Ex contacted me today about missed period.

[CaptFinnBad]

She broke up this month.

Basically get a text today, "i've not had my period this month".
Says she going to do a pregnancy test and she's not worried. Thinks it's her coil blocking her period (it does happen, my ex before her never had periods due to her coil).

Then not said much about it and has tried to be chatty with me via text since.


Thoughts....

Definitely don't want a baby with this women.

What's she playing at, she should have done a pregnancy test a week or so ago.

I always knew the rough dates she was due, she was due the day she ended the relationship a few weeks back.

Wouldn't getting a test be a priority FFS!

 

[SW15]

I'd tell her, "I won't consider it mine until I get a dna test."

Yes, this is the only way to deal with it.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

She broke up this month.

Basically get a text today, "i've not had my period this month".
Says she going to do a pregnancy test and she's not worried. Thinks it's her coil blocking her period (it does happen, my ex before her never had periods due to her coil).

Then not said much about it and has tried to be chatty with me via text since.


Thoughts....

Definitely don't want a baby with this women.

What's she playing at, she should have done a pregnancy test a week or so ago.

I always knew the rough dates she was due, she was due the day she ended the relationship a few weeks back.

Wouldn't getting a test be a priority FFS!

She wanted to get your hamster spinning and it seems like mission accomplished. It makes her feel and seem more like a victim of circumstance, and is an attempt to force your involvement in her life.

Also stress can cause periods to be missed, could just be a combination of things in her life, including your breakup.

I agree that a test should be a priority, and I've said this to women that pull the same thing, where they're saying they'll get a test later. Pregnancy scare tactics are a massive red flag, the best you can do is start logging all your texts with her. If it comes down to court you'll at least have evidence that you were adamant about a test and handling things responsibly.

You can text things to make it very obvious that you're not ready for a child. "At this stage in my life having a child would cripple me financially, mentally, and emotionally, please get a test today." Say things that would look favorable in court for you, just in case; it'll also give you peace of mind. Log all dates of the last time you had sex, last creampie, etc. Obviously don't fuuck this woman again unless you want more manipulation.

Imo if she's not being manipulative then she'll be more compliant out of respect for your feelings on the matter.

 

[Barrister]

She needs to show you an actual pregnancy test that is positive. However, demanding a DNA test can backfire. If she IS pregnant, demanding the DNA test before you acknowledge the child can end up setting you back on the custody/visitation level assuming the child is yours.

I think a fair question if you really are going to demand a DNA test is also to ask whether the child could be anyone else’s but yours. If not, don’t go down this route. She does owe you a positive pregnancy test if she is going to make this claim though.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Women are nuts

my ex even though we finished on fair terms and she has had two relationships since still often tries to turn a simple text conversation about our shared cat from a yes or no answer into an unnecessary melodrama

i suspect that this is whats happening in your case but on a more extreme level

Women constantly need some sort of drama or narrative to feed off and because they are so emotional one day she's over you the next she has dreamt up some plot about a pregnancy scare to test how your going to react or if you still care about her

Keep responses short and to the point don't get sucked into the melodrama

 

[CaptFinnBad]

She said she would buy a test today. Now gone off radar completely.

I think she's playing mind games. Can't help get into my head with this one though.

 

[CaptFinnBad]

I had an ex pull this when I had just moved out of state. I did ask "who's is it" lol. I had to drive all the way back home (2 hours). When I got there after 2 hours of thinking my life was over, she was sitting there drinking a beer and said "oops, this is awkward" as one of her new men dropped by.

Absolutely ridiculous.

 

[indiff]

I had an ex pull this when I had just moved out of state. I did ask "who's is it" lol. I had to drive all the way back home (2 hours). When I got there after 2 hours of thinking my life was over, she was sitting there drinking a beer and said "oops, this is awkward" as one of her new men dropped by.

that is some f’ed up ****. at least you dodged a bullet there.

 

[CaptFinnBad]

The test was negative. She told me she was doing a test 2pm yesterday.

Ignored my message around 7pm last night and 9am this morning asking if she's done the test.

Got back today at 11am saying it's negative. Not got back to me because she got a new slow cooker and has been busy cooking.

What the actual ****.

Obviously it's been bothering me because the test results could have been a life changing event.

Women can be the absolute worst at times.

 

[Barrister]

The test was negative. She told me she was doing a test 2pm yesterday.

Ignored my message around 7pm last night and 9am this morning asking if she's done the test.

Got back today at 11am saying it's negative. Not got back to me because she got a new slow cooker and has been busy cooking.

What the actual ****.

Obviously it's been bothering me because the test results could have been a life changing event.

Women can be the absolute worst at times.

She likely never missed her period in the first place and was waiting to respond to you just to see what reaction she got. Pretty fu*ked up but in-line with something a crazy bi+ch would do.

 

[Mike32ct]

The test was negative. She told me she was doing a test 2pm yesterday.

Ignored my message around 7pm last night and 9am this morning asking if she's done the test.

Got back today at 11am saying it's negative.

This is very cruel. No words to describe this.

 

[Knight of Roses]

“Oh you’re pregnant? Thank God, thought you were just getting fat”

send that via text and watch them LOLs roll

 

[darksprezzatura]

She needs to show you an actual pregnancy test that is positive. However, demanding a DNA test can backfire. If she IS pregnant, demanding the DNA test before you acknowledge the child can end up setting you back on the custody/visitation level assuming the child is yours.

I think a fair question if you really are going to demand a DNA test is also to ask whether the child could be anyone else’s but yours. If not, don’t go down this route. She does owe you a positive pregnancy test if she is going to make this claim though.

Smoother than blurting out "Give me a DNA test". Great share.

