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ex is "hoovering"

Ryan Adams

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not 100% sure she is but she recently unblocked me off of Facebook and started commenting on my friends posts people she knows i hang out with on a daily and her friend keeps making jokes saying we're gonna get back together etc. I know she's just feelin me out seeing what I'm gonna say. Next up im pretty sure she is going to magically show up at places I hang out. How should I react to her showing up? I don't want her back btw. Mind you she randomly left me and blocked me on all platforms all over text. Should I act like she isn't there or be mean?
She might not be hoovering but everything I gather it seems pretty well that she is. I just want to know to properly respond as to not give her any satisfaction
 
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Ryan Adams

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That would be "hovering" not "hoovering" lol.

Just block her. Out of sight, out of mind. If she shows up somewhere, ignore her or leave. If she approaches you just be cool and friendly but unemotional and keep it brief.
I want nothing do do with her romantically. I did learn alot of woman from dealing with that insane bvtch. I just want incase she's in public her to know it doesn't effect me at all.
 

Mike41090

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It’s funny you bought up this post because I believe my ex is doing the same thing, just verrryy subtly. Just when I was legit getting over her she texts me for the first time since breakup (6 months post bu) with condolences for a loose family member that passed away. Like the above poster mentioned, I kept it short, brief, unemotional and friendly. Didn’t really phase me. Then a few weeks after that she texts me says she’s praying for me during the protests (emergency worker). Basically had the same response. Thought I was good at first but then it started to bother me a little bit more but I’ve kept military contact on it. However, I’ve noticed small things through social media that make me believe she’s hovering. She’s in a lot of my brothers girlfriends snap stories (thier mutual friends) and she likes the same posts I like on Facebook. Could be a coincidence but my gut tells me otherwise. And usually the gut is always right when it comes to the opposite sex lol. I just simply find it interesting. Funny you mentioned this post at this time, just had no idea that it was called “hovering” or “hoovering”. I saw it as a light form of testing the waters so to speak.
 

Mike41090

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It’s funny you bought up this post because I believe my ex is doing the same thing, just verrryy subtly. Just when I was legit getting over her she texts me for the first time since breakup (6 months post bu) with condolences for a loose family member that passed away. Like the above poster mentioned, I kept it short, brief, unemotional and friendly. Didn’t really phase me. Then a few weeks after that she texts me says she’s praying for me during the protests (emergency worker). Basically had the same response. Thought I was good at first but then it started to bother me a little bit more but I’ve kept military contact on it. However, I’ve noticed small things through social media that make me believe she’s hovering. She’s in a lot of my brothers girlfriends snap stories (thier mutual friends) and she likes the same posts I like on Facebook. Could be a coincidence but my gut tells me otherwise. And usually the gut is always right when it comes to the opposite sex lol. I just simply find it interesting. Funny you mentioned this post at this time, just had no idea that it was called “hovering” or “hoovering”. I saw it as a light form of testing the waters so to speak.
The way i treat these things is legit take them at “face value” to the tee. I answer whatever she brings up or whenever she hovers, I replace her in my mind like an OLD friend is doing all of this, so my responses are kinda just simple, to the point and friendly, leaving them no space to stretch the convo further unless they push to do so. And even then I continue this tactic and continue no contact. I just go about it unphased
 

dude99

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not 100% sure she is but she recently unblocked me off of Facebook and started commenting on my friends posts people she knows i hang out with on a daily and her friend keeps making jokes saying we're gonna get back together etc. I know she's just feelin me out seeing what I'm gonna say. Next up im pretty sure she is going to magically show up at places I hang out. How should I react to her showing up? I don't want her back btw. Mind you she randomly left me and blocked me on all platforms all over text. Should I act like she isn't there or be mean?
She might not be hoovering but everything I gather it seems pretty well that she is. I just want to know to properly respond as to not give her any satisfaction
How should you react? Don't react. Be 100 % indifferent. She is there. You dont care. She leaves, no worries. She likes your posts, ignore. She sends you a message, ignore.

