rightcross
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- Joined
- Mar 19, 2011
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This isn't another get her back question. It's as a learning experience to see what I did wrong and make my life better.
Long Term Relationship of a little over 2 years. Things started going bad both in my life, hers and in how we related. One night when she was being a total ***** I told her to leave and not come back. 5 minutes later she is sending me text messages saying how she needed help and that she didn't know what she was doing. She kept calling me and texting weird things but I didn't reply and then it seemed like a suicidal text message. So stupid me, I went to check on her. Told her to stay the night at my place because I was worried about what she'd said.
She said that she was not suicidal, just depressed. I let her sleep in my bed and I slept on the couch. I tried to convince her over the next few days to speak with her parents and friends about it. But somehow I stayed in the relationship because of this cry for help, real or not.
Then a month later we have another huge argument and she was begging me not to leave. And as I was leaving she asked what we were going to do, and I said we should break up. She started saying how much she loved me and so on but I left anyways. Next day she invites me to dinner to discuss the breakup. We pretty much just argue. And then she tries to discuss with me the next day. But I don't talk to her. I tell her by text that we will have nothing to do with one another, as she kept texting me over and over. Then she keeps trying to call me, but ends up texting me since I don't answer the calls. She says that she needs me in her life and that it's unfair for me to not talk to her. I respond, stupid of me.
I see her a couple days later and i don't want to talk to her. She is crying and just follows me down the street. I shouldn't have let her in my house, but I do and we're talking about the breakup again. Same thing next day. But I end up suggesting that we'd have to work on things if we were going to have a relationship. After a few conversations she then says that we should go through with the break.
I was shocked, dumbfounded. I was angry. I couldn't believe she would turn the breakup around like that. I said some hateful things, and she did to me. But afterwards she kept insisting that we would have to remain friends, as she cared about me so much.
I kept contact to a minimum and tried to be polite whenever I saw her. But we ended up fighting a few times. After close to a month I decide to write a hand written letter to apologize for the things I had done wrong in the relationship. I did it to retain my integrity and to move into no contact. She emailed me the next day saying how thoughtful the letter was and how she hoped we could spend time together soon. I did not respond. A week or two later she stops by my place and gives me a letter, and hugs me. Very clearly dressed up and wearing perfume. The letter says how amazing I am and how much she loved me. And says how she hopes we can continue to spend time together in the future. I wrote her a response which I should not have done.
Over the next month or so I only contact her when she contacts me. And it's fairly regularly both email and text. I try to keep it short but polite. Same when I see her in person. She would hug me and one time ran her hand down my chest as we hugged. Other times she would touch my arm when we parted ways. This seemed more friendly than anything else.
It's been just over three months and i had a feeling she may show up at a bar where my friends band was playing, not her friends. And what do you know she shows up with two guys. She waves to me excitedly when she sees me and I just nod. She leaves the guys and goes to watch a band by herself. Then after the set she walks by me where I'm talking with some friends. She's clearly trying to get my attention but I stick to the conversation. She walks by again and touches my arm, 'Hey how are you?' I say 'Good how are you?' and then return to the conversation with my friends.
After the next band, she comes up to me and I'm not talking to anyone so i have to carry the conversation longer. Talking about the bands then out of nowhere she says how she was at a basketball game with these guys. How her friend told her to hang out with these guys and how she's been going to basketball games with them. And how after the game she suggested they come to see these bands. I didn't ask anything about the guys at all, never asked. Just said, 'Oh you like basketball now?' Same time last year I was taking her to see games. She never really liked it though. I was trying to be polite but let off that I had more important people to talk to.
After the last band she was standing by the guys for once and laughing so loud you could hear her across the bar. Clearly exaggerated laugh. I thought she's either trying to get to me or letting the guy know she really wants to **** him. She's standing by the door with them, and I have to leave to get up early next morning. So I just tell my friends they played a great show and walked out the door without looking at my ex. Was this the right way to play things?
Why was she doing this? To make me angry or just to show she is moving on? It's pretty stupid. And if she's sleeping with guys a few months after a breakup it just adds to her ****tiness list, and how I can do much better than her.
I have been working out and building my own business. So single life is pretty good. Everyone notices the weight loss and added muscle, and my ex noticed too which was funny. Any tips, advice?
