you might not notice the drop and continue, then next thing you know she will get up and leave you with your 60% interest and you will be burned.

but, like someone pointed out. This is more a relationship issue then an issue with someone that you've just been on a date or 2 with.

 

[Caveman]

Originally posted by noseguard20
we all know we NEED a women, otherwise we wouldn't be on this website.

You don't NEED shyt! You THINK you need women so you come to this board. This is where you're supposed to find out you don't NEED ANYTHING..

 

[Shot Callin]

Kill that Desperation

Kill that Desperation!

Check out the above link by POOK - it's gold.

In this case he is talking about coming off as too desperate, showing way too much interest. For instance lets say you meet a chick at a party and get her number. Immediately the next day you call her at 10:00 am and she doesn't pick up. So you call her again at 4 and then 8. You didn't leave a message until the third call, but guess what she had called ID. You just came off looking like a psycho.

This is one way that too much interest, at least at the beginning is going to make you look weird.

 

[noseguard20]

Originally posted by Caveman
You don't NEED shyt! You THINK you need women so you come to this board. This is where you're supposed to find out you don't NEED ANYTHING..

Well, since you have it all figured out, why are you posting?

 

[Caveman]

I learned a lot from this site, and in a foolish attempt to 'give back', I post every now and then. But please... carry on the discussion.. I should have mentioned this was an off-post comment. Just couldn't help myself.