"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Ex-Gf constantly calling after I shunned her

cw92

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Yeah so, I try not to make threads, but I feel really good about this experience.

So I was at a Starbucks, about to buy some Hot Chocolate. My girlfriend was out in the car (yeah she can drive, I can't), and in comes my ex-girflriend. The only positive thing I have to say about her is that she was the one that caused me to realize that I needed a change. I wont go into details about how she used me, but I had extreme one-itis for her. She has a bf btw, who she claims she loves.

Anyway the Convo went like this :

Her: Omg! Chris how are you!
Me: Oh hey..
Her:I havent seen you in forever!
Me: Guess those Lucky Charms , dont really work.
Her: What? (Confused look)
Me: I've gotta go my girlfriend's waiting for me. It was nice seeing you.
Her: Can't you stay a little longer?
Me: Nope, Bye. (Smiling)

1 hour later...

Text

Her: You owe me a meal
Me: What are you talking about?
Her: You insulted me earlier
Me: I was wondering when you would get that, but im busy.
Her: Call me.

I didnt, now she has called once yesterday and twice today.

Wtf? How can women change at the drop of a dime?

I felt good, but a little sad like I hurt her feelings. I'm a little torn over it, but I will DEFINATELY not contact her again. Just another testament to how great this site is. A year ago she wouldnt even return my phone calls.


I feel like she is trying to string me along like before, and I refuse to go down that road. I guess it helps that I have a girlfriend now or else I probally would have probally stayed there.

EDIT: One of her friends just called me, (This girl said i was a loser and told her to breka up with me), and said that my ex-gf was wondering why I didnt call. I just said I was busy.

I guess the best revenge is really "living well."

Just thought I'd share this with you all, though I still have a LONG way to go in bulding my confidence.
 
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"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Daniel1099

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im interested in what other DJ's have to say when something like this happens
 

horaholic

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There is a discussion in the mature man right now about how women seem to move on at the drop of a hat. My argument there is that they just bury their feelings, so after the initial breakup they seem cold hearted and jump onto another dude quickly, but if she ever had REAL feelings for you, they will resurface eventually, while us guys tend to deal with the feelings, and finally accept it and get over it. Th e OP's ex is a good example supporting my theory of this.
 

cw92

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its just, she used me and then dumped me. She moved on to another guy in about 2-3 weeks, which killed my self confidence. Maybe she really did have feelings for me, I kind of laugh at that thought. Oh well.
 

volks33

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I can't really help you but I'm going through the same deal, hang in there... There are far better girls out there (sounds like you are "moving on" nicely). I found that ignorance works wonders, it doesn't really pay off to even respond to her when she begs for your attention.

Thanks horaholic for your last post, I had a hard time understanding that when it happened in my life.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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r0cky

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$100 says she will ignore you if you call her. She only wants you to call her to fix up her ego and get back up to her pedestal after you knocked her down at the starbucks. Dont call her, you don't need her.
 

randalll

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how many of you guys would use this situation, described by the OP, to catch up with her, with the sole purpose of sleeping with her again?

but not getting attached of course.

my (kind of) ex talked to me today for the first time in ages, asked me to go for a drink with her and some friends

i refused, but i was wondering what people here would've done, (btw, we didn't split up on good terms, she was my first and she cheated etc etc)

i didnt act afc then, and i haven't now, but would you have used this situation to sleep with her again?
 

Pakwah

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Just imagine her and a friend sitting around and your ex saying something like -
Yeah Chris still likes me, i could get him back if i wanted to.....

Imagine though that is the only reason she is being friendly, just to know 'she still has you'

And that right after you call or something, she hangs up, laughs and thinks what a loser you are.

So yeah, never make that initial first approach so easy, she wants to be your friend again? She screw you over? She hurt you? Now its her turn to work for your friendship, and you decide wether or not she is worthy again.

Having a new gf or not, the best thing was said, be comfortable with yourself.
 

DJDamage

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Run and don't look back.

Women always want what they can not have, and if they know they have it, they will abuse it, toss it aside and go after something else that seems unattainable.

She craves your attention again but not your body. If you give her attention she will use it, abuse it and then drop you on your ass again. She probably wanted to be your "friend" after she dumped you in which case you said the smart thing and that is a big fvcking:

[size=+4]NO!!![/size]

Don't be a woman's friend after she dumped you.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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mrtrinidad

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OMG....I just posted a thread earlier about wether or not I should answer my ex's calls. You guys definately gave me all the right answers :cheer:

My ex & I haven't slept together in over a month, as I have cut her off to get over my Oneitus. I stopped speaking to her as well as returning her text since our last conversation last week where I made the mistake of taking her phone call - which was like one of the most ackward conversations I have ever had with a female - nothing but small cheesy talk with alot of silence - she even wanted to go out for some drinks because she know that I am still going on vacation without her next week & even with another female friend & her sister. She called me and even text to say Happy Hump Day on Valentines day, which I made sure not to answer or respond to :D ) I didn't even answer her out of the blue phone call today.

It hurts like hell right now because I miss all the freaky sex we had - but there is no better feeling than when you let a woman know that her ***** no longer controls you & your not running them down for it no more :down:

I really appreciate this forum becauase it helps me to keep strong knowing that eventually my ex might realize her loss & try the same **** as yours just did :box:
 

theunflushables

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Chris, she only wants you because she can't have you. She wants to plant seeds of doubt in your mind so you come crawling back to her. Notice how she asks you to stay a little longer AFTER you mention your girlfriend? She let something good get away and now she is kicking herself for it. Just continue living well and forget about her.
 
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