Long Term Relationship of a little over 2 years. Things started going bad both in my life, hers and in how we related. One night when she was being a total ***** I told her to leave and not come back. 5 minutes later she is sending me text messages saying how she needed help and that she didn't know what she was doing. She kept calling me and texting weird things but I didn't reply and then it seemed like a suicidal text message. So stupid me, I went to check on her. Told her to stay the night at my place because I was worried about what she'd said.
She said that she was not suicidal, just depressed. I let her sleep in my bed and I slept on the couch. I tried to convince her over the next few days to speak with her parents and friends about it. But somehow I stayed in the relationship because of this cry for help, real or not.
Then a month later we have another huge argument and she was begging me not to leave. And as I was leaving she asked what we were going to do, and I said we should break up. She started saying how much she loved me and so on but I left anyways. Next day she invites me to dinner to discuss the breakup. We pretty much just argue. And then she tries to discuss with me the next day. But I don't talk to her. I tell her by text that we will have nothing to do with one another, as she kept texting me over and over. Then she keeps trying to call me, but ends up texting me since I don't answer the calls. She says that she needs me in her life and that it's unfair for me to not talk to her. I respond, stupid of me.
I see her a couple days later and i don't want to talk to her. She is crying and just follows me down the street. I shouldn't have let her in my house, but I do and we're talking about the breakup again. Same thing next day. But I end up suggesting that we'd have to work on things if we were going to have a relationship. After a few conversations she then says that we should go through with the break.
I was shocked, dumbfounded. I was angry. I couldn't believe she would turn the breakup around like that. I said some hateful things, and she did to me. But afterwards she kept insisting that we would have to remain friends, as she cared about me so much.
I kept contact to a minimum and tried to be polite whenever I saw her. But we ended up fighting a few times. After close to a month I decide to write a hand written letter to apologize for the things I had done wrong in the relationship. I did it to retain my integrity and to move into no contact. She emailed me the next day saying how thoughtful the letter was and how she hoped we could spend time together soon. I did not respond. A week or two later she stops by my place and gives me a letter, and hugs me. Very clearly dressed up and wearing perfume. The letter says how amazing I am and how much she loved me. And says how she hopes we can continue to spend time together in the future. I wrote her a response which I should not have done.
Over the next month or so I only contact her when she contacts me. And it's fairly regularly both email and text. I try to keep it short but polite. Same when I see her in person. She would hug me and one time ran her hand down my chest as we hugged. Other times she would touch my arm when we parted ways. This seemed more friendly than anything else.
It's been just over three months and i had a feeling she may show up at a bar where my friends band was playing, not her friends. And what do you know she shows up with two guys. She waves to me excitedly when she sees me and I just nod. She leaves the guys and goes to watch a band by herself. Then after the set she walks by me where I'm talking with some friends. She's clearly trying to get my attention but I stick to the conversation. She walks by again and touches my arm, 'Hey how are you?' I say 'Good how are you?' and then return to the conversation with my friends.
After the next band, she comes up to me and I'm not talking to anyone so i have to carry the conversation longer. Talking about the bands then out of nowhere she says how she was at a basketball game with these guys. How her friend told her to hang out with these guys and how she's been going to basketball games with them. And how after the game she suggested they come to see these bands. I didn't ask anything about the guys at all, never asked. Just said, 'Oh you like basketball now?' Same time last year I was taking her to see games. She never really liked it though. I was trying to be polite but let off that I had more important people to talk to.
After the last band she was standing by the guys for once and laughing so loud you could hear her across the bar. Clearly exaggerated laugh. I thought she's either trying to get to me or letting the guy know she really wants to **** him. She's standing by the door with them, and I have to leave to get up early next morning. So I just tell my friends they played a great show and walked out the door without looking at my ex. Was this the right way to play things?
Why was she doing this? To make me angry or just to show she is moving on? It's pretty stupid. And if she's sleeping with guys a few months after a breakup it just adds to her ****tiness list, and how I can do much better than her.
I have been working out and building my own business. So single life is pretty good. Everyone notices the weight loss and added muscle, and my ex noticed too which was funny. Any tips, advice?
