wonderbread said:
thanks all, i broke NC which looked like a good idea at the time but she did a 180 on me at the last minute. we were talkin and it started getting hot (she loves the way my voice sounds and since we live cant see eachother every day, you can infer what she was doing with me talking) we stopped talking for a lil while then she initiates contact with what i wanted for christmas and i didnt say you which i think made her jealous or mad and she says "well i cant give me to you because it wouldnt be fair" or something, even though I never even said anything about her for christmas all i said was i dont think im gettin what i asked for christmas. she starts like crying about her ex b4 me and how she still loves him but he doesnt want her and she tries to use me as a tampon and im thinking "are we FB's or FWB or are you just using me to get all your needs out before you go to someone else?" i didnt say this but i definately thought it. I definately want to continue Fing this girl but it seems like she's gone crazy or doesn't even know what she wants from me.
thanks DJs for your input, anymore is definitely appreciated but I'm most likely going to try and smooth things over so I can at least get something.
I'm not going to preach to the choir.. I think we all know why she's contacting you now. She's lonely for the holidays; every girl wants a guy during christmas; her ex isn't paying her attention, blah, blah, blah, yippity, yup.
I usually like to put myself in the poster's shoes when I reply, and from this point of view, I couldn't think of any reason you'd be posting this if you didn't care about her.
So since you do care about her, it's probably in your best interest to put this aside and forgot it ever happened. Yes, I know it's tough during the holidays when you don't have a woman giving you affection, but you must realize you're doing more harm to yourself than good in the end. In the end, she will stop talking to you when she finds another guy, and you'll be stuck with a feeling of 'what the f*ck just happened?'.
I too can associate with these things, because my EX too has been calling me the past few days, and I've been reciprocating only because I'm so bored. But that isn't even an excuse. We as men should not be so bored as to drop down to the level of talking to our EX's to get affection. We should be doing other things like planning how we are going to be successful or improving ourselves in other ways.
Next time your ex contacts you, just think to yourself the end result :
1) Come a week or two from now, she will be treating you just as a friend or will not be talking to you at all
2) You will be emotionally attached again, to some extent
3) You will have wasted precious time in which you could have found a woman to actually spend time with, or just time in which you could have made $$ or improved yourself.
Everytime I think of these things, it keeps me from giving in to the fact that it's the holidays and everyone who doesn't have a chick is sort of on the 'outs'. Remember however, this is such a myth. Men who are fully put together either have a chick at all times, or they don't even need one when it comes to these times. They have self-value that is worth 10x more than any female out there.
happy holidays
what do you want for christmas baby