Example of the Number Close Approach

[KiInCollege]

I consider myself an 8 but 6 in the body. I notice a 9 classmate waiting for our Calculus II class to begin. After having gotten brief eye contact and finding my smile returned…

Ki: Hey girl, what's your name?

*I am not trying to be her friend. My interest in her would be obvious to anyone standing within ten or even thirty feet away.

Her: Hey, I’m Dana.

Ki: That's a pretty name...

I wait briefly to see if she will ask for my name (interest level gauge).

Dana: What’s yours?

*Oh goodie…

Ki: It’s Ki. Nice to meet cha.

Dana: Yeah (smiles).

Ki: (smiles with eye contact) So, whaddya think about our class?

Dana: Oh God, don’t get me started.

The mild ranting begins.

Ki: I know…our teacher’s frikkin’ crazy. But he knows his stuff.

Dana: Yeah, that’s true…

The conversation continues for a few more minutes.

Ki: Well hey, it’s about time to get in there. Lemme call you up sometime (playfully seductive smile).

*Notice I didn’t ask; I demanded in a very warm way, while delivering a killer smile.

Dana: Okay (smiles)…

Ki: (Smiles)...

I close in on her personal space as she writes her number down; seeming as though I’m checking to make sure she’s writing legibly. When she looks up to hand me the number, my face is half a foot away, with my eyes meeting hers. A breath escapes her. I take the number.

We walk into class. I do not sit next to her, but rather in my usual seat. I wonder if she will follow me to my seat, but she takes her usual seat as well. Well played, my dear…

(to be continued)

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My insecurities once fueled my life. Now I've nothing but burning passion.

"It tastes like buuurning." Ralph Wiggum

[This message has been edited by KiInCollege (edited 01-23-2002).]

 

[Bungo Pony]

Great Stuff! I love success stories

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"Ballin’ all night, ballin’ all day
She won’t ball on me" - BOC

 

[Take No Dirt]

A smooth DJ KiInCollege is.

 

[jantheman]

Nice moves Ki, Good example of how to make them fall in your lap. How about telling us what you do though, when she makes you work for it a bit more? You know like playing hard-to-get, etc.

 

[the graphics guy]

You da shiznit, dog! It works, doesn't it?

 

[KiInCollege]

Hey fellow DJs, thanks. The above happened to me awhile ago, but I think people learn best by use of examples; when they can put themselves in “Ki’s” place.

I’m very grateful for the entertainment this site has provided me, so I feel compelled to share some of my techniques that were honed by this site. Another reason is that posting helps to motivate the “teacher” to follow his spoken principles and stay sharp.

Before I start explaining this event (it happened TODAY after my classes) I’d like to say that college is an adventure. If you’re in school like me, enjoy it while it lasts because I can’t imagine an easier place to pickup hot girls on a regular basis. I even have a meeting planned with a bud later tonight with some hotties, so I will keep this post brief and get to questions like JanTheMan’s later.

Begin today’s event (Narration, Dialogue, and * are my thoughts/techniques):

I am walking to my car in one of the farthest lots. I don’t really mind the walk because I often pass some interesting or familiar people. I turn back and notice 30 feet away is an old hot girl classmate (8) from last semester, who I never hollered at because I was indifferent at the time and was seeing someone else. But again, that was last semester…

Upon turning and seeing May, I stand there, waiting and occasionally squinting. She notices me. I give her my smile.

Ki: Hey May, I thought I recognized you…

*Man, this girl did something sweet with her hair over the winter.

May: Oh hey Ki, what’s goin on? I thought that was you…

Ki: Hehe, yeah, not much. Taking all these hard courses…

Begin the five minute usual discussion of the new semester’s class schedules, griping, etc. We soon begin walking to the general direction of my car/her place.

May: I know you’re always mackin…

Ki: Wha? No I don’t! Who told you that?

May: Uh huh…

Ki: Oh man.

