Ex contacted me. Here's the conversation. What the **** is this ?

[Zion]

So I'll just post the **** here and let you be the judge of what the **** this was.

Quick facts: we live 200 kms' apart. I'm in college , she's finishing highschool. Broke up 2 months ago , I went NC , she still contacted me from time to time. I tried to keep my cool frame and never contacted her.


(My status is - Let it go homie. Refferencing Wiz Khalifa & Akon's song , which was linked in the description. To which she replies: )


Her: No !
Her: xD
Me: You just can't rezist opposing me,can you ? -laugh-
Her: or you, with me.
Her: forever and ever. xD
Me: How's that ?
Her: Do you want me to be *****y ?
Me: Yes please. /sarcasm
Her: ok ok , I won't;
Me: Ok , so what's up ? (i felt like she was craving the question)
Her: Oh,just studying for xclass.
Her: just got home.
Her:you know..
Her: you ?
Me: oh , nationals ,huh ?(she qualified at some contest)
Her: Wow,how'd you know ? Did I tell you ?
Me: Because...I'm awesome ?
Her: damn..you're good.
Me: Me , I'm working on a project.
[few lines of smalltalk]
Her: So...when you comming home ?
Me: No idea. My mom's birthday is in 3 weeks so I might have to come then. Don't really want to,but it is what it is.
Me: Why ?
Her: Oh..I just wanna meet up.
Her: Catch up a little.
Her: Chat with you.
Her: See your face.xD
Her: We can go to *venue name*.
Me: Nah..that place sucks. Come to "my current city". It's more fun. (I bluffed. I obviously didnt think she'd agree to this. I was looking for a way out )

*the thing is , 1 year we were long distance in this relationship and she only made it to this city ONCE. In 1 entire year.*

Her:Hmm
Her:Why not ?
Her: How about next monday ?
Me: Monday ?
Her:Yes.
Me: In *my current city* ?
Her: Yes.
Me: 200 miles away from *your current city* ?
Her: yes haha.
Me: How so ?
Her: Oh I have some meeting in a city close , so I might make a stop.
Me: I don't know , I have a tight schedule on Monday.
Her: How so ?
Me: Gym , college lectures and some other stuff.
Her: Well when do you start ?
Me: 2 pm.
Her: how about 12pm then ?
Her: If I can make the stop I'll let you know. -kiss-
Her: We can go to X venue. xD
Me: That place is horrible. There's so many more that are better.
Her: Ok , you pick. Anywhere's fine xD.
Me: Anyway , hit me up if you can make it and I'll let you know.
Her: Yes, only if you promise to do the same when you come home.
Me: You always this pretentious ? -laugh- (deflection. No special treatment)
Her: Like you don't know.
Her: Why you acting like you don't know me ? We've been together for so long...
Me: Past is past.

[some more smalltalk in which she asks me to buy some stuff for her and send it via mail - for which she will pay - because she can't find it in her city. Which is true , small town. Anyway , I suggest some different ways of obtaining said item without involving me. She insists. I reply with "I don't really have time these next few days. I'll give it a look up but don't count on me".



So...what the fvck is this ? This chick basically broke up with me.An almost 3 year LTR. I kinda got dumped , in a way.I told her to get her **** together and seriously think if she wants in or out of this relationship because she started acting more and more weird. And she chose out. I was a complete pvssy the first few days and then I discovered SoSuave and went full NC. Now she wants to meet up ? Dafuq is this ?

She contacted me during these 2 months a few times , to which I replied shortly and casually. Even in this convo , I tried to treat her like I'd treat any other chick. No special treatment. In fact , I even held back. I'm flirtacious with girls by nature so I treat to keep it down with her , to not send her any ideas.


Please , the more experienced dudes , comment on this interaction and on what you think her end-game is. To me it seems like she 'wants me'. And I don't know if I'm ready for that. I don't wanna relapse in the sh!t-hole I just got out of with all of that emotional ****-up. I don't even know if I'm completely out of it yet.On the other hand, I don't wanna be a pathetic wimp. I wanna be able to meet her on Monday , keep my cool-as frame and dominate the fcking interaction. I wanna make her dripping wet by not even touching her and then simply walk away.

I'm not looking to get back together with her and don't wanna get physical with her in any way. She's a gorgeous hb9+ and if I do that I KNOW I will relapse and all this 2 month work will be for nothing.



Oh and ,sidenote , we were each other's 'firsts'. She's not an evil biatch per se , she didn't really walk all over me or anything like that.Our relationship was above average. Pretty cool.
Also,since braking up with her I've been heavily working on self-improvement from all standpoints.As far as DJ-ing , got a few kiss closes , make-outs , numbers.Didn't get laid though.

I don't think the extra details are necessarily helpful , but I'm adding them just to avoid keyboard jockey replies. I seriously need some decent advice here. So help a brother out.

 

[Vidrio]

Waaaay too long of a convo. You shouldn't have responded at all.

 

[5string]

She looked for other options or an upgrade. Now she is swinging back to your branch. Give her a good fvcking and get some other plates. If she comes back, give her another good fvcking.

Play it for what it's worth.

 

[Zion]

Waaaay too long of a convo. You shouldn't have responded at all.

Like I said ,I don't wanna be a wimp. I wanna stomp my fears & weakness towards her by standing up to it. Taking it head-on.
You'll see , your time will come.

She looked for other options or an upgrade. Now she is swinging back to your branch. Give her a good fvcking and get some other plates. If she comes back, give her another good fvcking.

Play it for what it's worth.

When we met I was one of the coolest motherfvckers you can imagine. And then the relationship turned me into a major-league pvssy-ass AFC.
I'm slowly getting back in touch with the cool mofo within, but I fear that seeing her will throw me back to the AFC mind-set.

