"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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ex g/f wished me happy birthday. why????

Robert28

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so i get a message on facebook today from my ex g/f wishing me a happy birthday. why would she do that when we brokeup in March? the reason we brokeup is because she completely stopped talking to me out of the blue for reasons i still don't know. we never even had an official "breakup talk". she just vanished. well a couple months go by and she adds me on facbook. i didnt say anything to her about it then, i just accepted her friend request and left it at that. even when she stopped talking to me in March i didn't blow up her phone or much, i kinda got the hint after the few texts and 3 phone calls weren't returned that we must the finished. anyways, i got tired of seeing her post about her kid every 5 mins so i deleted her. i figured she wouldn't miss me since she must not want anything to do with me after how shes acted towards me. in her email today she threw in a "well i was going to post happy birthday on your wall but it looks like we aren't friends anymore...so happy birthday hon!". WTF???!!!! hon???? no $h!t we arent friends anymore you dumb@ss, you stopped talking to me out of the blue and gave me no reason at all and now you expect me to keep you around on my facebook???? what an idiot.

what i don't get is why women go through this stage the first two years of being a mom where they don't want anything to do with a man, sex, anything...theyre all about babies, all about their kid. yet when those first two years are up theyre back to prowling hard after a man and put there kid off on someone else and expect men to fawn all over them even though they wanted nothing to do with any man for 2 years or so. that's what this girl did i think. when we were dating she was all about her kid, her kid, her kid. nothing else mattered. now apparently thats not all that matters and she wants to know why we arent friends and stuff after the way she treated me. total b.s. on her part if you ask me.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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LE6END

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You're thinking about this incredibly too hard, man.. Over-analysis will be the death of you. Stop running yourself insane wondering WHY women do the things they do. She nexted you; cut your losses, leave her alone. Don't respond to her; you didn't f-ck up, she did.

She said happy birthday, after ignoring you. The world isn't ending... If you feel compelled to respond, just reply "thank you", and keep it moving.

Stop trying to break down an email, and get all into why she did it if you broke up, and this, that & the third.

You are wasting your time dissecting and attempting to understand irrational creatures.
 

Johnnyventana

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Huh? "what i don't get is why women go through this stage the first two years of being a mom where they don't want anything to do with a man, sex, anything...theyre all about babies, all about their kid."

What is the above based on? Some theory as to why she stopped talking to you?

How old is she to have this kid? Where's the dad? She sounds crazy.

A better theory: She thought she found the man of her dreams, she ignored you because she sucks and couldn't tell you. The man of her dreams booted on the B, and she used your birthday as an excuse to re-engage or re-cycle you. It is after all, easier to go after known prey than to find new ones.
 

Robert28

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Johnnyventana said:
Huh? "what i don't get is why women go through this stage the first two years of being a mom where they don't want anything to do with a man, sex, anything...theyre all about babies, all about their kid."

What is the above based on? Some theory as to why she stopped talking to you?

How old is she to have this kid? Where's the dad? She sounds crazy.

A better theory: She thought she found the man of her dreams, she ignored you because she sucks and couldn't tell you. The man of her dreams booted on the B, and she used your birthday as an excuse to re-engage or re-cycle you. It is after all, easier to go after known prey than to find new ones.

yeah it was just something ive noticed about alot of "new mothers". single mothers especially. its hard to explain what im talking about but i think if alot of guys sat down and thought about it they would agree. shes 26 and the dads dead and shes still grieving over him i think. hell who knows. i was just confused as to why shed drop off the face of the earth all of a sudden and then come wish me happy birthday 5 months later. and call me hon to top it off.lol i mean its not like shes a 40 year old chain smoking waitress named Alice or anything that calls all her customers hon.lol
 

Johnnyventana

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I'd reply, "Dude! Thanks! So, what have you been up to since we last spoke?"

This would be to totally F with her of course, since what I wrote is likely true: "A better theory: She thought she found the man of her dreams, she ignored you because she sucks and couldn't tell you. The man of her dreams booted on the B, and she used your birthday as an excuse to re-engage or re-cycle you. It is after all, easier to go after known prey than to find new ones."

Young single mothers often see their friends going out and partying and having fun. Yes, they are smitten with their babies, but it doesn't mean they don't want to have fun. She's probably stuck at home a lot and is thus re-cycling through her black book. Something is up with her. It was likely another guy.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Beowolf

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I just got the ex HB email also. I texted back: Basta Putanna! Which in Italian means-Enough you *****! Her ***** was in an uproar for awhile, but she finially stopped. Who cares why? She disrespected you. Dump her or turn her into a fighting ***** to get you back.
 
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BlackwaterPark

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A women who doesn't even have the decency to break up with you properly doesnt merit a response. She is one of those types who'll hit you up only when they need you, and your interactions will be a one way street. Cut her off and get on living. I swear, one the keys to living happily is regarding these toxic users/takers like tumours. Get rid of them asap.
 

Mike32ct

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I think you are reading too much into this also. Women are way more into birthdays than men are. Chicks remember the birthdays for their entire extended family, social circle, and maybe half their Facebook friends lol. Receiving a "Happy Birthday" email or text is very common, even from chicks you haven't heard from in months. Honestly, it's neutral and means nothing.
 

f283000

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You're thinking about this incredibly too hard, man.. Over-analysis will be the death of you. Stop running yourself insane wondering WHY women do the things they do. She nexted you; cut your losses, leave her alone. Don't respond to her; you didn't f-ck up, she did.

She said happy birthday, after ignoring you. The world isn't ending... If you feel compelled to respond, just reply "thank you", and keep it moving.

Stop trying to break down an email, and get all into why she did it if you broke up, and this, that & the third.

You are wasting your time dissecting and attempting to understand irrational creatures.
Great advice!

My only question to OP is why did you accept her friend request? So any woman can just completely ignore your ass for months and you like a good little boy will accept her friend request like if nothing happened? That right there is very little self respect that you showed.

You should have never accepted her friend request. You need to learn to delete women from your life. Delete their phone#, their facebook, their IM, pictures and everything.

btw why did she send you a msg? It's a psychological game women play. They like to mess with your mind. They will send you a message out of the blue to f** up with your emotions. There's nothing to gain by you but everything to gain for her (your attention, ego boost, getting psychological revenge, feeling wanted again even though she has no intention to f*** you).

You can bet good money that any woman that treated me disrespectfully/gave me the friend card or dumped me is not getting ANYMORE attention or replies to any message ever again from me.
 

Scars

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In short, she's "checking up" on you.

Another question to ponder as f283000 mentioned is why did you accept her friend request in the first place?

This girl is playing the psychological warfare game with you. Probably a typical case of a BPD female. Don't get sucked back into her trap. You guys are broken up for a reason, so keep it that way. There's no reason she should be back in your life/on your friends list. The less she knows, the better.

-Scars
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Delly2000

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I think its too early to speculate the reason for her wishing you happy birthday like if its if she wants to get back with you or checking up or whatever. It could be either or on this front. And yes it doesn't make "sense". But its wht they do. I had an ex do that to me (fb message on my birthday) after she met someone else. I just didn't respond. Then just deleted her from my facebook so I didn't have to see all the stupid posts about how much fun she was having with her new beau.

I know why your ex disappeared though. Like someone said she found another dude she was crazy about. She isn't worth taking back if thats what she wants from you obviously.

What I admire which no one hasn't touched on is how well I think you have handled the situation. It doesn't seem to have bothered you much. This is good.
 
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