Ex Wife and Kids

[aroundthecorner]

Hi there, I need your opinion, please.

I am divorced from my wife. We got 2 kids but let me explain.

We were initially friends and she was pregnant from previous partner.

I saw that boy from his birth and I simple fell in love with him.

I helped to raise him because I love him and now I see him as my own kid (he is 5 years). He still thinks I am the father.

Love flourished and I got married with his mother and we had another boy.

We got divorced 1,5 years later.

Her character is just way too much for me to bear. I dont expect perfect from nobody but at least some decency and standards while dealing with each other.

Due to her behaviour I dissapeared twice from sight but my oldest boy gets worried and anxious when I am not around. I simply can;t do that anymore to the kids.

She diminishes me and berates me the way she talks to me.

Just today at her place asked for coffee and was told to make one to take away.

I will bite the bullet but just kills me to have to deal with this. Just kills me!

Unfortunately, lots of times we got to be at her place together with the kids and she doesnt miss an opportunity to belittle me knowing how much bothers me.

Found out she trashed me to her friends (I dont care!!) but hurts me to see people listening about lies and how they must look at my kids (your father is a ....).

Any piece of advise would be highly appreciated.

Thanks.

 

[Billtx49]

At some point in the future the oldest will have to be told that you are not his biological father. Could be emotionally unhealthy for him if he finds out on his own later in his life.

 

[aroundthecorner]

At some point in the future the oldest will have to be told that you are not his biological father. Could be unhealthy for him if he finds out on his own later in his life.

True but he is still too young to bear this news. I was planning to wait 3 years more or so. Honestly, I dont think will make any difference to him once gets to know, we just love each other.

 

[Billtx49]

True but he is still too young to bear this news. I was planning to wait 3 years more or so. Honestly, I dont think will make any difference to him once gets to know, we just love each other.

If she's so vindictive that she's trashing you to everyone else, she may out you to the boy also in a misguided effort to hurt you. That really depends on her own emotional connection with her son.
You and the boy obviously have a good emotional connection, so your judgement call needed there.…