Ex GF Birthday Wish....

[Slick101]

Broke up december 2009 about 2 years broke my heart and tried contacting me many times within months I never responded. Its my bday today and she messaged me this

Hey Alex....Mom and I were drinking tea (of course) talking about you and your birthday lol...she talks about you all the time lol Just wanted to say hi and hope you enjoy your birthday Hope everything is well with you hope school is going well too. Tell your sister I said hi and that I was thinking of her. Talk to you later xoxo

Idk if shes still in love or wants me back, i ignored her for a very long time, those of u who know me... Know my situation with her due to my past threads
And im looking for an opinion because alot of u put me on right track. I want to respond but at same time im scared, should i just man up and message her bak or ignore her like before?

 

[5string]

slick

I went back and looked at a couple of your threads. You had a pretty bad case of oneitis.

Maintain radio silence. You don't want her getting back into your head.

 

[Slick101]

Really?... Its just been sooo long u think this silence is killing her?

 

[PokerStar]

she wants to play you bro.

 

[5string]

she wants to play you bro.

Exactly!

Somebody on here said "the best revenge is to live on inside her head".

Maintain radio silence.

 

[pinhas]

^ agreed!

Plus her wish wasn't anything special IMO; she wished you a happy birthday, inquired on some of your family members and that's it.

I think you are reading too much into this. Go enjoy your birthday, meet new people and keep on living.

Happy B-Day BTW!

 

[Slick101]

I dont understand how shes playing me tho lol.... can somebody explain?

 

[5string]

I dont understand how shes playing me tho lol.... can somebody explain?

She wants attention slick. They all do. If they don't get it, they become frustrated and try to "generate" attention. If you don't give it to her, it'll drive her nuts.

Lay low.

 

[ChalengeGuyFan]

Wanna bet he'll respond to her message?

 

[PDubb75]

I think the confusion here is... why does he need to drive her nuts? Are you guys just saying that as some sort of revenge for breaking up with him? Or are you telling him how to get her to come crawling back?

If this girl is in his past, and she won't be in his future, I don't see why it matters if he responds or not.

The only issue I see is the possibility of her trying to become "friends" or some crap like that. But, when it comes to a girl you aren't trying to game, it's easy to turn that down if it came to it.

What I would NOT do, is respond with some long email, answering all of her little questions, or it will just come off as if you couldn't wait to hear from her. If you respond just saying thanks and that you are doing well, I don't see where it could really hurt. I'm sure I'll get backlash here for that, but whatever.

And feel free to tell me why I'm wrong, if you feel that way. I'm just not seeing it.

 

[women haze]

I agree with you PDubb75....If he is over her , and you realize that you will not be in her future. Just say thanks, and that your life is wonderful family is great thanks for your consideration ~_^...
Keep it moving my friend....If she texts back after that then do not respond. HAVE FUN! Happy birthday!!! I'd Buy you a drink if i could...Enjoy this day and don't be sad.

 

[HolyG]

No. Don't respond.

This ***** clearly played you in the past, broke your heart, stomped on it. You think she did it with a twinge of regret? She did not.

There's nothing "manning up" about messaging her back. Do I "man up" when I put my socks on? Equally stupid, right? You see what I'm saying.

Girls are like cats. they want attention. Soon as you give it to them, they are validated, and spring off leaving you in the cold.

sooo...dont' give it to her. READ JARIEL'S THREAD, HE SAYS IT BETTER THAN I EVER COULD.

 

[teacha]

If you are truly over her, then yeah, go ahead and talk to her but don't talk to her because deep-down in your heart, you're secretly hoping you two are gonna become more than friends again.

I can tell that a part of you still cares for her and that will ultimately be your downfall. like Anti-Dump said, protect your heart and do not treat it like an enemy. She broke your heart dude, don't make the same mistake twice.

 

[Deadly_Ripped]

I had to do no contact for like 3 months when my most recent ex broke up with me. We tried being friends, but in the end after about a month of that I told her not to contact me for a while.

Once getting over her (mostly - still not 100%), I saw only 2 options when she contacted me (she did this after about 4 months of us being apart).

Either:
1. Tell her never to contact me again, explaining that I do not want her to be a part of my life.

2. Show her that I'm over her by being friendly but not acting like we really know each other i.e. more like people who knew each other in high school - not looking for details of our lives but generally cordially interested in hearing the overarching status of her life.

I chose option 2. Part of my wanted to tell her to F-off, and I still think about doing it every time she contacts me to say hi or to tell me she's thinking about me. Instead I go the cold route - no affection shown - completely cordial - like an acquaintance.

