Ex Gf wants to talk.....

[SSBS]

I had a GF of 7+ years break up with me, and I made every mistake possible during the relationship and breakup. I wish I'd known about this board, or a place like it at the time, but I didn't.

One day out of the blue, she calls me, says she wants to meet me and talk, so I go to meet her, confused as to why we need to have this talk. I meet her in a park. We sit together, she apologizes to me and says that she wishes she didn't act this way or that way, blah blah blah.

Then we part ways. I go to the local watering hole, sit at the bar and have a beer and wonder to myself "WTF just happened" and then, it hit me like a ton of bricks.

The whole episode was about her trying to make herself feel better.

Once I had that realization, it felt like the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders, and I actually smiled.

I think that was the day that I "unplugged"

I think it's a pretty safe bet that this meet and chat with your ex is solely for her benefit. This is her chance to convince herself that everything is alright.

Don't give it to her.

 

[MedDude]

It's been two months now since the break up. I have maintained NC since then. She has texted me twice, both asking if we can meet up to talk about why exactly that she left. I politely told her that I was finished talking about all of it.
We've ran into each other in public only once and she asks if I'll ever talk to her again, I tell her that I would someday eventually. Someday I actually might, but only when I'm ready.

I still have pangs of loneliness and weakness about it, but I never act on them. That would be self destructive. I can vouch for the theory that staying busy and doing what you enjoy helps one feel better through all of this. Being dumped isn't fun. It basically made me feel worthless. I know that isn't the case, though. I (you, we, all of us) have much to offer.

I am slowly seeing the light at the end of the tunnel now, though. It's good for the ego that there are already a few girls asking me to go out. But one can't hang on to anger and spite and expect to live a healthy life. I have to let it go, all of it. Accept that it's over and drop the anger and learn from it and move on.

Hopefully someday I can be friends with her. But for now, I'm dropping all of these negative feelings and redirecting all of this energy to something more positive that will benefit myself. I'm going to focus on my career, focus on being the best person I can be, focus on helping others, and focus on loving life again. There's no point in being angry anymore. Forgive the person, forgive yourself. Live, love, and learn.

Thanks for the advice guys.

 

[Gro0ver]

It's been two months now since the break up. I have maintained NC since then. She has texted me twice, both asking if we can meet up to talk about why exactly that she left. I politely told her that I was finished talking about all of it.
We've ran into each other in public only once and she asks if I'll ever talk to her again, I tell her that I would someday eventually. Someday I actually might, but only when I'm ready.

I still have pangs of loneliness and weakness about it, but I never act on them. That would be self destructive. I can vouch for the theory that staying busy and doing what you enjoy helps one feel better through all of this. Being dumped isn't fun. It basically made me feel worthless. I know that isn't the case, though. I (you, we, all of us) have much to offer.

I am slowly seeing the light at the end of the tunnel now, though. It's good for the ego that there are already a few girls asking me to go out. But one can't hang on to anger and spite and expect to live a healthy life. I have to let it go, all of it. Accept that it's over and drop the anger and learn from it and move on.

Hopefully someday I can be friends with her. But for now, I'm dropping all of these negative feelings and redirecting all of this energy to something more positive that will benefit myself. I'm going to focus on my career, focus on being the best person I can be, focus on helping others, and focus on loving life again. There's no point in being angry anymore. Forgive the person, forgive yourself. Live, love, and learn.

Thanks for the advice guys.

Amen brother! This story has put a smile on my face

 

[perseverance]

That's a fantastic post and one that has put a smile on my face too.

You've acted maturely, you've let go and you're moving on with life, this is what everyone should do. Kudos to you.

 

[Atom Smasher]

When a girl breaks up with you, beware her tendency to want to come back and talk about it. Men mistake this for her having feelings for him, as if she suddenly came to her senses. This is most likely not the case, for if she had feelings she wouldn't have ended it in the first place (something she thought about for months first). She's simply keeping you around until she is over you.

There's a lot more truth here than meets the eye. Excellent point, Neil. You are exactly right that men usually mistake this for her having feelings for him when all it is is her wanting to tie it up with a bow so she can get on with her life guilt-free.

 

[MM92]

Meet with her, act like you care about her feelings, seduce her into having sex with you again, and then later act like that never happened. Ignore her for a while, and then tell her you need space. And then continue to ignore her like everyone here is telling you to do.

THIS. That's IF you can stick to it, which it seems like you probably wouldn't be able too. If you still feel like there are strong feelings there it's best to leave it be.

Only just realised this was from a while back, didn't read it all through. Glad to hear all is going well!