up until now her emails have been so hateful and downgrading. two days ago i got this and no idea what she means. is it closure, is it i miss you, is it to make herself feel better? i will see her thursday night for the first time in almost 2 months. the break-up was bad, pretty much her throwing me to the streets without any caution. what does she mean?
Hi Clay,
Happy Holidays. I hope you're doing well. You sure missed out on the 12 inches of snow we got earlier this week. Lucky you to be in Atlanta where it's 50 degrees out...mother ****er. haha. I keed!
Been thinking a lot about the past few months and where my head is at. Let me tell you, I have let go of a lot of my anger. With that being said, a ton of great memories and loving moments have rushed inside me and I find myself crying when I reminisce. I feel so many things at once. I believe it's also because I'm slowly beginning to accept who I am and what my part was in this whole thing. I don't blame anyone but myself for the bad things I've said and done that hurt everyone.
I had a dream about you a couple nights ago, which was also the night where I thought about you and all the good memories came. We were sitting on some green grass outside just pondering and being where we were. Then we both noticed a few butterflies flying about us...as if they were just hanging...mingling with us in our thoughts. Then all of a sudden, it seemed like an explosion of butterflies (they looked like monarchs) swarmed everywhere. There was a thick wall of orange and black wings fluttering before my eyes...like we were immersed in them. I didn't know what to do...I thought they were mashing into us and I think I could taste the bitterness of their wings and insides. I felt overwhelmed so we headed indoors. The butterflies were all over me...like they were embedded into my head and body. You immediately jumped in the shower and I waited but once you were all washed off...I didn't shower. I think we got in a small argument about how you didn't take the time to leave the shower on for me or something stupid like that. I was the one who instigated it so I never showered. I don't remember much after that. It was a really profound dream.
Goes to show, I still think about you from time to time and instead of being angry when I think about you, I remember you as Clay. Just being who you are. You are a great guy. I can see that now that the fog and pain have dissipated. Even though I say mean things, it comes from my own personal fear...not you. It's my responsibility and for all the times I've said mean things to you, I am really sorry. It's no excuse for me to say mean things even when I say them as a defense mechanism. I'm paying for them already...thanks Karma.
The unique things about you are GOLD. You believe in yourself and you WILL make it!
Hi Clay,
Happy Holidays. I hope you're doing well. You sure missed out on the 12 inches of snow we got earlier this week. Lucky you to be in Atlanta where it's 50 degrees out...mother ****er. haha. I keed!
Been thinking a lot about the past few months and where my head is at. Let me tell you, I have let go of a lot of my anger. With that being said, a ton of great memories and loving moments have rushed inside me and I find myself crying when I reminisce. I feel so many things at once. I believe it's also because I'm slowly beginning to accept who I am and what my part was in this whole thing. I don't blame anyone but myself for the bad things I've said and done that hurt everyone.
I had a dream about you a couple nights ago, which was also the night where I thought about you and all the good memories came. We were sitting on some green grass outside just pondering and being where we were. Then we both noticed a few butterflies flying about us...as if they were just hanging...mingling with us in our thoughts. Then all of a sudden, it seemed like an explosion of butterflies (they looked like monarchs) swarmed everywhere. There was a thick wall of orange and black wings fluttering before my eyes...like we were immersed in them. I didn't know what to do...I thought they were mashing into us and I think I could taste the bitterness of their wings and insides. I felt overwhelmed so we headed indoors. The butterflies were all over me...like they were embedded into my head and body. You immediately jumped in the shower and I waited but once you were all washed off...I didn't shower. I think we got in a small argument about how you didn't take the time to leave the shower on for me or something stupid like that. I was the one who instigated it so I never showered. I don't remember much after that. It was a really profound dream.
Goes to show, I still think about you from time to time and instead of being angry when I think about you, I remember you as Clay. Just being who you are. You are a great guy. I can see that now that the fog and pain have dissipated. Even though I say mean things, it comes from my own personal fear...not you. It's my responsibility and for all the times I've said mean things to you, I am really sorry. It's no excuse for me to say mean things even when I say them as a defense mechanism. I'm paying for them already...thanks Karma.
The unique things about you are GOLD. You believe in yourself and you WILL make it!