May: So whatchu do on your break? Christmas…New Year’s…?

Ki: Not much—just chilled with friends…family.,.

Begin the brief break discussion where I don’t bother remembering the details. We are at the area where our paths split. At this point, I’m pretty certain she’s interested, so I try something…

Ki: Well, it guess I’ll cya around.

*I am looking for disappointment.

May: Oh…okay…bye.

*Time to give the Turnaround-Smile.

Ki: Well hey, let’s hang out sometime. You an me.

*This is a crucial statement. I am politely demanding a future engagement in a way that is very difficult to refuse.

May: Oh, okay! You got something to write my number down? I know you be mackin…

Ki: Wha? YOU write it down, silly.

*Always let her write her number down. It’s unromantic to have her feed it to you while you punch it in your cell or pen and paper (I still carry both, just in case).

Damn, I’ve gotta go…well, she asks me for my number, too. I give it to her, and am pretty certain of her interest level. Today is a successful day. Gotta go—I’m late! Wish me luck!

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My insecurities once fueled my life. Now I've nothing but burning passion.

"It tastes like buuurning." Ralph Wiggum

 

[Odysseus]

I do it differently.

My reasoning:

this is an investment situation. By walking up to her, you have given her 1 credit. But by HER giving you HER number, you give her another point! That's not good.

OTOH, i do it like this. I start the conversation, smiling, very light kino, neg hits if necessary, and then I ask HER to CALL ME. I pull out a card, with my contact info all written up.

"gimme a call soon, we could get together sometime."

She calls you, thus making her invest her time into YOU, not the other way around.

only the best interested girls call you, and they end up sticking around.

also, i usually propose the next date on the first date itself, when she has high interest. it works ALL the time. She has highest interest at the best point of the date, i grab the next date too.

i dont usually like techniques, but this is just one that has worked for me. remember, principles are ALWAYS more imortant than techniques.

[This message has been edited by Odysseus (edited 01-23-2002).]

 

[KiInCollege]

I don’t mind giving her one credit, as you put it, Ody. I’d feel odd having to wait and expect a girl to call me. For some reason, it just doesn’t seem right that a man can’t go out and just get what he wants (ie. Demand the number, and get it).

But I can see why some guys would want to take a more passive approach/tighter screening process. Hell, maybe I’ll even try it in a case where I feel it appropriate—though I can’t think of any situation at the moment. Well, maybe if the girl was extremely outgoing and I knew she had a high interest level, I’d try your way. But I’d probably still prefer mine

I guess I could elaborate. While you recommended “Gimme a call soon, we could get together sometime," I’d say, “Let’s get together sometime. Gimme your number.” One sounds more passive than the other; more anxious or, dare I say, needy. If I have a choice on who’s the most passive, me or the woman, it would definitely be the woman. I guess the bottom line is that I recommend you try my way once or twice and see how comfortable you are with it. There should be advantages to both methods.

As a guy, I don’t mind investing time into a new girl. It takes just a few moments. Of course if she proves unworthy I can dismiss her easily and move to girl number 578. Why wait a week for her to not call to decide that she’s not interested? I can call in 3 days and find out then. If you used your method Ody, you might be settin yourself up for an anguishing disappointment. Try it my way and you can cut the noose when you pick up the phone.

Thank you for bringing your point. It helps me clarify things, even to myself.

 

[KiInCollege]

JanTheMan, my man! If a girl’s playing uninterested/hard to get, you have to take that b**** shield down, pronto.

Before I go on, I need to say this. Clint Eastwood said in a movie (can’t recall the name, guys?):

A man’s got to know his limitations.

If you notice a girl’s b**** shield is very high, especially when you’re around, MOVE ON. Or try an experiment on her or something, but just keep your time productive and don’t waste it on a cold shoulder.