 

[darksprezzatura]

“Oh you’re pregnant? Thank God, thought you were just getting fat”

send that via text and watch them LOLs roll

Lmao this cracked me up, taking notes. Hope I never need to use tho

 

[CaptFinnBad]

Well it seems like she's accomplished her mission. I've not spoken her since the "negative", but she has managed to get right inside my head.

I found myself thinking about her this morning and actually missing her all day. Not good!

Litrerally I had just gotten her out my head , I was focused, forgetting about her and emotional ties were cutting/breaking/soon to be gone.

Now she's managed to worm her why back in with this pregnancy scare. Obviously the incident caused anxiety and a bit of panic in me (it could have been very real, so created real emotion).

Coupled with the radio silence from her and purposely leaving me in the dark got my hamster spinning. Running different scenarios and possibilities that she could be pregnant with my baby, what would that look like, would she keep it, How would that work , e.t.c.

Definitely taken me back a few steps in regards of getting over her. The wounds feel fresh again, feeling of emptiness has returned (which had gone away).


****s sake.

I guess this is how she was throughout the relationship. She would cause crisis, negative emotion, silence , then suddenly be super loving, switch off the negative emotions she created replacing it with intense positive emotion. Repeat.

It's exactly how trauma bonding works. Total mind fux.

I can only describe is as like an addiction to a slot machine.

 

[SW15]

Well it seems like she's accomplished her mission. I've not spoken her since the "negative", but she has managed to get right inside my head.

I found myself thinking about her this morning and actually missing her all day. Not good!

Litrerally I had just gotten her out my head , I was focused, forgetting about her and emotional ties were cutting/breaking/soon to be gone.

Now she's managed to worm her why back in with this pregnancy scare. Obviously the incident caused anxiety and a bit of panic in me (it could have been very real, so created real emotion).

I'm glad she isn't pregnant. Never interact with her again.

 

[Barrister]

Well it seems like she's accomplished her mission. I've not spoken her since the "negative", but she has managed to get right inside my head.

I found myself thinking about her this morning and actually missing her all day. Not good!

Litrerally I had just gotten her out my head , I was focused, forgetting about her and emotional ties were cutting/breaking/soon to be gone.

Now she's managed to worm her why back in with this pregnancy scare. Obviously the incident caused anxiety and a bit of panic in me (it could have been very real, so created real emotion).

Coupled with the radio silence from her and purposely leaving me in the dark got my hamster spinning. Running different scenarios and possibilities that she could be pregnant with my baby, what would that look like, would she keep it, How would that work , e.t.c.

Definitely taken me back a few steps in regards of getting over her. The wounds feel fresh again, feeling of emptiness has returned (which had gone away).


****s sake.

I guess this is how she was throughout the relationship. She would cause crisis, negative emotion, silence , then suddenly be super loving, switch off the negative emotions she created replacing it with intense positive emotion. Repeat.

It's exactly how trauma bonding works. Total mind fux.

I can only describe is as like an addiction to a slot machine.

Focus on what she just did to you. She basically tried to mindfu*k you because she didn’t get what she wanted. She’s the worst kind of selfish woman you can come across and likely cluster B. Don’t just walk away - RUN. If you don’t and go back to her, you’ll have no one to blame but yourself when something worse happens (ie she really is pregnant) next time.

 

[CaptFinnBad]

Focus on what she just did to you. She basically tried to mindfu*k you because she didn’t get what she wanted. She’s the worst kind of selfish woman you can come across and likely cluster B. Don’t just walk away - RUN. If you don’t and go back to her, you’ll have no one to blame but yourself when something worse happens (ie she really is pregnant) next time.

Never experienced anything like this before its insane.

I've been in good relationships. I was with my previous ex for a decade. When we broke up sure it hurt but it was all very normal.

With this ex it's different. She basically created an cortisol and oxytocin addiction in me .

Like the latest game, create a loads of cortisol (through the pregnancy scare), then she would typically replace that with oxytocin (take away the stress hormone and replace it with an intense feeling of love ).

It basically creates a dependancy and through a constant cycle which you eventually lost in. So confusing and doubting reality to some extent.


It's like the person doing it becomes the only person capable of taking away the pain (pain they have caused), which makes it difficult to escape.

Thinking back. I recognise how she did it, it was done ever so slightly. A few months of a super intense start , when a bond was formed the cycle began, barely noticeable, ever so slightly dripping into the relationship.


I think that's why the pregnancy scare came out when it did. She knew I was escaping. So the pregnancy scare was done to spike cortisol , put me in pain ( her trying to start the cycle), I guess she's hoping I would seek her out so she can give me an oxytocin boost and pull me back in.


This woman is an expert. Not your typical crazy women, she's super intelligent, manipulative and I don't think even capable of love.

I know what I need to do. I know what I'm dealing with. It's definitely a battle though.

 

[CaptFinnBad]

Cluster B disorder, we have all been there. I developed a cortisol disorder just from working for one lol

What do you mean by cluster B?

 

[bat soup]

She broke up this month.

Basically get a text today, "i've not had my period this month".
Says she going to do a pregnancy test and she's not worried. Thinks it's her coil blocking her period (it does happen, my ex before her never had periods due to her coil).

Then not said much about it and has tried to be chatty with me via text since.


Thoughts....

Definitely don't want a baby with this women.

What's she playing at, she should have done a pregnancy test a week or so ago.

I always knew the rough dates she was due, she was due the day she ended the relationship a few weeks back.

Wouldn't getting a test be a priority FFS!

Tell her that if she gets an early morning appointment at the abortion clinic, afterwards you can both go to McDonalds and order the EggMcmuffin.