Experienced DJ's....gotta put on the thinking cap for this one...

[LostbutFound]

Alright guys, heres one that is confusing me and contrary to my name, im friggin lost again...

I wrote a post not too long ago about a little trouble with this girl who was going through some personal sh*t...Everything turned out ok with that and she said she would open up more and she really enjoys being with me...but some trouble has come up...let me give you a little of her background before I get into it...

she went out with this one guy for like 3 years (almost got engaged) but he messed around, got caught and she tried gettin away from him...she meets my friend and jumps into it with him to get away from her ex...once that guy goes away, she realizes that she and my friend are not compatible and she breaks it off...then the next summer, she jumps into a relationship with this guy who ends up playin her and breakin her heart...

She recently was supposed to hang out with me this week but double booked it with a party she was supposed to go to for her boss at her job she started a couple months ago...so she ended up goin to it...i was a little mad because i was excited to hang out with her...anyway, she knew i was upset and I asked about what, and she went down a list, literally everything i was thinking

Basically she knows how i feel about her, and she is liking me a lot too, she mentioned boyfriend and all that...but she explained to me that she is confused...we both agreed that when we first met, we thought nothing would come out of it, but we realized that we connected very well...so now she dont know what she wants...but what she does want is to take it very slow...

Could it be because she jumped into relationships before and got screwed so shes not trying to make the same mistake???

if you need to know more, let me know, its a complicated situation with a lot more behind it...

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Lost again,

I can't find my 'thinking cap' but I found my thinking 'doo-rag', so I'll answer this anyway! I've read your prior posts and from what I read you are not a priority in her life and she seems to run over you and disrespects you at times, because you are not someone that is so romantically important to her. You knew her for a year and she went out with your friend instead of you, knowing that you liked her.

She is now 'confused' - when a woman says "I'm confused", this means she doesn't like you but she knows that you really really really like her! She feels 'pressured' by your constant and persistent pursuit or romantic interest in her over the past year.

She may like you but not enough for a relationship and you are not her first choice out of all the others...she doesn't want to say 'yes' because someone may come along in the meantime who she really likes and she will have to leave you for him, and she doesn't want to hurt and destroy you because you seem to be a 'nice; guy!!

 

[Genghis Juan]

I read your previous post about how you are confused about this girl.

You said, "she mentioned boyfriend and all that...but she explained to me that she is confused".

So this girl currently has a boyfriend if I understand you correctly. If this is the case, I would be cynical of the fact that she likes you. I would seriously consider looking for other women at this point. Make this girl your last priority.

Nevertheless:

I also really don't like the fact that she cancelled that date with you because she had to go to a boss's party; double booked and didn't realize it. Its just hard for me to fathom she could make such a mistake like that. She should know about the company party coming up, it was only a week away! Put yourself in her shoes, if you were going to schedule a date with a girl next week, wouldn't you make sure you are free that week? If there was a company party to go to, I don't think it would slip your mind when planning the date, and in the unlikely case that it did, you would reschedule immediately.

I am not sure if she is confused, like PRL said, only because she knows you like her and she doesn't like you, but doesn't want to hurt you. I think she is confused because she doesn't have a clue. If a girl is really not interested in you, she wouldn't waste her time with you UNLESS she wants you around as an emotional tampon, which may be the case for you. In that case, she is not romantically interested in you, but wants the emotional support from you that she is not getting from her BF. If she did sleep with you (I think you might have said that in the last thread), then she really is just all messed up. I would just move on, as hard as that may be. The pain you will experience from moving on will be junior to the pain you would feel if you allow this girl to continue to string you along.

Also another thing to consider is the fact that people's behavior is pretty consistant through time. If this girl is confused and cheated on him with you, or strings you along, she may string along another man while with you if she becomes "confused" again. I think you should seek a girl more stable than this; too much drama.

Thats the way I see it, if I understand your situation correctly.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

She definately doesn't like you.

Whenever a woman says "she's confused" get the hell out of there as quickly as possible. Your looking for a girl with high IL not someone who's unsure if she likes you or not.

 

[LostbutFound]

Hey guys, thanks for the responses but let me clear some things up...She doesnt have a boyfriend currently, shes been single since the last guy played her out last summer...

I never knew her before my friend went out with her...what happened was he saw her and a girl friend of ours introduced them to each other....they started dating, then I met her and we knew there was something there....she didnt choose him over me because she never met me until after she met him..

Also with the boss's party...she did invite me, but i declined because it was her boss's birthday...

shes supposively coming over tonight, shes been saying that all week....so what do you think I should say to her??? Im about to just say that i know you dont want to go out with me because you think im too nice and see what she says....obviously if she doesnt show up, shes done and over with...

what do you guys think??

 

[Life-Trainee]

You're desperately trying to justify her actions. I say ditch her. Based on what you and others have said you spent to much time on her and should let it go.

 

[LostbutFound]

Alright fellas, heres an update...she came over tonight and we hung out...she was out since the early morning and looked really tired...so we're sittin there and she looks at me, and says whats on your mind i can tell you're thinking...so im like i dont want to talk about all this tonight, just want to hang out and relax...she got a little mad and was like i want to know...so I said fine, but if you get mad its on you, i dont you i didnt want to say nothing...

So I tell her, I know im a nice person with you, but if you want to end things, then do it, dont gently let me down because im a nice person...she gave me a look like are you serious?? so I said I was a little pissed about what happened Thursday with the party thing, again got the same look...

So she puts her hand in mine, and im like what are you doin?? she said im making sure you hold my hand because I was two seconds away from slappin you for saying stupid ****... I was like what?? So she tells me, look this is gonna sound *****y but i dont care...Nice guy or not, if im gonna get rid of you, im gonna say it, not let you down gently, ill just do it...i was kid of shocked

so shes lookin at me, and again im like what?? she said you're slow tonight, im waiting...and I was like waiting for what?? and she says for you to hold me, i miss you...so im like alright (im a little confused)

Heres something she said that I thought was odd...she told me she was really sorry about my friend and party, but I did invite you (which is true) then she says im sorry but i do get pressured by my friends into going out, it happened with my ex (from 4 years ago) and we had to work on it...so im telling you it will take time but im workin on it...

Thats where I get confused, so shes saying it will take time, as if shes not planning on ending things....Am i wrong about this??

Pretty confusing sh*t huh??

Note: All AFC's...watch out....this is the sh*t that happens when you get emotionally involved with one of your girls and find a connection with them...Oh well, at least I got 3 more on the side if things get f*cked up, lololol

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Go for the kiss and see her reaction - this will tell you a lot more than her words!!! If she backs off then say "adios"! You have to control the relationship - don't wait for her to make the final decision - you must determine the outcome - don't take maybes!!

BTW, never hold a girl without kissing her - don't be her teddy bear - be her man!!

Go after the other girls and don't ever bring this up again to her!!

 

[DJ_Dork]

sounds like she's too much work already, ditch man.. don't even try to kiss or do anything. IGNORE and find other girls that want a relationship with you. WIth this current girl, use her only as a friend.

 

[ToP DoN]

forget about her

seems like too much baggage

 

[LostbutFound]

go for the kiss?? lolol, brother, i've been tappin that....Im way past the go for the kiss and see what happens thing....I did that like the first week we started talkin...Do you guys really think I would be treating a girl like this if I havent kissed her yet??

Not to break anybodies balls, just stated facts...anyways, like i said, the situation is a lot harder to explain by writing it...not harder to explain in a bad way, just difficult to explain the type of connection and what not...

But like I said, my gaurd is up until she totally commits to a relationship...otherwise im on gaurd and fVckin with the other girls!!!!