"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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ex wants to meet up - thinks I'm too good for her

tomato

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here is a convo my friend had with my ex:
friend: "you guys just had a bad patch you should not just end it over that"
ex: "I was gonna see how it goes when him and I meet up anyways"
"Oh and also. He's actually to good for me. As in he's gonna do so well in life and be amazing chances are ill be in his shadow all the time. And I'm not sure that's something I can deal with. He makes me know it too."

How do I deal with the "too good for me" thing? This is opposite to theory - like I need to DLV myself or something? the last bit means I will talk about it less and stress other DHV''s like social and activity

So she's going to want to meet up and she seems open to the idea of getting back together right?

How to handle it? Just push it towards sex ASAP right?

But how do I do loads of kino etc without seeming needy? I take it you'd say PUSH PULL - as in sit back let her come to me then lots of kino and push off right? and that a few times while I meet her? Can anyone link any good escalation threads?

thanks
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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AlexDP

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You're not too good for her. You deserve a mentally unstable woman who tortures you psychologically the rest of your life, because that is obviously what you want.
 

5string

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If she thinks you are too good for her, chances are she has very low self esteem. We all know that this is a red flag.

Be careful.
 

EFFORT

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tomato said:
So she's going to want to meet up and she seems open to the idea of getting back together right?
Hey again. Now you have the meet up so just meet up and see what happens. Don't talk about getting back together though, she'll bring it up if she wants to.

tomato said:
How to handle it? Just push it towards sex ASAP right?
Yes

tomato said:
But how do I do loads of kino etc without seeming needy?
By actually not being needy, which is a long term process. In the short term just accept that you'll probably come off needy and be cool with it.

tomato said:
I take it you'd say PUSH PULL - as in sit back let her come to me then lots of kino and push off right? and that a few times while I meet her? Can anyone link any good escalation threads?

thanks
Do the samething you did in the past to have sex her while you were bf/gf.
 

tomato

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PairPlusRoyalFlush said:
Her saying you are too good for her means she has low self esteem and she prob just did some really sick sexual stuff. BUT, she is probably just saying it so you will deny it and then validate her and praise her.
she has very low self esteem - yes it is a red flag I should have taken more care of - any ideas how to help her with that - I cant just compliment her all the time!? - how should I act when she asks for validation like this?

I am a little worried you might be right about the sick sexual stuff - maybe even her amazingly powerful post rationalisation bull**** machine is giving her nothing for what she's done (if she has done something - yes as much as I refuse to believe it she probably has). I suppose I just bang her ten times harder and just keep it in mind for the future - I suppose I need to have the self control to never bring it up - someone even said it could work in my favour!?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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5string

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tomato said:
she has very low self esteem - yes it is a red flag I should have taken more care of - any ideas how to help her with that - I cant just compliment her all the time!? - how should I act when she asks for validation like this?

I am a little worried you might be right about the sick sexual stuff - maybe even her amazingly powerful post rationalisation bull**** machine is giving her nothing for what she's done (if she has done something - yes as much as I refuse to believe it she probably has). I suppose I just bang her ten times harder and just keep it in mind for the future - I suppose I need to have the self control to never bring it up - someone even said it could work in my favour!?
Maybe just cut your losses and bail?
 

Alex DeLarge

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Whenever an ex wants to meet up, 9 times out of 10 they flake. Trust me I've been down this road. She just misses you for the 5 minutes her new fvck toy isn't texting or calling her. Then she forgets about you.

Don't even bother with her.

In fact, don't communicate with her anymore at all. What's the point? Communicate with other chicks.
 

tomato

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PairPlusRoyalFlush said:
I know that my GUT told me to dump my HPD ex every time she said something like you ex said but I didnt do it...and it was definitely an attention-whoring validation tactic. I cant be sure if it was post-rationalization but I know for a fact she was cheating on me at the time and it would come out of NOWHERE, like she would start the convo with "I don't deserve you". So I think it was that too.
How do you know for a fact btw - i take it she denied it? This is very interesting that she is saying this aswell just like yours did - I think it is a guilt thing - although it begs the question of if I am so amazing - why doesnt she work for my attention - surely the whole thing about game is raising your value so she then validates herself? Didnt you come up with any ****y responses to what she said? "Well then you'd better tell me 3 interesting things about you or I'm going now" ???
PairPlusRoyalFlush said:
To answer your questions, you cant fix her self esteem or even address it, a therapist can do that. You can exploit it and neg the sh!t out of her which will raise her interest in the short run but hurt her feelings when she devalues you, and you will not know when you are devalued and will be shocked when she takes offense out of nowhere.
You think negging is a good idea if she says that? maybe "damm right your going to have to work to get me into bed"
PairPlusRoyalFlush said:
As far as her being a slvt, why keep that out of your mind? Run!
I dont know if she is for sure. Also I am trying to move on but I really have a thing for this girl - I've been gaming and I still only interested in her really....apparently it can work as a bonus not sure how
 

Iceberg

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It is absolutely amazing that you have time to write post after post after post, asking the same questions about the same woman.

It is also amazing that people keep responding to you. I think I tried helping you in your first post on this board. Then after it became obvious that you're one of those guys who just comes here for the attention (of males on the internet), I tuned you out.

Hopefully others will too. After all, in the paragraphs of advice given to you, you still return asking the same things.
 

tomato

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EFFORT said:
Hey again. Now you have the meet up so just meet up and see what happens. Don't talk about getting back together though, she'll bring it up if she wants to.



Yes



By actually not being needy, which is a long term process. In the short term just accept that you'll probably come off needy and be cool with it.



Do the samething you did in the past to have sex her while you were bf/gf.
Do you think its possible to push for f-close on first meet - I have my place organised (record time) I have comfort sorted right... so how about bar casino then my place? Would this be moving too fast and be too long - maybe just a short first meet?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

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