Now if you think you can snag this girl’s interest/steal her from her boyfriend, listen up:

1. Use powerful non-verbal communication, such as eye contact, smiling, light kino, etc.

2. Use humor. Watch Conan O’Brien or Seinfeld reruns to get good at it. Practice it in daily talks with friends you’re comfortable around. If used (though I rarely do), neg hits should involve humor whenever possible.

3. Do not mention her having a boyfriend. If she wants you to know, she will. You can find out later when you call her, but don’t be afraid to show your interest now. Let me repeat that:

Don’t be afraid to show your interest.

4. The girl knows you’re interested because you approached her and are smiling and trying to make her laugh. Go all out. If for some reason she can’t see your intentions when you first meet, you’re asking to be LJBFed. Then you’d have to drop her.

Don’t get me wrong; don’t come on too strong. Have patience, but make it clear that you’re not there to be friends. Stay a stranger/acquaintance, and move only into dating territory. Don’t be friends—move on if it comes to that. You can always call back in a month to see how she’s doing.

5. This lesson will continue at another time.


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My insecurities once fueled my life. Now I've nothing but burning passion.

"It tastes like buuurning." Ralph Wiggum

[This message has been edited by KiInCollege (edited 01-24-2002).]

 

[jantheman]

KiInCollege, you are the man! I can see you're a man with a reputation for mackin that precedes you, but it definately seems to work with the ladies.

Thanks for the bit on throwing down their b**** shield. I know I've spent too long on some chicks only to get nowhere. I've still got problems weeding out the flirty ones from the interested ones! I'll be giving your stuff a try real soon. Anyway, my problem is more that most of the women I meet are total strangers that I try to pick up in bars/clubs. Most of the good female friends I have are already taken. I've finished college and have moved to new city/job so there's not too as many people round here who know me, but I do go out with mates. Do you have the same luck with girls you DON'T know from college or do you have to try out some different techniques?

Cheers,

jantheman

 

[KiInCollege]

Jan my man, well, the all-time best way to determine if she’s flirty or interested is her response to the number close. You are trying to close with all these females in the bars, right? They’re strangers—you’ll never see them again. When you’ve made sufficient progress, go for the close. You probably have enough experience to interpret her reaction, having thrown off the AFC gloves before/during college.

Personally, however, I’ve found bars or loud dance clubs to NOT be the place to pick up the kind of women I’d like, unless I’d want to f**k close with someone less attractive than me/drunk/rollin too much. But I’d rather number close…I think the idea of f**k closing ugly women under the influence shows a lack of integrity. At these places, the b**** shield is also very high.

In this new city, I’m sure at least one of your “mates” knows a good hot spot in the city during the weekends. If there are none, rely on malls. There’s plenty of lighting, and always groups of girls around. Remember that the mall location will influence the type of women that go there. If I wanted to go solo and get some hot girl Asian/Black/Hispanic attention, I go to mall A, the one near downtown. If I want a higher success rate and groups of college-age women, I bring my buddies or frat bros and go to the big mall B with the built-in AMC theatre near my university.

Knowing or not knowing a girl isn’t too much of a factor. You see, I keep any girl I know as far as an acquaintance, only. I’ve got only one close female friend. A stranger may know OF me, but she’d only know rumors from my network of friends, ex-girlfriends, or whatever. May knew my ways because my loud close friend in the class mentioned my female status to me and people in a radius of ten feet. I got to play off his statement, but anyway…So I’m a mystery until I want to date her. My approach is the same from girl A to Z…

Unless she’s in a class of mine! Jan, imagine you’ve got a hot girl coworker. You see her regularly. You make a move and fail; you get to anticipate awkwardness every time you meet in the class/workplace. This is a big risk, so unless I get very good initial signals (like the first example at the top), I never pursue a girl I have to work with. It will turn sour if she had a problem with me dating others, if things didn’t work out, etc. I know this, first hand. Like with May—I’m much more comfortable seeing her since we’re not in the same class anymore (I plan to call after this weekend is over—I rarely call on the weekend or Fridays, even if it means waiting 6 days).

