First post here, and I need advice.
I was with her for 5 years, she's 24, I'm 27. We talked marriage, kids, everything. Honestly we had a very strong relationship for a long time, but for the first few years I was the ******* boyfriend, totally neglected her and it tore her apart at times but she stuck it out and loved me to death. Eventually though she got tired of my **** and backed off, at which point, you guessed it, I clung on for dear life realizing what I'd lost. It took a few months but I got her back and shook the AFCness and at that point we had a pretty awesome balanced healthy relationship for a couple years.
Things slowly turned to **** though, I lost myself, stopped seeing friends and having much of a life, was pretty miserable with a ****ty job and living at my moms, had a lot of pressure to find apartment with gf, we had been talking about moving in together for a while but honesty I wasn't 100% sure I wanted to fully commit to her and take that big of a step. A large part of me wanted to go be on my own and do whatever I wanted, reconnect with people and build a new life. She could feel this, and right after christmas we started drifting apart. So start of january, feeling her drift away, and being ready to jump ship myself, I started looking for work in the city ( we both live in a suburb an hour outside of a major us city, the burbs were sucking the life out of me). I actually got a job and when I told I was talking the job and moving to the city it basically broke us up, it was kind of ugly, basically we said never to call each other again, she said she hated me, etc.
So I moved, got my life on track, started going out and having fun, focusing on what I want to do with my life, working out, and doing everything possible to self improve which feels great. Its been hard at times, I do love her and I have missed her, but I've really been trying to move on because I needed to work on myself.
After 5 weeks of NC, this morning, completely unexpected (because when we broke up it really sounded like she was done, I've known her for 5 years and I could tell) she sends the longest text about how she can't stop thinking about me, feels so lonely, misses everything from my face to the sex to the way we cuddled. She said she wanted me to be her husband and have her children but she wasn't feeling the same level of commitment from me. Says she will love me forever and prey that fate brings us together.
So what the **** do I do? I'd take her back now, but I m still not happy with myself, I feel like I need more time to really be the best I can be, and maybe then we can give this a chance. I just don't want to screw this up and say the wrong thing, I want to leave the door open.
Sorry if that was long guys, thanks.
I was with her for 5 years, she's 24, I'm 27. We talked marriage, kids, everything. Honestly we had a very strong relationship for a long time, but for the first few years I was the ******* boyfriend, totally neglected her and it tore her apart at times but she stuck it out and loved me to death. Eventually though she got tired of my **** and backed off, at which point, you guessed it, I clung on for dear life realizing what I'd lost. It took a few months but I got her back and shook the AFCness and at that point we had a pretty awesome balanced healthy relationship for a couple years.
Things slowly turned to **** though, I lost myself, stopped seeing friends and having much of a life, was pretty miserable with a ****ty job and living at my moms, had a lot of pressure to find apartment with gf, we had been talking about moving in together for a while but honesty I wasn't 100% sure I wanted to fully commit to her and take that big of a step. A large part of me wanted to go be on my own and do whatever I wanted, reconnect with people and build a new life. She could feel this, and right after christmas we started drifting apart. So start of january, feeling her drift away, and being ready to jump ship myself, I started looking for work in the city ( we both live in a suburb an hour outside of a major us city, the burbs were sucking the life out of me). I actually got a job and when I told I was talking the job and moving to the city it basically broke us up, it was kind of ugly, basically we said never to call each other again, she said she hated me, etc.
So I moved, got my life on track, started going out and having fun, focusing on what I want to do with my life, working out, and doing everything possible to self improve which feels great. Its been hard at times, I do love her and I have missed her, but I've really been trying to move on because I needed to work on myself.
After 5 weeks of NC, this morning, completely unexpected (because when we broke up it really sounded like she was done, I've known her for 5 years and I could tell) she sends the longest text about how she can't stop thinking about me, feels so lonely, misses everything from my face to the sex to the way we cuddled. She said she wanted me to be her husband and have her children but she wasn't feeling the same level of commitment from me. Says she will love me forever and prey that fate brings us together.
So what the **** do I do? I'd take her back now, but I m still not happy with myself, I feel like I need more time to really be the best I can be, and maybe then we can give this a chance. I just don't want to screw this up and say the wrong thing, I want to leave the door open.
Sorry if that was long guys, thanks.