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Experiences cold approaching a lot in smaller cities or towns


Master Don Juan
Apr 22, 2002
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I live in a smaller city in the UK (population less than 100,000, although the region surrounding the city I live in has about 3 times that).

I've been here nearly 5 years and I'm a hardcore daytime direct approacher. I have approached a LOT of girls during my time here. I'm definitely top dog in this city, and in fact I'm probably the ONLY guy doing daytime approaches here.

I'd like to start this thread to share my experiences as well as ask what your personal experiences approaching in a smaller city are - both good and bad.

I've never had anything really bad happen, but I've had a few interesting experiences to say the least.

I'd like to list a few observations:

1) When you approach a lot of girls in a smaller city or town, you WILL run into them again, either days, weeks, months or even years later, including girls who rejected you (or perhaps were kinda interested but for whatever reason the initial approach didn't work out).

This happens to me ALL THE TIME. It hasn't been an issue as I usually just blank them if I see them again and carry on my life as normal. I'm thick skinned enough not to be phased, however for guys who are weaker mentally it could make them paranoid.

How do you personally respond if you run into a girl who previously rejected you when you're out and about? Do you acknowledge them or just blank them?

2) Another thing I've noticed is that I'll frequently get girls checking me out blatantly as I'm walking down the street, and then I'll realise she is someone I've approached before. This only tells me that they were somewhat intrigued by my approach, and that they still remember me (but perhaps the approach had gone nowhere for some reason, when in fact they may have been attracted).

I don't usually reapproach these girls. What would you do in this situation?

3) I've had a few girls stop me in the street/blatantly try to get my attention either hours, weeks or months after I approached them (or one of their friends) and ask me for my number, either for themselves or their friend.

4) Nothing bad, life threatening or reputation ruining has happened to me. I've never had a girl's boyfriend, husband or parents threaten me for approaching a girl. I think girls actually respect that I had the balls to approach them, and they felt flattered to be desired, even if it didn't go anywhere, so when we run into each other again there's no animosity etc.

I have had a few odd experiences here and there, mind you. One girl stopped me in the street a few months after I'd previously approached her. I ended up giving her my number, and she turned weird and ended up trying to me via text and social media. I eventually figured out who she was with some detective work, called her out on it and make her feel stupid, before I blocked her for good.

The weird sh*t started over a little Celtic cross necklace I used to wear - nothing outlandish, just a little accessory I would wear to add to my style. I actually had a few girls compliment me on it. But this idiot sent me a text saying 'do you support the IRA?' (as in the Irish Republican Army). I was very surprised by this, and how she could misconstrue the necklace to mean that. She'd looked me up on Facebook and seen a pic of me wearing it in that too. She didn't reveal her real name and pretended to be someone else (even getting her friend to add me on Facebook). But with my own detective work I eventually found her out.

Most of the time approaching in smaller cities is fine, but this chick was just a mental case and really immature. I still see her around and it's just awkward (she works in a local supermarket, and we've crossed paths a few times since, but never said a word to each other). It turns out she's now in a relationship with a girl.

5) Being seen regularly with girls (especially different/multiple girls) by girls you're pursuing or who it didn't previously work out with works in your favour as it makes you seem more desirable to other girls.

6) Sometimes I'll approach a girl and she'll tell me I've approached her before. This is because usually I don't remember every fave, and also girls change up their style a lot (hair colour, makeup etc), and they can look almost like a completely different person. The few times this has happened have taken me by surprise; I quickly ejected to save face with something like 'actually, yeh I THOUGHT I recognised your from somewhere but I wasn't quite sure. Anyway you have a nice day!'. Or if they've changed up their style, I go 'ah yeah now you mention it - I didn't recognise you because you changed your style!'

7) Don't worry about getting a 'reputation' for being a guy who approaches girls on the street. As long as people perceive you as bold and confident and not a pathetic AFC, it is no problem and can work in your favour! My attitude is that what I'm doing is totally natural and harmless.

Anyway, hope you found this interesting and useful in some way. What have your personal experiences been for approaching in a smaller place, and how do you deal with running into chicks again etc?
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