EXGF now my FWB, but I want her as my GF

[megachrons]

Basically Im trying to figure out what angle to play here. Had a girlfriend. Now shes a FWB that was her call. I feel like i get a lot of mixed signals so I want to know what to do to get her to be my girlfriend again.

I would give the whole relationship story but its typical. im a student overseas. started dating classmate in august 2013. We broke up over xmas break when we were with our families in the states. came back to school she made the break up official. "lets be friends no sex". i said ok but kept my distance. she got disrespectful that i didnt want to talk all day everyday so cut contact. then a week later she hits me up for sex.

- The sex has continued since. we talk on FB often. Its nothing like it was before though. she stopped giving *******s. sex has gone from 5 -7x a week to 1-2 x. things are all on her terms now. were rarely in public together. she argues with me over tiny things. gets extremely mad if im talking with other women. she claims that she doesnt want a relationship with me when we both move to the same city this summer and she wants to start fresh and find her husband. Basically putting an expiration date on our “situation”

-at one point she tells me that i need to get over her emotionally so i take a few days away from her last week. I made it a few days to let her know that she wasn’t that hard to get over and my feelings really aren’t the same. when i got back in touch she flipped out that i left her alone for a few days. since then she flipped out more about girls and accusing me of lies etc. Ive done my fair share of bad stuff before the break up, like judging her and overt flirting but no cheating. However, ive really changed a lot of that out of respect for her.

i want her to want to be in a relationship with me. what do i do?

please take into consideration that she flips out or cries over anything and its very difficult to deal with. Recently, Ive been just trying to be distant but availble if needed. Havent been clingy to her in months. She says no one has ever treated her like I did but she still says shes not in love with me.

 

[TheException]

Basically Im trying to figure out what angle to play here. Had a girlfriend. Now shes a FWB that was her call. I feel like i get a lot of mixed signals so I want to know what to do to get her to be my girlfriend again.

Her call? Well.......id stop giving a sh1t about this girl asap. She clearly is the more powerful one and you will NEVER get her to be your girlfriend again especially when you act like this.

"lets be friends no sex". i said ok but kept my distance. she got disrespectful that i didnt want to talk all day everyday so cut contact. then a week later she hits me up for sex.

Now why would you not keep up this attitude of not giving a sh1t?

The sex has continued since. we talk on FB often. Its nothing like it was before though. she stopped giving *******s. sex has gone from 5 -7x a week to 1-2 x. things are all on her terms now. were rarely in public together. she argues with me over tiny things. gets extremely mad if im talking with other women. she claims that she doesnt want a relationship with me when we both move to the same city this summer and she wants to start fresh and find her husband. Basically putting an expiration date on our “situation”

Again....more proof as to "who cares less". You need to flip this and quit caring about this woman. Start spinning plates asap and you will automatically start caring less. Shes currently your only option which is why you are so attached to her. Busting your nut with another woman will remedy this ONEitis.

Not the advice you were seeking.....but its the advice you needed. This will not work out and you will be left devastated when she leaves you for another man. Shes treating you like sh1t and you are just following her in lockstep. Quit embarrassing yourself and start acting like a man.

 

[megachrons]

I am spinning plates right now. 1 other fwb and 1 other im talking to seriously within the last 2 weeks. what do i do with the ex tho? just cut it off with her? i know im starting to care less. shes been asking if im mad at her etc.

i know a clean cut is the best option but i want to flip the script on her for treating me this way. how do i flip the script?

 

[Thundernuts]

You can't. Simple as that.

Your ex comes to you just wanting to have sex and you start wanting to change the the dynamic of the relationship. If you want things to change tell her you will not be seeing her anymore. That's it. You can't get her back to the way things were if you stay in where you are you need to start fresh with someone else.

Oh and man stop caring so much that you guys don't go out in. Public. She is not a gf just a Fwb you don't take them out like you would if you were together. Your just a sex toy to her and you should act as such. Do women cuddle with sex toys. Nope. Do they take them out when they eat. Nope. Do they brag about them. Nope.

Sorry but that's as far as your gonna get euntil u both move on stop trying to get something back and enjoy the ride while it last

 

[megachrons]

See the thing is she does all that. She insists on cuddling, going out on dates, she cries if I'm talking to other girls. I'm the one trying to keep it just fwb but she wants gf benefits.

Her wanting this makes me think that something will happen or she wants something else.

 

[Thundernuts]

Yeah.

I had sex with an ex mine the other weekend and now she is blowing up my phone wanting to get back together. At first I told her I would consider it but after she kept on making hints at much it sucks to be single I told her yesterday she needs to be an adult and if she can't handle being single I'm sure she could find some guy very easily who would love her for at least a few days. Done.

Do what I did. I set a boundary and she kept testing it so I got rid of her. Put her in her place and establish your grounds. If she continues this behavior them get rid of her. You guys ended for a reason its not like it was an accident. Somewhere along the lines she decided that you weren't worth investing into. She is emotionally lonely noe and while before she was horny she is ready to make a change. You can prolong this change from coming but its gonna happen eventually. Hopefully someone else can fill in the gaps I'm on a cellphone and its too hard to write this much on this damn thing.