Ex (oneitis) stays with abusive boyfriend

[LuckyStrike88]

Alright so i've probably made a mistake but i couldn't help myself. Been in contact with met ex (oneitis) again, i did not contact her but she contacted me and invited me over a couple of times now for 1 month. I usually get in late and stay through the night up until dawn until i decide to leave. She's my ex and because of her boyfriend no intimacy, but yeah we can do that talk for hours on end and keep it interesting without much silences. Very upbeat and fun girl to be around and yeah i actually do have fun with her regardless of there being intimacy.

Anyhow she is bored, complains about her boyfriend. He used to live in with her but now pulls back to his parents house more often. They get in fights, he sleeps and eats at her place but barely support her financially or cleans up. Lying about stuff. When there he hangs out at her place, probably bangs her and plays his Xbox. And when they get into a fight and mister doesn't like it he picks up his Xbox and walks out. Lies about stuff to her and refuses to help her with any problems she might have. I understand they don't see each other that much anymore either 1 maybe 2 times a week.

Of course a lot of alpha in there doing whatever the hell he wants, she complains about it but doesn't leave him for it. Seems like a clear cut case of women not knowing what they want but showing what they want by staying with such guys.

Kept her from complaining about him or doing anything that puts me into the girlfriend role. Just hanging talking with her for my enjoyment nothing more or less. But yeah i wonder if i should do anything more than this or keep her as a low key friend.

I am not desperate to get her back but i do know it could potentially be a very good one for me as we connect on a lot of levels. When i used to roll with her i was pretty much AFC but have polished up a lot since then, i can see she notices, respects me and enjoys having me around but where to go from here... Any suggestions?

 

[zorg198]

So basically you became her emotional tampon.

jeeez due what the fvck is wrong with you? there is a reason why she's an ex! why you keep yourself involved with matters like this?

 

[LuckyStrike88]

So basically you became her emotional tampon.

jeeez due what the fvck is wrong with you? there is a reason why she's an ex! why you keep yourself involved with matters like this?

That's how it started out the first time i saw her indeed that's how i know about her boyfriend problems. After that i told her to keep those problems between him and her and she hasn't complained about it since. I know very well how to keep myself out of the tampon area, nasty things. Right now it's just having fun fooling around teasing, actually some sexual tension without breaking any rules. It can actually be enjoyable, if you have female friends you know what i'm talking about. As long as you don't get attached all is okay.

I'm not explicitly involved on a beta mission to get her back, that's not it. If anything i enjoy just being friends with her without being emotionally invested in an outcome, and keeping a possible future option open in the process.

 

[zorg198]

I think for your own sake to pull back and stick to NC. no matter what you think those emotion will rise again and you will get rejected once she will sort out her issues....

Joe.

 

[LuckyStrike88]

I think for your own sake to pull back and stick to NC. no matter what you think those emotion will rise again and you will get rejected once she will sort out her issues....

Joe.

It maybe is a wise and safe thing to go NC in a situation like this where there is threat emotions could come back, but as long as i don't feel that threat i see no reason to drop her just like that. I am actually on good terms with her and i enjoy having both male and female friends. Having female (just)friends is good for you and can be stepping stones to meeting other women as well. The girlfriend i had after her i actually met at her place, were all in this social circle. It's good times.

 

[El Payaso]

The time spent wasting on this girl that you "connect with on so many levels" could be better spent on another girl out there who will not only suck you dry and keep your balls drained but will also "connect with you on other levels".

Stop wasting your time with this loser and hanging around in the hopes that she might throw you some pity pu$$y. You will not admit it but deep down, you know I'm right.

 

[TheGambino]

He picks up his xbox and leaves when hes mad lol

 

[LuckyStrike88]

He picks up his xbox and leaves when hes mad lol

Yeah lol i was thinking the same, he is secretly my hero because of that haha

 

[nismo-4]

Alpha lays, beta stays. Guess which one you are?

Go ghost dammit.

 

[Februathyst]

When i used to roll with her i was pretty much AFC but have polished up a lot since then

Looks like you are in need of a new polish. You are an AFC with a oneitis for an ex. Why don't you be the alpha doing what you want? You're the beta getting nothing from her. The abusive boyfriend is banging her. Hit the road Jack.

 

[LuckyStrike88]

Alpha lays, beta stays. Guess which one you are?

Go ghost dammit.

Thanks bros, have given it some thought based on these kind of juicy comments. Even though i do not feel directly desperate or sad to have her, i do seem distracted. Oneitis tends to bring in a form of justification and denial that i must be aware of. I am pulling out, should know better than to make her feel better and fill in the need gaps her bf is not willing to fulfill. And right he is.

Moving on. In contact with a new broad thinking about asking her out on a date, seems like a quality woman without problems.

 

[Zarky]

seems like a quality woman without problems.

baahaaahahaa no such thing my friend