Exes and ego boosts - plz explain

[test2356]

Ok so I posted ages ago about my ex girlfriend who recently got in touch after 7 years ........ basically I got suckered in by her charm and then she went cold on me when I took the bait and agreed to meet....

Since then I have ignored her and after about 3 weeks she contacted me again and suggested meeting up again ......... Unfortunately I was a complete **** and replied (I was literally kicking myself for doing it) ..... and once again after suggesting a free evening to meet up she went cold again.....

seems like every time I agree to meet her she completely loses interest.

I wont let it happen a 3rd time ... this is the final straw for me.

But I just wondered if anyone could shed any light on this sort of behaviour ??? why do women do this ?

is it intentional or are they completely unaware that they are doing it ? I know women are completely emotion driven so im trying to keep my cool as chances are that she probably isn't even aware that she is causing me pain in this way ........ I mean it has been 7 years and she probably doesn't even realize Im still hung up on her ........

 

[RagingBalls]

If ever she'll contact you the third time, and asked you again to have another shot at it.


What would you do? I'm just curious.

 

[test2356]

Another meet up? or another shot at dating ?

To be honest if its regarding meeting up again then I would most definitely ignore for a while and play distant - really make her work for my attention.

But if it's another shot at dating then I really don't know now that you mention it lol ..... Given her recent behaviour I would be very skeptical and probably not trust her an inch ...... But dammit I would probably cave in eventually.

I just really want to find out more about this ego boosting behaviour and whether or not it is an actual cruel game .... Or whether they just do it on a whim without even thinking about their actions ....

I mean it could be the fact that When I agreed to meet her I referred to it as a just friends meeting ..... And on both occasions I have played it as such during our meet ups due to my relationship status ...... So maybe she thinks I've friend zoned her lol .... (That would be ironic if it was me all along)

But if she has half a brain cell I'm sure my behaviour has given me away and she must know I'm interested .... Hell maybe I should just plant a kiss on her next time and see what happens ...

Pretty sure she must have noticed I'm acting odd around her though ...

 

[MtnMan]

women crave attention and validation like men crave sex. You want to fvck her, she wants to get validation from you that you want to fvck her.

She is getting what she wants, what are you getting?

 

[VikingKing]

Who cares. If your not getting sex, or money from her, stop giving her attention.

 

[Albatross953]

Read Mausers last five words again.

SHE IS TOYING WITH YOU

 

[test2356]

Thanks for the info guys ... I will be ignoring her from now on
(she text me last night actually asking how I am etc after she ignored my last message for over a week)

I haven't responded and will continue to ignore .....

My only problem now is that I'm thinking it seems a bit petulant and passive aggressive on my part ..... I mean that's how I would see it if I was in her shoes after toying me around ....

Wouldn't it be better just to reply with short aloof text ??

She literally sent a whole massive essay about how she apologized for her late reply and then went on to come up with some rediculous story about how she has a cold sore which is why she couldn't meet up on this occasion .... (She always sends long messages lol).

I was thinking about just replying something funny like

"and the oscar goes to ...... For her performance of I'm a lame replyer"

I know your all probably gonna say ignore ... But do you not think it seems a bit petty and passive aggressive to full on ignore ??

 

[RagingBalls]

Thanks for the info guys ... I will be ignoring her from now on
(she text me last night actually asking how I am etc after she ignored my last message for over a week)

I haven't responded and will continue to ignore .....

My only problem now is that I'm thinking it seems a bit petulant and passive aggressive on my part ..... I mean that's how I would see it if I was in her shoes after toying me around ....

Wouldn't it be better just to reply with short aloof text ??

She literally sent a whole massive essay about how she apologized for her late reply and then went on to come up with some rediculous story about how she has a cold sore which is why she couldn't meet up on this occasion .... (She always sends long messages lol).

I was thinking about just replying something funny like

"and the oscar goes to ...... For her performance of I'm a lame replyer"

I know your all probably gonna say ignore ... But do you not think it seems a bit petty and passive aggressive to full on ignore ??

It's best you should forget about that gurl and not make even a single text anymore.
If you'll text her that, she'll just use that text against you. She'll unfairly make you come across as paranoid, and now, you'll be the bad guy which you are not, then rejects you for it instead of you rejecting her.

 

[TheSlasher]

But you know what, guys? I think his question is pretty legit. I might bring this up on DJ Discussion.

 

[El Payaso]

Just ignore her. She's a waste of time.

 

[Black Widow Void]

It's difficult to see when inside the equation (been there before as well) , but it's all about psychology. Most of us can attest by our own past experiences.

If you were the one behaving as she, then she would the one reacting. Your best friend at the time is indifference. If you react in any form (no matter how satisfying) she gets what she wanted (reaction).

The moment you turn the tables is the moment you are victorious.

 

[Mr.Positive]

Text her and tell her you love her.

That's what I did when my ex was toying with me. It worked, never heard from her again.

 

[G_Govan]

Stop believing men and women think the same, you're trying to extrapolate from your own logical mind why she would do this, trying to make sense of it like a man.

Women have entirely different motives in relationships then men. Responding to her, as was mentioned by other posters, was for validation. She doesn't actually want anything else from you, certainly not your d-ck.

It's also a way for her to confirm that you weren't a prize that she regrettably let go. Again, she's toying with you.

 

[test2356]

Well it's gonna suck that's for sure ... But she is hence forth on permanent ignore.
I'm pretty good at self restraint once I've commited to it so this is me biting the bullet and letting her go....

Thank you all for your input .... Some great posts and sadly it's the reality that I didn't want to accept ... But your all right and I'm only fooling myself by taking her bait ...

Permanent ignore it is

 

[xupc]

Do not reply. As others has said she is toying with you