Forget radio silence. If I were you, I'd politely text her saying "you are not a part of my life any more. Please stop contacting me." or something like that. A part of me regrets not doing exactly that with my ex. I think that deep down inside they really want to know that they have power over you and that you're still an option for them if they wanted it. It makes them feel secure no matter what their situation is... a little ego boost as well.

 

[Slick101]

Well i mantained radio silence... Im deff over her i never respond, sometimes i feel like it but honestly i cant due to our past, she was a big part of my life tho years ago, but time changes right. Never look back...

 

[betheman]

if you were over her you wouldnt have started this thread.
women love to believe they have the ability to keep a man dangling, like a cat with a ball of wool, come back to it later when they are bored, she wants to jerk your chain. yeah by not replying she will be a little curious and still wonder wat you are thinking, if she really wants you she will bust gut to prove it to you.

her mum talks about you all the time????????? she hasnt even got the guts to tell you its her that thinking about you, she is conemptable.
My reply? "hey! thanks, school is going well, birthday was really good, the best, sis says Hi too, your mom always was cool "
no kisses, no well wishing, no asking how she is, just that and leave it.
I dont know your story but her text is pretty calculating and ITS NOT ABOUT TELLING YOU HOW MUCH SHE LOVES YOU.

 

[stayfly]

don't listen to these people saying not to contact her. they have good intentions but it's too extreme.

respond and say thanks for the message and you hope all is well for her.

this no contact thing is childish and not helpful.

 

[stayfly]

and by the way exes are not evil for breaking up with someone.

 

[backbreaker]

. Im deff over her i never respond,

lol who the hell are you fooling

This is alot like AA. There are very hard set in stone rules to AA, that ****ing work. It works if you work it. Call your sponsor everyday, go to 90 meetings in 90 days,, follow the steps, etc.


Every once in a while.. more than every once in a while, more lke everyday, you get someone that comes along, that tries to out think the steps and tries to question "why do we have to do this" or, "well, I don't need to do that, that's a little too extreme" etc and they get away with not doing it for a while, and they are like see I knew I didn't' have to do this ****, only to find themselves, in someone's detox center or in a crackhouse a few months later asking themselves how the **** did they get back in this situation this quickly lol.

IN fact, I have found in AA, that the smartest people, usually have the hardest problem getting it, they try too hard to think about what does and doesn't work.

I say that to say this.. there are some posters here, who have this **** down to a T, myself included.


You don't have to ****ing understand the rationale behind something to do it.

Dude, your best ****ing thinking when it comes to women, got you in a situation where you are hoovering and debating if you should or should not respond to a woman that you broke up with

I dont understand how shes playing me tho lol.... can somebody explain?/QUOTE]


That's too many of you guys damn problem you want to understand everything and if doesn't make sense to you, you decide if you will or wills ot do it. right now it's not for you to ****ing understand. And yes, I could very well explain to you exctly why 1. you are getting played, 2. more than likely, exactly what is going to happen in the next 1-2-4 weeks if you were to contact her.. probably even if you were not to contact her as well, and 3. why you are even posting this in the first place. But that's too much info right now. right now,k you just need to delete, dismiss, move on. do not contact her.

YOu will hit a point one day, when the **** hurts so bad, that you will want to actually listen to people who have been through there and now have control over their lives with women. you aren't there. you aren't close to being there. When you are there, you will seek out advice, and follow it unconditionally becuase it will be clear to you that you have no ****in clue what you are doing. You still think you are in control, and that could not possibly be more incorrect.

If you have a problem, you get advice, you follow it, and one day iuf you dont' already you will start to understand why things work a certain way and why certain thins work another way. When you don't contact her, and she acts accordingly you will see why we said not to contact her with your own two eyes and you will say "oh okay i see now, damn these dudes were right".

 

[TizZle]

OP. My ex(broke up sept '10) contacted me 2 weeks ago on saturday night. I was intoxicated and texted her back. We talked a little the next couple days(WTF was i thinking, lol) i got some,"i miss us being together" and " i want your arm around me while i fall asleep" type BS texts. a few hours after that "arm around me text" Then she proceeds to call me later that sunday night asking bs questions like " do you hate me? well do you like me? you just want to sleep with me...?" after i got off the phone from that call my mind was like WTF. We had one more phone conversation and a few more texts then on wednesday i shot her a text and never got a reply. week and a half later here i am still no reply.

Long story short. Don't reply.

P.S. I figure the b1tch was just seeking some sort of validation.