Ex contacts me NOW....

[TheOne21]

Alright fellas, gonna try keep it simple and brief..

Met a girl, both in our mid 20's, liked her, she liked me back. Asked her out. Dated for a few months..

We're both Asians but of different races. She told me early on that her family would never accept me as I'm not the "correct type" of Asian. Soon after being together, she told me we have to break up as we'll never have a future together because of her family - her family believes in arranged marriages...

I pretended to played it cool but I had fallen for by then. I ignored her for a few days then I broke, and told her that I'm not gonna back down. We argued and I ignored her again. 2-3 weeks later, she told me her family has chosen someone for her and she'll get married within the year.

I wished her a good life and played it cool.. Have had no contact for a good 4-5 months. She now texts me saying:

"Hi, I know you must hate me & I have no right texting you but just as a friend, I wanted to see how you are? If everything is going ok? I don't expect a reply but I hope you're ok and in good health".

It's been months... NOW she's concerned about me? Wtf is this? Do I even bother replying?

I've thought about replying with this: I don't know what you're trying to prove with your text but one thing you have proved is that you still think about me..

Here is the twist in the story... Me and her use to work together, that's how we met. When I left the workplace, I asked her out then. I've been working elsewhere and I've recently been offered a new contract at my old workplace & I've accepted it - better money.. This means I'm gonna see her face-to-face often. How do I deal with it? And what should I do about the text??

 

[AttackFormation]

DON'T REPLY. She wants to see if her hooks are still in you.

 

[TheOne21]

DON'T REPLY. She wants to see if her hooks are still in you.

Thanks for the reply bro.. Its just that we didn't break up because of us, it was because of her family so wondering if the same principle applies here..

Got any advice on what to do when I see her at work??

 

[MOTU]

DON'T REPLY. She wants to see if her hooks are still in you.

^^^This. Repped.

When you see her at work, be polite and professional just as you would with any co-worker that you don't know very well.

 

[AttackFormation]

Thanks for the reply bro.. Its just that we didn't break up because of us, it was because of her family so wondering if the same principle applies here..

Got any advice on what to do when I see her at work??

You've gotta see it for what it is. Unless she says she wants to get together with you because she doesn't care about her family anymore, she's wasting your time and thinks the opinions of her dumbass family are more important than you are. Would she hesitate to go off with Brad Pitt?

 

[El Payaso]

Don't reply. She's looking for attention. Delete it, eat a good meal and relax.

 

[Between_The_Lines]

View this experience as some sort of boot camp in discipline training. If you get through this, you will very likely find it very easy to walk away from the sh*t girls will throw at you when you get back in the game (which, I assume, you already are) Hang in there and stick by I-fell-off-the-face-of-the-Earth policy. Sharing is caring. Let her get a taste of the rejection she put you through.

 

[Stugots26]

As long as you can be a man about it and be clear in your intent, if you still want her, you can say something like:

"I'd open to being your lover or having something romantic but I want you to understand very clearly that I do not want to be your platonic friend in any way, shape, or form. Respect my wishes and do not get in touch with me again unless you'd like to resume a romantic, sexual relationship, and if I'm still single, we can try it."

As long as you're congruent with that statement, if you can say that and then turn and walk away, go for it - IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT. But you have to be congruent with the statement. She may test your strength, but you need to be strong and not cave. Don't give in until you get what you want.