"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Ex GF / Baby mama drama - Need advice

C

cdoubled05

Don Juan
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Hey guys, a few months ago a 4 1/2 year relationship with the mother of my child was ended. She broke up with me. I still see her pretty frequently because she hangs out with all my friends and well I have to see her to deal with issues regarding our child. Anyways, recently she started her clubbing career (she's not 21 but manages to get in with fake ID's all the time) I myself am not 21 yet so I cant go with all my friends who she happens to go out with. My ex cheated on me with one of my best friends about a year or so into our relationship. I took her back and became friends with the guy who she cheated on me with. (I regret taking her back now, but I would not have my wonderful son either if that would have been the case) I am still good friends with the guy who slept with her back then. He also is in an LTR now with a child himself. We have never really said anything about that incident except for the day he told me what he did. He apoligized to me back then, we stopped hanging out for a while and then became friends again one day.

It was his 22nd bday yesterday and they all went out clubbing and had a really wild time. I've been coping with the breakup fairly well lately. I was really messed up at first and even posted my story here a while back for some advice. I dont even know why am I posting this now but I feel like I just need to get it off my chest or something. Is it normal that I am still good friends with the guy who banged my gf while I was dating her a few years ago? I know she lap danced with him and god knows what else with him in the club last night. (but so did all the other chicks that went, it was his bday after all) It makes me feel awfully strange when I was told by my ex gf what they all did last night. I know I will not work things out with my ex and am actually kind of glad that I am single again now. I keep reading the DJ bible and trying to apply things that I learn. Then I remind myself that I dont need a woman to be happy in life. Uggh I really wish I could explain myself and my problems a lil bit better but I am truly confused as to what I am feeling at times.

I guess what I am asking is, should I even be worried about dating and women at this point? What should I be focusing on as far as myself goes? What can I do to make this process easier on myself? Plz feel free to ask any questions because I would be glad to elaborate as it really helps for me to talk about this.

Here is the first post I put up when we first broke up...my feelings have definitely changed since when I typed this up.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=97092
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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El MonoLoco

Master Don Juan
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Chico, Ca, USA
Your still young....the kid part is gonna suck but you'll manage...

I would focus on school or your job...find another chick.....stop being friends with that other guy (huge mistake in my book)....find new friends....
 
penkitten

penkitten

Master Don Juan
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at our house
focus on you and everything else will fall into place. be a good man and a good father and things will work out in the end. you will eventually find someone worthy of you and your daughter.
 
L

Last Man Standing

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This is what you get when you keep company with hors!!! Do NOT have a baby with a hor --- ooops too late - you did. Your b/f g/f committment was with the hor that is now your "baby's mama" and not this dude - she is the one to avoid and the one to be scorned but now the hor has become a mother - too late for you to avoid contact - do not hang out with any of them - get a life and move on from this crowd!!
 
C

cdoubled05

Don Juan
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Mar 29, 2006
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I thought it was awkard that I hung out with the guy too. We are pretty good friends however. I guess it's about time I got a new crew of people to hang out with. I got a new roommate moving in with me soon and I think that ought to make the process a lot easier. Thanks for the advice. Not what I wanted to hear really but I guess the truth hurts.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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L

Latinoman

Master Don Juan
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Apr 21, 2006
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You are very young.

My advice is:

Start a new circle of friends. Only talk to her when it comes to your child. I'm assuming you are charged child support...well, do you know that she can actually pay child support if you have sole custody of the child?

Anyway...why would she wants to hang out with YOUR circle of friends? Why would they want to allow her to do "lap dances" on them? That tells me that they are not truly your friends.

And if you notice that she is neglecting your child...then you should do something about it. He is your child too and should be your NUMBER ONE priority.

Last Man Standing made a blunt statement...but he is right too.
 
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