"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Ex gf has possessions of mine..

jay07

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Hello all.

So my ex gf has some possessions of mine. At first i didnt care, i initiated NC to heal cause she really screwed me over and it messed with my head. Shes actually BPD, thats how i stumbled across this forum in which i actively come to now because of all the cool advice.

However, a week ago i tried closing out my netflix account and because she has a dvd they told me im unable to close it. I tried again a few days later and it kept saying error.

She also has a car audio system worth about $450 that i let use while we were together, but she never used it. She let it sit in her room. Recently, my audio has began taking a turn for the worst due to the cold weather.

The audio im really not THAT concerned over, its water under the bridge, but if i could get it back that would be a bonus. The dvd however im getting charged $25 a month for and i havnt used their service in over a year.

I've been 2 months NC now, is it worth breaking NC and asking her to put it in a postal box, or should i call them and try to settle it?

If so, should i ask for the audio equipment back, and what should i say?

Thanks.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Packers2010

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dude this **** is costing you money! real money! go get your **** back ASAP!

who cares about NC. get your stuff then burn her ass!
 

JohnnyStorm

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When I left my bpd ex I secretly spirited out everything I had at her place over a period of a week or two...well I thought I did.
Her place was a complete mess, turns out I had stupidly left my dad's ring there some point a few months before and it was nowhere to be seen. It wasn't mega expensive but it had sentimental value, but I thought it was a price to pay to be out of that relationship.

For what it's worth, I don't actually think she kept it, just lost it in her ****hole room.

If you want the stuff back then you have to break no contact. Just ask for them as if you are dealing with a normal person, if you receive a ridiculous reply then it's either turn up at her place and risk being drawn back in or just to write off the value of the stuff.

Good luck!
 

rhythmic

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I'm in a similar position, it's not costing me money though - she just has a few sentimental things I foolishly left there. I'm not in a rush to get the stuff back, so I plan on completing NC, then maybe leaving a bit of extra time before calling.

You on the other hand... I guess you should get in there ASAP, if you keep it STRICTLY about the stuff, it doesn't really count as breaking NC, just like work. Ideally have someone else (IDEALLY a hot girl, haha) pick up the stuff for you?
 

5string

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It's just stuff. Do you really wish to engage her once again and risk being hoovered by a bpd who will fvck you up?

Let it go and run. Cut your losses.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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willem20

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Man the **** up and go there. Even by acting you don't give a ****, you will eventually not give a **** anymore.
 

bish0p

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5string said:
It's just stuff. Do you really wish to engage her once again and risk being hoovered by a bpd who will fvck you up?

Let it go and run. Cut your losses.
yeah, but he should at least get the dvd back. Even if he wanted to keep netflix, he probably won't be able to rent another movie until he returns the dvd.
 

5string

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bish0p said:
yeah, but he should at least get the dvd back. Even if he wanted to keep netflix, he probably won't be able to rent another movie until he returns the dvd.
Hear ya. My only point is that is the stuff worth the risk of his sanity and emotional well being? 5string say no.
 
B

BeDJ

Guest
Be happy it wasn't a child.

Just file a complaint with your CC on the DVD that it was returned.
 
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