"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Examine your concept of feminism as a male

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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sodbuster

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Very little truth in it..... mostly an attempt to guilt men...again. Because we aren't like women.
 

49au

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That's a shame, too. Some of the TED stuff is amazing.
 

Strelok

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@office and cannot watch the video, what does he say?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Quick

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He's not wrong about how dangerous some of the expectations of men are, especially in the black community. I worked with a bunch of young black men (18-21) who had already fathered children and been to jail, and my feelings were that those events weren't entirely disconnected. It's beyond ridiculous that a man should be ashamed to cry even after burying his son, or that you have to prove your manhood by running a train on the neighborhood skank. I don't think expecting men to be robots who only know one emotion (anger) is helpful to anyone, and I would not raise a son in this manner.

I think that he's playing too much to his women audience, though, in putting all the blame on men as if this is what we chose. The simple truth is that most guys can't figure out the optimal middle ground between being a ***** that no man will respect and no woman will ****, and being the caveman who isn't in touch with his own emotions/humanity much less anyone else's. I'd love to have someone give a talk highlighting a bunch of situations where an AFC male is left depressed and helpless because he's been told all his life that he should never show aggression and dominance.

I'd have a lot more respect if he was giving this speech to a bunch of men. At that point, i'd trust that it was an honest call for healthy change instead of pandering to an audience who think something called a "rape culture" actually exists. Telling a bunch of single moms that they should work even harder to strip any concept of manhood from their children, isn't going to do anybody any good.
 

TheZone

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Well basically, what's going on here is that all men are men. Masculinity is moreso a social/culturally condition of what men should/should not be. In every society it's different.

So calling each other less of men, or more of men, etc. is not only wrong but dangerous. We are ALL men, whether we like it or not, whether "feminine/masculine", etc.

The whole "alpha/beta" play is only for those ****s who want to divide and manipulate so they can get more tahn anyone else. All this unecessary competition, etc. only serves to divide us. They want to keep men struggling, thinking we are never good enough.

Same happens with women.

If anything also it is negative reinforcement. Ie, would you follow someone, such as yourself if you are constantly being insulted, even by "yourself?" Not really. Same principles in team work, leadership, etc. You want to befriend those "below" you, and make yourself as a "common man", then they will respect you and will WANT to follow you.

So men are just warring each other, continuing war, because want to to keep warring each other.

Women too, want men to keep warring each other.

If every man was fit enough for a woman and every woman was fit for a man there would be men and even women (at least with the current state of mind) that would not agree and say that there SHOULD BE INEQUALITY, INEPTITUDE AMONGST SOME MEN AND CONFLICT.

They not only want to feed off the struggle, they want to feed and continue and create more struggle.

All this talk about alpha/beta, etc. Doesn't make one any "better or worse", more able to mate or not. Or should not be anyway. It's just a different position in life, it's just yin/yang. No right or wrong/better or worse.

People are just struggling with themselves.

Too many greedy people that wanna mess everything up for the rest of us.
BUt this is commonly accepted as a "normal thing" part of growing up, or part of life. One needs to be bad. Really bad. ****ed up bad. "Evil."


Women are like "yea men need to be that way, that's part of bein a man". Expecting us to be all Evil and ****. Bein evil *****es themselves.

See this not only ****s us up but women as well, ****ing us up even more.
 

element0

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Sounds like pandering to an audience that he knows will be captivated by his "Man Box" theory. Most men I know aren't overtly aggressive, don't disrespect women, don't hit women, etc. Maybe it is the community he grew up in, but it is possible to be a leader/aggressive/etc., and not be violent/uncaring/etc.

Instead of saying get rid of aggression, he should be talking about how men need to channel their natural aggression into competitive ventures that are positive for them and others around them; get better grades, get a promotion, join a sports team, etc.
 
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