"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Ex girlfriend

cognac

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So I've been chatting with my ex a bit lately. I'm the one that broke up with her a few years ago. She tells me she is in a bind financially and owes some money on some bills that have accrued over the past 2 months. About $150. I actually want to help her out. She says she might go into stripping to make some money cuz she is starting to get far behind. Told her that is disgusting, pisses me off and if she does start stripping I will not talk to her anymore basically. Told her I don't want to ever hear of her stripping or hear of it again. I have a firm belief against those clubs and the generality of what goes on behind the scenes there.

I told her I'd lend her $200 to sorta get caught up. I mean it's only 200, I've got money so it's just change to me. Today I started thinking about it. I'm the one that offered her the money for one. I'm surely never gonna see the money back no doubt. I actually want to help her but I started thinking maybe she just wants the money for something else. I dunno what ta do? Should I just forget about it and act like I never said such a thing? Damn conscience. lol
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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amoka

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If that is "just a change" to you, give it to her and dont expect to have it back. Dont worry about what she uses the money for. If after receiving the money and she still goes into stripping, do not talk to her again (as you already let her know in your chat with her).
 

cognac

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yeah. I told her no stripping. And to tell me(as in say I will not strip)she won't strip because I can't deal with someone who has no self respect flashing their body for money in front of perverts. And to not disappoint me.
 

jophil28

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cognac said:
So I've been chatting with my ex a bit lately. I'm the one that broke up with her a few years ago. She tells me she is in a bind financially and owes some money on some bills that have accrued over the past 2 months. About $150. I actually want to help her out. She says she might go into stripping to make some money cuz she is starting to get far behind. Told her that is disgusting, pisses me off and if she does start stripping I will not talk to her anymore basically. Told her I don't want to ever hear of her stripping or hear of it again. I have a firm belief against those clubs and the generality of what goes on behind the scenes there.

I told her I'd lend her $200 to sorta get caught up. I mean it's only 200, I've got money so it's just change to me. Today I started thinking about it. I'm the one that offered her the money for one. I'm surely never gonna see the money back no doubt. I actually want to help her but I started thinking maybe she just wants the money for something else. I dunno what ta do? Should I just forget about it and act like I never said such a thing? Damn conscience. lol
Cognac, what are you thinking ? Her financial problems are HERS, not your's..
You are being manipulated and used.

You are allowing her problems to be transferred across to you - a boundary violation.
You might want to stay on this site for a while longer to kill off your Capt-save-a- Ho mentality.
 

cognac

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Jophil I am using this as a test on her. $200 is nothing to me. I want to see what her reaction is and see how it pans out. So either way if I am being used or not it's gonna be her loss in the long run if she chooses the wrong path with me.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Ease

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cognac said:
Jophil I am using this as a test on her. $200 is nothing to me. I want to see what her reaction is and see how it pans out. So either way if I am being used or not it's gonna be her loss in the long run if she chooses the wrong path with me.
She probably knows how strongly you feel about her stripping.

She probably is using it to get a reaction and sympathy from you.

Sounds like your being manipulated.
 

jophil28

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cognac said:
Jophil I am using this as a test on her. $200 is nothing to me. I want to see what her reaction is and see how it pans out. So either way if I am being used or not it's gonna be her loss in the long run if she chooses the wrong path with me.
Why are you bothering to "test" an ex ? What do you want from her, or hope to gain ?
 

game.r

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cognac said:
yeah. I told her no stripping. And to tell me(as in say I will not strip)she won't strip because I can't deal with someone who has no self respect flashing their body for money in front of perverts. And to not disappoint me.
she's you ex why do u need to deal with her?

And if someone decides to go to a strip club that doesnt make them a pervert.
 

romangod

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cognac said:
Jophil I am using this as a test on her. $200 is nothing to me. I want to see what her reaction is and see how it pans out. So either way if I am being used or not it's gonna be her loss in the long run if she chooses the wrong path with me.
If you say this enough times to yourself you might actually believe it.

What is this need to "test" her?

Don't bullsh*t a bullsh*tter. :nono:

If you really want to test her try loaning her a few thousand bucks. It's her loss if it doesn't pan out. :whistle:

Cheers!
 

cedd

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And why are you going upster about her stripping ?
You are neither her bf nor her father, your are her EX !
I guess you dont want to imagine her (in bed) with a another guy, do you ?

if 200$ is change for you and you want help her out (if she deserves it), just give her that money and say "you will thank me later. Good luck".

one more good deed and you will get your wings !

cheers.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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cognac

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I thought about this. It is a bad idea. I actually started caring about her again through talkin with her. Shame on myself. i dunno what the hell ta tell her when she asks why I changed my mind.
 

cedd

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cognac said:
I thought about this. It is a bad idea. I actually started caring about her again through talkin with her. Shame on myself. i dunno what the hell ta tell her when she asks why I changed my mind.
Be honest. Nothing wrong with changing your mind. You dont owe her anything, then.
 

cognac

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I actually want to get back together with her. My mind is all over the place about it. The whole she wants to strip thing pissed me off. Nothing I can do about it anyway even if i tell her not to she'll end up doing it anyways.
 

cedd

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yes youre right. Its none of your business.
Stop contacting her. you will help YOU out !
 

sodbuster

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SO, WHY is she your EX? If you broke up with her, the same reasons will come back the first time you try to date her again.
 

“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

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squirrels

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A fool and his money are soon parted.

Jophil is right. If she wanted your cawk, she would HIDE her financial issues, rather than air them out. The fact that she is telling you about them says, at least to me, that she needs money and knows you have it.

Tell her to strip. Give her the money at the club for a lapdance. That way, she's at least paying you back with more than false hope.
 

romangod

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cognac said:
I actually want to get back together with her. My mind is all over the place about it. The whole she wants to strip thing pissed me off. Nothing I can do about it anyway even if i tell her not to she'll end up doing it anyways.

At least you're finally being honest with yourself. It was obvious to everyone but you. Still, I have no idea why you want to get back with her. She doesn't sound like much of a catch. Are you that desperate?


Cheers!
 

zekko

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I actually want to get back together with her. My mind is all over the place about it. The whole she wants to strip thing pissed me off. Nothing I can do about it anyway even if i tell her not to she'll end up doing it anyways.
You don't approve of her stripping, yet she wants to strip (or is at least open to the idea). I think that pretty strongly suggests that this woman is not a good match for you. Better to find someone who meets your standards.
 

SBW

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cognac said:
I told her I'd lend her $200 to sorta get caught up. I mean it's only 200, I've got money so it's just change to me.
I would guess that this is 200 to begin with - Then she may "need" a lot more. Still, your choice. My adage is "never lend what I'm not prepared to give"

As for the stripping, I've known quite a few over the years. Although I'm no fan of strip clubs (who wants to watch a pal adopt a fake persona and strip?) . All but one of them have been seriously troubled women who were disasters waiting to happen. Also, none of them would have much trouble making the equivalent of a few hundred dollars worth of tips/gifts in even an average night.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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