"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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examples of questions to ask so she qualifies herself to you?

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pete101

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do you guys have any examples of questions to ask so she qualifies herself to you?

with all this PUA game out there so many women have heard the 'so what else do you have going for you besides your looks?' line and variations of it.

what other qualifying questions are out there?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Rubato

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pete101 said:
do you guys have any examples of questions to ask so she qualifies herself to you?

with all this PUA game out there so many women have heard the 'so what else do you have going for you besides your looks?' line and variations of it.

what other qualifying questions are out there?
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Lol Pete, you don't want to interrogate the girl. If you talk to her with the mindset that you are The Great Catch and recognize that you have at least as much value as she does, this will come naturally. If you're asking a question about how to ask a girl a question that will prompt her to start qualifying herself to you, this probably isn't happening.

I would reflect the question back at you: Why should she qualify herself to you? Because you asked her some magic question that pressed every qualification button in a girl's head at once? Or because you have conveyed a specific attitude to her that demonstrates to her that you are valuable enough for her to start qualifying herself to you. Just as we should, women tend to judge by actions rather than words.

You can tell her you're worth her qualifying herself to you.... but that probably won't work. Instead, demonstrate it through your attitude, composure, and the way you carry yourself.
 
Chamber36

Chamber36

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Teasing them is a good way to get them to qualify themselves. I like to make fun of women's clothes, comment on them, or ask questions about them.

It's not as important to get women to qualify themselves, as it is to set the frame that they are doing their best for you. If you're on a date I might compliment the shoes and say "wow you really did your best", or something similar.

You can just also ask simple questions, like:

What do you do? How did you get here? Can you cook? What have you been doing the past few years? How did your parents meet? What do your parents do? What do you study? How old are you? What color are your eyes?(my favorite)

Another good one of course is: "how are you getting home?". You'll be getting important logistical information for a possible F-close. It's not really a qualifier though.
 
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Alex DeLarge

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You can't really ask them questions to seek qualification, it just happens naturally.. They have to qualify themselves to you because you are the catch.

Also like Chamber36 said in the above post, teasing them is good for qualification. Also as he said, in order for qualification to happen, you must maintain the frame.

I'll use an example here from a conversation I had about a week ago with a classmate..

Her: Wow, I'm so tired today. I need to go to bed earlier.
Me: Come on ____, you sound like an old lady!
Her: Haha! Yeah I know, but I do like to stay out late on the weekends and have fun!

Just playful teasing here, not really being an assh0le, but you get the picture. A lot of the sensitive types of dudes would be too self-conscious to say something like this, but by using teasing in this manner.. You're establishing that you are comfortable around her, thus building rapport.
 
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pdx1138

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Good one Alex.

Women generally get off on playful sarcasm. It makes you "fun" to be around.

I was in the living room of a new lady friend last saturday morning. she was doing her hair and the curling iron was making noises to flatten her hair and I said: "are you shaving your mustache?" (we've been dating for a few weeks and have already slept together a few times)

she laughed and gave me a little punch in the shoulder.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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SamTheHobit

SamTheHobit

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Lol this forum is such a circle jerk.
 
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floydb25

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You don't have to be direct about it... Just say you're looking for so and so, this is what attracts you, or you do this and don't get that in return. Or make comments about things you don't like, or wish they had. They'll usually pick up on it, and do those things to qualify themselves. But only if you don't chase, and present a challenge. Act a bit closed off and what not. Make sure its known that you are picky and have standards.

It's really in how you present yourself. Either you are chasing, or they are. There's no two-ways about it.

I'm not for using this for manipulative purposes, though.
 
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