Ex lets me get a lot of kino in, (but I am in a pickle)

[Pathgen]

Keeping this as short as possible:

Against my better judgement I went to hang out with my ex. We spent some time together in her dorm room and I was on her bed wrestling, poking, teasing, and even rubbing her hand and trying to escalate. She seemed to welcome all the touching and even touched me back. However, when I went for this kiss she gave me the "don't try that look" I know so well from the relationship and turned her head. Needless to say I kept escalation up, but never went for that kiss again.

During the whole time she brought up questions asking me about relationships and why I don't want to get into one. I told her I am just not ready to lose my freedom unless I really am ready to be in a relationship with that person. I just tried to get her off that topic as much as possible. Not sure if this was the right response, but it's honest.

Thing is I am thinking about trying to take her back after last night. She lives 6 ****ing hours away which is why we broke up in the first place. Note: this is someone that I can really love, and I want to be with her again, I am just not sure I want to have a serious LDR when I am 20 going on 21. 8 months until I turn 21 and the world will open new experiences for me if I am single.

On the other hand, I know what it is like to have her have another boyfriend and to be unable to date her because of that. I can't lie and say that I am not afraid she will find someone else again. Then I will be locked out of the relationship as long as she dates or sees him.

I also like this girl so much that from the moment I broke up with her, I felt that if we ever dated again it could be our last chance. She was really in love with me and our breakup really tortured her for a while. She held a subconscious grudge for two years, that never was really bad, but I could tell she had a grudge by some of the comments that slipped out of her mouth attempting to hurt me. I am thinking if I am not going to be in this 100%, then maybe I shouldn't do it and wait until were older and more mature.

Note: There are other plates. I just see this girl as above the rest and I have already kicked myself once for letting her go.

This girl just fits into my life. She is no way a supermodel, but her personality and easygoing nature makes her equally attractive in my eyes. She is also the type of person who will really care and love me with all of herself, which is even sexier. She is also a person I enjoy talking with and she doesn't bore me in the slightest with topics that are something I can't relate too.

I think I know what she wants from me. She wants a commitment. But I feel damned if I do and damned if I don't. If I do certain parts of it are going to suck due to the LDR my freedom. If I don't I know I will probably kick myself in the future again, even if I don't really know what the outcome of getting together with her know ill be like.

Anyone have any experience in a situation like this?

 

[jonwon]

Keeping this as short as possible:

Against my better judgement I went to hang out with my ex. We spent some time together in her dorm room and I was on her bed wrestling, poking, teasing, and even rubbing her hand and trying to escalate. She seemed to welcome all the touching and even touched me back. However, when I went for this kiss she gave me the "don't try that look" I know so well from the relationship and turned her head. Needless to say I kept escalation up, but never went for that kiss again.

During the whole time she brought up questions asking me about relationships and why I don't want to get into one. I told her I am just not ready to lose my freedom unless I really am ready to be in a relationship with that person. I just tried to get her off that topic as much as possible. Not sure if this was the right response, but it's honest.

Thing is I am thinking about trying to take her back after last night. She lives 6 ****ing hours away which is why we broke up in the first place. Note: this is someone that I can really love, and I want to be with her again, I am just not sure I want to have a serious LDR when I am 20 going on 21. 8 months until I turn 21 and the world will open new experiences for me if I am single.

On the other hand, I know what it is like to have her have another boyfriend and to be unable to date her because of that. I can't lie and say that I am not afraid she will find someone else again. Then I will be locked out of the relationship as long as she dates or sees him.

I also like this girl so much that from the moment I broke up with her, I felt that if we ever dated again it could be our last chance. She was really in love with me and our breakup really tortured her for a while. She held a subconscious grudge for two years, that never was really bad, but I could tell she had a grudge by some of the comments that slipped out of her mouth attempting to hurt me. I am thinking if I am not going to be in this 100%, then maybe I shouldn't do it and wait until were older and more mature.

Note: There are other plates. I just see this girl as above the rest and I have already kicked myself once for letting her go.

This girl just fits into my life. She is no way a supermodel, but her personality and easygoing nature makes her equally attractive in my eyes. She is also the type of person who will really care and love me with all of herself, which is even sexier. She is also a person I enjoy talking with and she doesn't bore me in the slightest with topics that are something I can't relate too.

I think I know what she wants from me. She wants a commitment. But I feel damned if I do and damned if I don't. If I do certain parts of it are going to suck due to the LDR my freedom. If I don't I know I will probably kick myself in the future again, even if I don't really know what the outcome of getting together with her know ill be like.

Anyone have any experience in a situation like this?

This girl has you right where she wants you, she is using you as an emotional validation sponge, the trist on the bed and the question of why you didn't want a GF was simply a way for her to gauge out of you that you still had feelings for her, and in her mind your not dating other girls because she is still on your mind.

You rewarded her everything she wanted, she is using you like a tampon for all her emtional needs and validation, for when she meets a guy she really wants, it's a boost to her ego, like an emotional vampire, sucking out your self-esteem to boost hers.

There isn't other plates, you have serious oneitus for a chick who uses her time to squeeze emtional and ego validation from you - your nothing but a limp wristed doormat ready to jump at her will, act like a royal doormat and be there and her beck and call.

She isn't special at all.

You only think she is because of the way she is treating you, badly! Your ego is taking a bruising, it cant take the fact his girl is fuc*ing with you. But like a lap dog you go back wagging your tail in the hope your PUA techniques will break down the barriers.

You learn PUA techniques and think they are a golden bullet to get back a oneitus, you have zero inner game, hence you pandering and PUA nonesense is nothing but cheap tricks that reward her validation and make you out to be a needy try hard.

