Experts - help a beginner here, ty

[sighsigh]

So I saw a girl I hadn't seen in a long time, although I didn't have the guts to ask for her number on the spot.

So afterwards, I messaged her on Facebook, and said something like "cool seeing you after all this time. Give me your phone number and we'll hang out sometime." She saw the message half an hour later and didn't respond, which I assume means she's not interested.

Now, my question is: is it more alpha to respond in a week's time with something like:

:O
well take care ; )

or is it more alpha just to not contact her at all?

I know this is super stupid nitpicky stuff, but I'm curious just for the sake of PUA theory

 

[Johnny Alias]

You're young. Dont be hard on yourself. Even the most proficient DJ's don't always get the number/woman. They also don't let it bother them in any way shape or form because they have many plates spinning. Full detachment.

No offense but your email to her seems pretty AFC. You don't ask for the number. You don't. Not that early unless she showed signs she was clearly interested. Did she?

Also, how does she rank looks wise? How do you? Are you on the same playing field or shooting out of your league? No shame in answering this... be honest. If you're not in her league how can you get closer? GYM GYM GYM. No excuses.

You need to prove value. When you're out do you make people laugh? Are you the center of attention? Did you roll in with a couple friends or a hottie? Are you working out? Does it show?

I'll give you an example. I was on a date with a bona fide piece the other night and we went to a strip club. While there I saw another bona fide hottie and we said hello. I then went to number 2's charity event and said hey with a male friend. THEN I sent her an e-mail and she's lighting up like a christmas tree.

I have shown value. She is responding. Understand? Sending an e-mail isn't a bad thing necessarily, but asking for a number is too direct. You can make some funny banter. Carry that on for a while. Post kickass photos of you doing something cool. She may or may not respond but you shouldnt care. Develop these relationships over time. Asking for a number out of the gate reeks of desperation. It does. Women hate that.

Don't contact her. EVER. No offense but this is probably not going to happen... but as long as you've got many plates spinning YOU SHOULD NOT CARE.

 

[sighsigh]

^ Thanks for the response.

However, I think a lot of what you said seems pretty counter-intuitive to the recommendations commonly spouted on this board. A lot of the members here advocate cold approaching women who are complete strangers to them, striking up a short conversation and then asking for their number. There are many logs on this forum written by members detailing their experiences doing this.

In my case my approach was not even completely cold since I already knew the girl for a small while, she recognized me as soon as I said hello, etc. (I perhaps wasn't clear - when I said "saw her" in my OP I meant "spoke to her for a little while.") I think asking for her number when I did was appropriate - really, the thing that I did wrong was chicken out and not ask her out on the spot in-person, and instead did it over FB. Although I don't think it's the biggest deal in the world.

Tell me what you think. I agree with everything else you said, by the way, about value, gym, etc.

 

[sylvester the cat]

well i definitely wouldn't message her 'ok well take care '

that approach is flimsier than an ann summer's crotchless panty.

if she doesn't reply, just leave it. keeping looking elsewhere. always be keeping your options open and don't fall into the trap of getting attached to one girl.

 

[sighsigh]

^ Yeah nm, you're right. Saying that would look terrible. It's NC all the way.

I'm actually quite surprised though [and sad ] I actually am pretty good lucking and work out and when I talked to her I looked pretty good. I thought I got a subtle IOI from her, and I was soooo sure she was going to message back. But whatever.

I'm curious: if she's not interested is it more likely for a girl to just leave you hanging, or message back something like, "sorry, I have a bf" or "sorry, not interested" etc.

 

[Johnny Alias]

^ Thanks for the response.

However, I think a lot of what you said seems pretty counter-intuitive to the recommendations commonly spouted on this board. A lot of the members here advocate cold approaching women who are complete strangers to them, striking up a short conversation and then asking for their number. There are many logs on this forum written by members detailing their experiences doing this.

You're misunderstanding me. I meant you don't go for the number via facebook. You should have gotten it face to face that's true as other members suggest. Since you didn't you're having to rely on social networking. Asking for numbers in this fashion DOESNT WORK.

Here's what I want you to do. Make a list of all the chicks you're interested in. Update it. Read the DJ bible and make appropriate actions. If they are out of your league then get in their league! New clothes, dreams, gym. Don't be needy. Work on yourself. You're young man and you've found this site. God I wish I had when i was your age. You can change it all but you have to make the commitment and not half ass it.

The biggest thing to remember above all is that you should have enough girls lined up that you don't CARE if she writes you back or not.

 

[sylvester the cat]

^ Yeah nm, you're right. Saying that would look terrible. It's NC all the way.

I'm actually quite surprised though [and sad ] I actually am pretty good lucking and work out and when I talked to her I looked pretty good. I thought I got a subtle IOI from her, and I was soooo sure she was going to message back. But whatever.

I'm curious: if she's not interested is it more likely for a girl to just leave you hanging, or message back something like, "sorry, I have a bf" or "sorry, not interested" etc.

depends on the girl and her programming. more likely she'll just ignore you if she's not interested. if you persist that's when she might give you the 'i have a bf line'. but then again she might be trying to play it cool by not looking too eager (don't get your hopes up).

the point is, when you're at the stage where you are asking these questions, you know you care way too deep about someone you really don't know.

abort mission.

 

[abe0]

I'm curious: if she's not interested is it more likely for a girl to just leave you hanging, or message back something like, "sorry, I have a bf" or "sorry, not interested" etc.

The answer is yes....and all of the above and more. Everyone is different...they will ignore, or politely send you a message, or be rude, or mislead you....do not try to figure that one out.
Second, develop a better rapport before asking for the number....listen to what this guys are telling you rather than trying to justify your actions.
Good luck...Abe