"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Expanding my social circle

Silverant

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I'm not an unpopular guy at school, but I want to become better friends with a lot of people, especially those who party. I'm hesitant, though, at approaching like circles of friends after school and just talking to them as if I was best friends with them. Wouldn't that be awkward? I'm pretty funny and smart and no one really dislikes me, but how do i get to the point where I'm hanging out with them on Saturday night?

With the "nerds" or w/e, going up to them and talking isn't as hard, however i feel they are more accepting, and saying something stupid or awkward isn't as cared about.

Thanks.
Silverant
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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rockman

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Well if you want to go to some parties, all you have to do is become good friends with at least one of the "party people" and that'll get you invited
 

clix

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best way to get people to invite you to parties? throw one yourself. a bit hard to do but if you manage to pull off a good on, you're set.
 

zubs

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I'd like to hear some better answers from the community, I've been looking for this kind of advice as well.

I'm cool with the "party" people, but i never get invited.

to the guys who party every night: when do you ask your friends about them and how do you ask them?

i could just text them anytime, just dont know what to ask them without seeming like a hanger-on.
 

HTownLunatic

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You don't really have to BE invited to parties. All you really need to do is know the people at the party and have a close friend/group to go with you.

It's not that hard. You're just overthinking it.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Silverant

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Ok. I'll try to find out about parties, but how do I get them to invite me, like regularly? Even just to hang out.


BTW I'm going sarging for my first time at the mall tommorow. I'm optimistic:cool:
 
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rockman

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you dont necessarily have to be INVITED to a party; most of the parties at my school are pretty open, so as long as you have a friend thats going, its perfectly ok for you to ask, "hey you going to blahblah's party on saturday?"
 

Tookie

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lol at my high school i crashed all the parties, I had people tell me before that it wasn't a party till me and my friends crashed it.
 

zubs

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Silverant, I dont think people will just invite you unless if you become the goto guy for parties (i.e. booze, drugs, chicks).

from my experience this past year, if you dont have a group of friends that parties (and invites you), you will need to find friends that do. how do you guys ask what parties are going on without seeming desperate?
 

Silverant

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zubs said:
Silverant, I dont think people will just invite you unless if you become the goto guy for parties (i.e. booze, drugs, chicks).

Lol...okay so maybe I can start buying and selling lots of weed. I remember last year i went to a guy's house parties a few times cuz I had smoked him out and provided him with some.

zubs said:
from my experience this past year, if you dont have a group of friends that parties (and invites you), you will need to find friends that do. how do you guys ask what parties are going on without seeming desperate?
How do you "find" friends? There aren't too many people at my school that party, so how do I become friends with those that do? Again, I'm on good terms with all of them (say "what's up" and all that). Should I just start talking with them in the hallways more often? what if they're talking with their friends though?

Thanks,
Silverant
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Silverant

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They're cool, but when we hang out it's only among ourselves. Not a whole lot of meeting new people or even people from other schools.
 

SinJester

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God dammit am I the only one here who lives in a place where probably less than half of parties are invite only? There's always questions like this. Unless its specifically 'invite only' feel free to go there with a couple cool mates (or chicks if you can pull it off) and some booze.

Parties are a great way to meet new people and expand your friendship circle. Others include sport, hobbies, clubs etc. Even just at school, strengthen ties with people in your class. Ask them what they are up to on the weekend, invite em out with ya mates, or ask if you can tag along.

When your at a party introduce yourself to people you don't know. Talk to them once and you've made someone who you can talk to at any party, twice and they are an aquaintace, three times and they are a friend. If you see someone you know in a circle go up and start talking to them and they might introduce you to the other people, if they don't do it yourself.

Only took me like 3 parties to become a regular.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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SinJester

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'Whats on this weekend?'

'Any parties on this weekend?'

'What you up to on the weekend?'
 

Silverant

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So if I actually went up to them and started talking to them, would that be a bad thing? Would they think of me as desperate?
 

SinJester

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No, its just being social lol. Stop caring what people think about you and just have fun. Why would they think you are desperate if your just going up and talking to them? Just chill, relax and enjoy other people compant.
 

ecilop

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Silverant said:
So if I actually went up to them and started talking to them, would that be a bad thing? Would they think of me as desperate?
naw dude not at all. as long as you have something to talk about and keep it social & friendly you're all good.
it WILL be awkward though if you go up to a large group and just stand around, or have nothing to talk about or contribute to the conversation
 
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