Thanks for posting! I want to hear the dialogue of YOUR success story. I answer to serve you AND to realize more about myself.

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My insecurities once fueled my life. Now I've nothing but burning passion.

"It tastes like buuurning." Ralph Wiggum

 

[Maximus]

Originally posted by KiInCollege:
I’m very grateful for the entertainment this site has provided me, ...

Hee hee hee. That's good stuff.

Very relaxed.

Totally cool.

Your just chattin. (and observing)

It aint no thang.

Drives women nuts. They don't even care how many OTHER women you mack with, just so long as they get a shot at SNAREING you.

Who starts the game playing? Not the guys in my opinion.

Were just talking? How is that macking?

LOL

That ability for relaxed conversation is what I look for in a women too. It really is an indication of contentment and "no worries" about what is going on inside the others head.

Thanks for the link Ki. All things come with practice and perservearance.

Maximus

[/B][/QUOTE]

 

[KiInCollege]

Max, you brought up a great point! I didn’t even realize I was putting the pressure on her—in fact, in my mind, I wasn’t! In my head, I was just catching up with May, but she let my reputation with the women or being in a frat, etc. intimidate her into thinking I was sweatin her.

I think I’m chattin (at first; I go into mack mode later, obviously), but she thinks I’m mackin from the start! This worked for me because she was probably interested upon first seeing me.

Upon retrospect and thinking about yesterday’s convo, this makes perfect sense. How useful this is to any of you guys…well, let’s see:

1. Having a good reputation can positively intimidate females. Popular frat guys and 8+ confident guys have the aura that they’ve been there, done that, etc.

Who starts the game playing? Not the guys in my opinion. We’re just talking? How is that macking?

2. I’m gonna agree with Max 100 % here, at least in this case. A girl usually starts playing games, while the guys have no intention of doing so, at first. I’m just chattin and seeing how it’s gonna turn out, while she may be driving herself nuts over-analyzing my intentions. Victory: Men in terms of passive-aggressive warfare!

That’s all I can think of for now. By the way, Max or anyone, how are you guys doing quotes that auto-say who posted it? I’ve been doing it the manual way, which just does the quote, not the reference.

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My Current Advice Thread

My past insecurities once fueled me. Now I've nothing but a burning passion for life.

Ralph Wiggum: "It tastes like buuurning."

I can change a man, yet not the world. But, I like to think that man is me.

[This message has been edited by KiInCollege (edited 01-27-2002).]

 

[KiInCollege]

Ki here, adding another installment to the “Real Life Series” thread.

Met an old acquaintance at a mall:

An old 3-4 year acquaintance walks into the store with two guy friends. Old, as in, this girl knew of me when I was in high school. The guys’ presence would seem rather intimidating at first, but I check the following signals:

1. The two guys she is with are going their own thing in the store, about 5 feet away.

2. She gives me a nostalgic, friendly look.

3. She looks more attractive since I last saw her months ago.

I then give myself the green light to chat her up. I won’t bring up her friends unless she does. Reader note: I ABUSE the smile and eye contact. I’ll omit references to these unless I feel it’s at a crucial moment.

Ki: Hey girl, how you been?

Tina: Hey, Kiiiiii. You come here all the time, huh?

Ki: Whaaaat? I haven’t been here for a week.

Tina: Uh huh.

Ki: Whatever…okay, when was the last time you were here?

Tina:…3 days ago.

Ki: Oh, okay, hypocrite (smiles).

Tina: (laughs)

Ki: So how’s school?

Tina: I’m not in school no more.

Ki: Oh yeah? So, where you work, then?

Tina: No where. I’m trying to find a job.

Ki: Yeah, me too. I’m trying to work at <insert your job here>.

The small talk continues for a few minutes.

Ki: So, who you talking to right now?

I look over briefly at her guy friends.

