ex gf.. what do you think?

[blackhatter]

Started seeing my ex again of 2 years. To me, it's more like a Fbuddy deal, but she's been hinting at wanting commitment, which is weird because she's moving away in like 1 month.

The only problem is that we aren't having as much sex as we used to. We used to f*ck 5 - 7 times a week.. Now it's more like 2 - 3.

I know, not terrible, but it's not what it used to be.

Her usual excuse is that she's hurting from me railing her out the night before or she wants to 'ease back into being so sexual so the relationship isn't all about sex, but I don't know if it's entirely true.

The most unexpected thing was tonight I was over her place chilling and was laying in bed with her bout to fall asleep and she looks at me and she says

"babe can I please sleep alone tonight? I have work at 7am (she does) and I sleep better alone."

Now she's never asked this of me before. But I've learned that flipping out is always the easiest route to take, so I calmly said

"Sure, no problem."

Go up, left, and she got up and kissed me goodbye.

It's notable that we got in a few fights over the weekend.

Maybe I'm just looking too much into things, but do you think she may just be keeping me there for comfort for now?

 

[TheBucketOfTruth]

She could just want to save up some vagina for other guys at other times in the week. Your quote of times per week was from when you guys were exclusive together two years ago, so it's not surprising that you guys aren't doing it as much. Are you even spending as much time together as back then? I doubt it. Or maybe she's just not into you like she was before.

Unless you're disappointed because you're only seeing her once a week and you're counting 2-3 times in that night, I'd say you're fine. Seeing her 2-3 times a week should be fine; the rest of the week should be saved for working, hanging out with guy friends, having sex with other women, etc.

 

[RFish]

Have you read Rollo's post about going back to an ex?

 

[KontrollerX]

Never root through the garbage once you drag the can to the curb. You get dirty, your neighbors see you do it and you rarely find what you thought was worth digging for.

It will always be time better spent developing a new plate (or 3) than attempting to repair an old one. The amount of effort and energy, the time you invest in trying to negotiate a previous GF desire is much better used with a new girl, with whom you have no prior history. I have no doubt you're emotionally invested in this, but you're far more likely to regret the effort you expend to repair it in comparison to meeting and developing with a new girl.

Far too many guys subconsciously think that getting back with the Ex will be easier than risking potential rejection with new women. They go back to the what they think was their "sure thing", with the logic being that she'd been sexual with him before so all he's got to do is fix what was wrong and go back to that guaranteed sex. The reality is actually the opposite - what was "wrong" in the prior relationship becomes the litmus test for the 'repaired' relationship and sex and genuine desire are now conditional. Getting with a new woman has none of these conditions or prior negotiations, and genuine desire isn't a compromise.

There you go.

 

[blackhatter]

I don't want to get back with her; I want that sex life we used to have.

I am seeing other women, however the sex with her used to be great. I mean the whole point of a Fbuddy is to F right?

I'm probably seeing her 4-5 times a week; half of the time getting sex. So the logic here is to cut down on the times I see her and she'll crave sex more? I don't really know.

Sometimes I feel as if when I don't see her for a few days and kind of blow her off, then she comes running, panties at her ankles. But then sometimes she takes it as me being shallow and is like 'well you seem really interested in me lately' (sarcasm).

 

[handle]

She's leaving in a month, right? why stress? Just get the respectable amount of sex you're getting and enjoy it. No need to let your "must get as much sex as possible" mindset ruin a good thing. I'd be more concerned if this was something that'll be prolonged over a lengthy period, but this is just a month. Enjoy your bonus ex-sex.