Dont be mean just have a 100% IDGAF attitude towards her. You dont want her back, you have moved on, go live your life.

Give her zero attention, zero reaction, if she at the same party as you do not go out of your way, if she does you say hello, be polite but closed.

She had her chance. That ship has sailed.

Best reaction is no reaction. If she gets annoying then you block her on all platforms. Just live your life
 

samspade

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I want nothing do do with her romantically. I did learn alot of woman from dealing with that insane bvtch. I just want incase she's in public her to know it doesn't effect me at all.
If you want her to know, you care a little about what she thinks. So this is what you've got to eliminate. There's nothing wrong with it, it's normal and you're on the right path. But at some point you truly will not care, if that makes sense.
 

Glassguy

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I want nothing do do with her romantically. I did learn alot of woman from dealing with that insane bvtch. I just want incase she's in public her to know it doesn't effect me at all.
She is already effecting you because you have now started a thread about it. You are so needy man.

You will never have an IDGAF attitude and you will always struggle with women. You have already said it yourself in your last thread about how you have problems not catching feelings.

Why do you care about this woman? You obviously do because of the thread about her.

This is like 7th grade shyte. "Oh man she unblocked me" (Because youve been checking every day more than likely).
"Oh man her friends are talking about us getting back together!" Who cares?
 

Barrister

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I want nothing do do with her romantically. I did learn alot of woman from dealing with that insane bvtch. I just want incase she's in public her to know it doesn't effect me at all.
Don't waste so much time worrying about her. I wouldn't even block her because that in and of itself is showing her you are affected by her. Just maintain NC and go out and have a good time. Whether that is with other women, your guy friends, or some individual activity you want to do.
 

Ryan Adams

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I truly don't care about 98% but I did unfortunatly love the woman to be left out of nowhere over a text then blocked on all platforms. So yeah it affected but now I don't get any feeling when i pics of her etc
 

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Many guys ask what to do in your situation, the answer is extremely simple, nothing! Doing anything means her actions affect your actions, which it should not if you don't care about her at all.

Just go about doing what you would do if she wasn't there doing and saying the things she does. Only if she interferes directly with your life do you need to take any action such as blocking, hovering is harmless and you can just ignore it.
 

Ryan Adams

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if she is even doing it at all she is doing it very subtle. She may not even be doing it but ny gut feeling tells me she is trying to subtly get my attention. Who knows thanks for the advice fellas. If she isn't directly impacting my life in any way completely ignore act as if she doesn't exist
 

In2theGame

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How should I react to her showing up
Like it doesn't bother you, in fact, if she talks to you, your attitude should be to respond back as if you were talking to a friend. You have other Women you should be persusing (Hotter/Sexier Ones). She left you and tossed you aside so now, shes nothing to you but just another human being that you had a close relationship.

I know it'll be tough because any guy who has been broken up with and dumped, doesn't take it lightly and we get emotionally amped up about it whether it's bottled up anger, resentment, sadness, anxiety etc. we sometimes still hold a grudge to that girl. Even by you asking this question on here shows it still either bothers you or stays on your mind about your ex and you, in some way, want to get back at her but trust me, its pointless.

if you do speak to her, do it in a normal way as you would with a friend. Remember, you should have other sexier Women in your slights. IF you really want to get under her skin just to satisfy your own ego, then if/when she asks or hints at maybe hanging out together sometime soon, you tell her thanks but im interested in someone else. She'll go crazy inside wondering who that other girl is. it'll probably cause her to pursue you now.
 

In2theGame

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For all you guys out there, Previous girlfriends always "hover" over you either in an obvious manner or in secret (majority). With so many avenues of social media in today's world, Women are curious and they take a "peek" at what their ex's are doing. Even if they are with someone else whether it'll be as a GF with another guy, Engaged or Married. There are exceptions here and there but mostly they do check up once in a while, you just dont know it.
 
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