Number one: 6 Hours is way too far, long distance relationship normally dont work, you'll only get to see on odd occassions.

Number two: Your a kid, you dont know a thing about the world, no offence, but you really have no clue at all what love is - You dont even know this chick and already your planning a life in your head.

Number three: Your young enjoy it, why even think about settling down at such a young age, you have a life-time ahead of you.

Number four: Too much baggage and emotional fcukary from her side.

 

[Pathgen]

Possibly, but I honestly doubt it. Ive been no contact with her for the last 9 months and she has been initiating contact with me that I have been ignoring the last month. Your telling me I don't know what girls are special to ME and MY interests. I think thats a bold statement on your part.

As for my "PUA" techniques. Everything I did was what any man would try to do in a girls bed at 1 in the morning. You condemn me for that?

I could walk from this and I am trying to decide if thats what I want to do.

 

[Ease]

Im gona have to face this situation soon. My LTR will become an LDR and so a breakup must ensue.

I feel your pain brah

 

[jonwon]

Possibly, but I honestly doubt it. Ive been no contact with her for the last 9 months and she has been initiating contact with me that I have been ignoring the last month. Your telling me I don't know what girls are special to ME and MY interests. I think thats a bold statement on your part.

As for my "PUA" techniques. Everything I did was what any man would try to do in a girls bed at 1 in the morning. You condemn me for that?

I could walk from this and I am trying to decide if thats what I want to do.

I condemn you because when you went for the kiss she pulled back, BAM smooth move on her part, she sets the hook (kiss), she lets out the bait (relationship speak), SNAP you bite!

You may get her back but your getting her back with the way your going about things on her rules, this isn't up to you, that much she is making clear.

Walk or not, I'm simply trying to tell you this girl isn't special, but in your mind you have oneitus, the way you write about her looks like something from mills and boons, I believe your interest is so high your imagining all sorts of disney fantasy bollo(cs.

 

[Pathgen]

Ok I understand what you meant better now jonwon.

I wrote that way because I was trying to impress why I am in a dilemma. I am not one to believe that long-term material is based off of a girls attractiveness alone. I am considering her long-term because I am sexually attracted to her and she would make my life simple and easy.

As for my interest level being high your correct about that, its always been higher than most.

What does it matter if I get her back on her terms or mine. I know that if I were going to do something with her I would want LTR. I've known that since I broke up with her. We dated for a year and I was happy the whole time with a big smile on my face.

I hear what your saying, and thanks I didn't look at it from that angle and its made me see some things more clearly. For starters, I think the best thing now is to wait for her to contact me again.

 

[kingsam]

Im gona have to face this situation soon. My LTR will become an LDR and so a breakup must ensue.

I feel your pain brah

whay is it soon to be a LDR??
how old are u?

unless you want to go thru the PAIN of a LDR and the RL is even worth it...
then split up on "good terms" earlier - rather than later and you both resent each other (you may even be able to get back together if you dump her...if inthe future ur both single again - but dont count on it...)

 

[jonwon]

Ok I understand what you meant better now jonwon.

I wrote that way because I was trying to impress why I am in a dilemma. I am not one to believe that long-term material is based off of a girls attractiveness alone. I am considering her long-term because I am sexually attracted to her and she would make my life simple and easy.

As for my interest level being high your correct about that, its always been higher than most.

What does it matter if I get her back on her terms or mine. I know that if I were going to do something with her I would want LTR. I've known that since I broke up with her. We dated for a year and I was happy the whole time with a big smile on my face.

I hear what your saying, and thanks I didn't look at it from that angle and its made me see some things more clearly. For starters, I think the best thing now is to wait for her to contact me again.

You see, sorry to be a pain but, I feel I have to be to get through.

You wait for her to call?
You wait for her to respond to a kiss!
You wait for her to reciprocate!

You do alot of waiting.

Your interest is really high and you dont want to mess this up, so your allowing yourself to play like a lap-dog waiting on her beck and call.

All I am trying to point out to you, you may get her back, but it's totally and utterly her choice and it seems your willing to go along with this to not rock the boat, playing it safe if you will.

The point is, this chick isn't has special as your making out to be, so far she has sent you mixed signals, so far you've rewarded her with her knowing she has you where she wants you, unless she is totally fuc*ing clueless which I dont doubt for a second, since this is classic, push pull on her part, she knows your interested, she is simply stringing you along, for the purpose of either proving a point or trying to get inside your head.

I can understand her actions if you dumped her, but I suspect if you did the dumping, she wouldn't be acting like this.

This is a stab in the dark, but I believe she dumped you, now you want her back and your imagining all sorts of disney stuff about this chick, she has you in the zone -

She isn't special at all.

Now I suggest instead of waiting on her to initiate all the contact whilst you think 'what if', is to simply contact her and tell her you want to take her out.

Go for a meal, when she drops the friend line, which she will, simply turn around to her and say "I'm not seeing you to be just friends"!

If she respondes with anything but a smile, I suggest you move on!

I've got back with ex's before, they either do or they dont, but some string you along, to feed her validation, they dont mind playing the flirty games, but they have no intention to put out at ALL, no matter what tips or tricks you preform. If the interest is not there, your nothing but her emotional sponge.

Dont let her play you into her agenda. Which when looking at it and your post seems very much like an agenda to simply keep you hanging on the string, its time to call her bluff and see where you stand.

As for the relationship question simply answer 'let's see how it goes' Do not reward her by saying from the start your head over heals, make her think she has to work for your commitment - if you do get back with her.