Tina: No one…

Ki: Whaaat? You got all this free time with no school and work and you still haven’t found nobody?

Tina: Hehe, nope!

Ki: It’s all good. My last relationship was over the break. I get to start over this semester.

Tina: Aww (smiles).

Ki: Well, hey, I used to have your number, but I lost it (I still have it, really). Gimme it again.

*I could’ve not lied here and just asked to call her later, but I choose to let my interest be known and ask her for the digits all over again.

Tina: Ok, here it is.

Ki: You can’t write it down?

Tina: Nope.

Ki: Don’t you have a pen in that big purse of yours?

Tina: Hehe, nope (shakes head with a big smile).

Ki: Okay, tell it to me.

I punch in the numbers in my cell.

Ki: Just these numbers? What’s the area code?

Tina: Oh, oops.

Ki: Ugh (smiles)….

I delete the numbers and she tells me it again, with area code this time.

Ki: Okay, well, I’ll call you up sometime (good eye contact here).

Tina: Okay!

She raises her right arm and gives me a big hug. I notice her guy friends notice this.

Ki: Later…

Tina: Bye.

That was Friday. I’ll call her up on Tuesday after I call May on Monday.

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My Current Advice Thread
My past insecurities once fueled me. Now I've nothing but a burning passion for life.
Ralph Wiggum: "It tastes like buuurning."
I can change a man, yet not the world. But, I like to think that man is me.

 

[jantheman]

Hey Ki, good play with Tina. Had a good laugh over what her guy friends were probably thinking seeing you chat her up. Intrested to see how this week turns out for ya.

Anyway, an update on me. Had a bit of a stressful week and decided to go out and unwind Saturday night with one of my mates (btw if you hadn't guessed I live in England, but I've lived in the States for years too.)

Well I wasn't feeling that bothered about checking out the bar, but when I got there I couldn't help but look at some really fit women ...
Well I walked past a couple of hot girls who were dancing really seductively and one of them was in my way, so I stood there and waited for her to turn around.

She turns round and smiles slightly embarrassed.

Jan: Don't stop because of me (smiles)

* She laughs - I see my mate go on ahead so I start following

Jan: Might see you around later.

Her: Yeah c ya.

* About 5 minutes and 1 beer later I come back round to where she is dancing

Jan: Hi again. I haven't seen you round here before.
* smiling, eye contact

Her: Yeah sure. You alright.

* Have a bit of small talk bout work, where we live, etc for about 5 minutes.

Jan: You know I didn't even ask you your name.

Her: Its Tracy, how about you.

Me: Jan. Well listen since we both work in London, how about meeting up for a drink sometime.

* She thinks about it for a bit

Tracy: I'd really like to... but I've got a boyfriend and I don't think he'd like me going out.

Jan: Thats ok, maybe some other time then.

Tracy: You know your really a nice guy.

* Ugghh! I didn't mind so much about the boyfriend bit (I don't think it was an excuse), but the nice guy bit really killed me.

Jan: Thanks, listen don't feel bad about it, nice girls like you are always taken. I'll see you around.

Anyway to make a point, not all girls are free out there - Ki stop stealing them and leave some for us but you still need to follow the number close. Thing is this girl was ACTING intrested. I could easily have bought her a drink, her friends a drink, spent the rest of the night talking to her and so on. I spent 10 minutes there max. Asked for her number and got the response. Didn't get what I would have liked but instead of acting all bummed out I just walked away gracefully.

[This message has been edited by jantheman (edited 01-28-2002).]

[This message has been edited by jantheman (edited 01-28-2002).]

 

[jantheman]

Originally posted by KiInCollege:
That’s all I can think of for now. By the way, Max or anyone, how are you guys doing quotes that auto-say who posted it? I’ve been doing it the manual way, which just does the quote, not the reference.

There's a button on top of each post at the very end which says "Reply w/Quote" when you hover over it.

 

[SoSuave.com]

Moved to Success Stories.