Excuse..or legit reason???

[drake]

Me and my ex broke up about 4 months ago. She was claiming she was depressed, hated her life, hated her job....was putting on weight, sleeping all day.....etc. Said she could see herself marrying me. We've been broken up for about 4 months.....I did no contact the second she wanted this break. Last week we talked for the first time in a while and I just cant stop wondering if she broke up with because of her screwed up life or because of me?

It matters to me because she claims that we were wonderful friends to each other when we were dating.....etc etc. But I just dont know where to take this. She has recently got out of her dreaded job in the bars and got an office job. That was a huge problem in the realtionship. Screwed up hours........sleeping all day.....working all night. It truly had a toll on us. Plus I felt like she was underemployed and not maximizing her potential.

Is a woman truly being depressed a valid reason to leave a guy?? Is this inexcusable?? Should I never look at her as relationship material again?? Im 25 and she is 26, not high school love here. Ive been dating and have not really found anything worth a damn.

Please advise!

 

[earthshyne]

When a person is in a depressed state, it is common for the person to not have the ability to think clearly about things. Sometimes depressed people do impulsive, self-destructive things. So, what made sense to her at the time may not necessarily make sense to anyone else.

So, in short, yes, depression is a legit excuse to get out of a relationship. The difficult part that you touched on already is that the partner will often have very little input in this situation. Depression most often makes one close in on themselves, so no matter what's going on around them, they simply don't feel any connection to it because they're so self-focused on their pain.

Most likely, this is not a one-off situation. It's likely to happen repeatedly, based on both internal and external events. But there is help available, if she can manage to realize that she's suffering from a disease and not a character weakness.

Check out this for more information.

 

[Desdinova]

She was claiming she was depressed, hated her life, hated her job....was putting on weight, sleeping all day.....etc. Said she could see herself marrying me

Sounds like low self esteem and depression. When a woman has these traits, she feels she is never good enough to be with anyone. She acted according to their feelings rather than logic. I know it would make more sense that she broke up because of how her behavior affected the relationship, but women don't work with logic. They work with emotion.

 

[Skullcrusher]

Bro, there was a study out there that said people who work night shifts and sleep during the day tend to be more mentally stressed than people who live normal hours.

Is she still worth getting back to? If she's better and willing to make up, then cool. If she's the same-o same-o, might as well drive a used Ford to get better reliability.

 

[drake]

hmm

That study information is interesting. I just wish I could get to the bottom of figuring out if she actually knew that it was not me that was causing the relationship to fail.....but more of her and where she was at in her life. We are extremly compatible........and she is just now starting to change her life for the better. (in my view)

When she wanted to take a break and I walked out.....she was saying things that related the whole break up to her not being happy with her life etc. But never did she say because we fought..argued anything like that. Not one finger was pointed at me. I dont even know if she wants to get back together or not, or if I do. I txted her the other night to say hi, long time no talk.....then she sent me an email in less then a day explaining her life to me..

Everyone knows the saga how women truly fall out of love and let the men down easy by blaming other things.. Is this the case here?? That is what I am having trouble with.

I dont know.........

 

[Desdinova]

I just wish I could get to the bottom of figuring out if she actually knew that it was not me that was causing the relationship to fail

Dude, she probably doesn't fvcking know herself. Again, for women, if it doesn't FEEL right, then it isn't right. Women can't figure out a shoe from a sex toy, but if she shoves it inside of her and it feels good, then it is good. She won't even think about the gum and dog 5hit she stepped in the day before.

Women aren't logical. They'll say "Oh, it's not you, it's me" to try and make sense of the whole situation. Women don't understand men, let alone themselves.

Go read the DJ Bible and you might find the answers you're looking for.