Since she's the only girl I actually cared for , I don't know what the hell will happen. Rationally I'm in control , emotionally however , I'm not that certain. Like I said , really don't wanna relapse.

Anyway , thanks for the replies. More are welcome ^_^.

 

[betheman]

I got this far...

"Her: No !
Her: xD
Me: You just can't rezist opposing me,can you ? -laugh-
Her: or you, with me.
Her: forever and ever. xD"

and my eyes began to bleed! wtf does this sh!t mean???

 

[Zion]

Welcome to the world of women ? If we could understand what they meant every time they opened their mouth , life would be painfully easy.

 

[RedScorpion]

I think the most important part to figure out here is what YOU want. Ignore her motivations, and figuring out what she's after. What do you want? We're pretty good at analyzing, so play out each outcome for you, and determine how it makes you feel. Good, bad, awkward, confused. Rejecting contact, hooking up as friends, as FB, as gf/bf. And risk assess each. (if you think it best to reject it, I'd let her know vs her driving all that way)

If you can clearly determine in your mind your desire (versus taking as it comes, or 'I don't know'), it should help keep you focused. Nevermind her goal(s). If you do meet, your emotions will come back, good and bad. Just your mind loading what it knows about them. I do believe you can control it, just be mindful of it flooding back.

If she is willing to travel 200 km, it's a pretty good sign of concrete determination. Still, be cautious, and be cool. I think these things too have a way of possibly going bad if anything deep is triggered unexpectedly. If you guys do talk about deep/relationship stuff, go very slow and neutral. And set your expectations as low as possible. That's my advice.

PS: I haven't come across many good stories of relationships working after a breakup.

On second thought, I think you should stick to NC.

 

[Zion]

To be honest , I think she might have a rebound in effect. In which case I'm absolutely compelled to **** her brains out and prove once and for all that I own that territory. I know,I know , it's stupidly egotistical.But that guy is such a whimp. Something about knowing that the next time she kisses him , he'll secretly taste my d!ck. Again. Fresh flavour. It's kinda reinvigorating.


I'd like to think of myself as more mature than that , but in this case , fvck it.


And yes , I realize I'm not completely over her.Emotionally however ,I'm stable and I know I don't want her back. Overall , I'm much more than she ever deserved.She's not a horrible person. She's not even a bad person , but she took me for granted way more often that she should've.So in the back of my head I secretly wish she'd hit the reality of that fact,I guess. I want her to crawl up to me and give me the :"I'm such an idiot for not holding you up to your true value". I want that sense of justice. Is that weak ? Pathetic ? Ego-food ? Probably is , but after investing so much time and emotion into something , least you expect from it is some long over-due appreciation,after the dust has settled.


I guess I still have time to think it through. It's kinda weird. She's been chasing more in these past 2 months than in the last year of our relationship.Gotta love the irony in that.

 

[NewAndImproved]

It's not a good look to have this kind of extended convo on your facebook wall.

 

[Bokanovsky]

I'm not looking to get back together with her and don't wanna get physical with her in any way.

You are full of sh*t. If you didn't want to get back with her, you'd be ignoring her stupid texts and maintaining radio silence. It's plainly obvious that you still want this chick.

 

[Zion]

It's not a good look to have this kind of extended convo on your facebook wall.

Who said anything about facebook walls? ^_^
Who in their right mind would have a conversation like that over a public display ? No no , it was over Yahoo Messenger.

You are full of sh*t. If you didn't want to get back with her, you'd be ignoring her stupid texts and maintaining radio silence. It's plainly obvious that you still want this chick.

Like I said:

And yes , I realize I'm not completely over her.Emotionally however ,I'm stable and I know I don't want her back. Overall , I'm much more than she ever deserved.She's not a horrible person. She's not even a bad person , but she took me for granted way more often that she should've.So in the back of my head I secretly wish she'd hit the reality of that fact,I guess. I want her to crawl up to me and give me the :"I'm such an idiot for not holding you up to your true value". I want that sense of justice. Is that weak ? Pathetic ? Ego-food ? Probably is , but after investing so much time and emotion into something , least you expect from it is some long over-due appreciation,after the dust has settled.

There would be no point in asking for advice , if I wouldn't be honest. It would serve no purpose.

 

[self-respect]

She wants your attention back. That's clear. She's driving 200 miles to see you so she also wants your d!ck. Depending on how the break up went, you could keep her around while you spin other plates.

Reading that last post though you're too involved. You're not stable. Might be in other parts of your life but not with her if you think all that. If you hook up with her again, you'll be hurt more than she will. Guaranteed. You're already building it up when all it is is a fck.

Life isn't just. People don't care about treating other people equally. I'd never expect sincere appreciation after a break-up. Are you kidding?

 

[Zion]

Reading that last post though you're too involved. You're not stable. Might be in other parts of your life but not with her if you think all that.

Yeah , I guess I'm stable in comparison with how I was 1 month before , and unstable in comparison to how I should be / am in other aspects of my life. Thanks , I'm able to see it a little more objectively now.

I probably am more involved than I should be. Old habits I guess. Something to work on , no doubt.


About life being just ? I'm not expecting it , that's why I said I secretly wish it ,in the back of my head. It's not a realistic expectation. I want that sense of justice. I also wanna win the lottery. Doesn't mean I'm literally expecting to have any of the 2 happen to me.

 

[self-respect]

Making sure you weren't clinging to the blue pill. Better times are ahead.

 

[Zarky]

she's finishing highschool

This is all one really needs to know about this situation. She's a kid basically. She changes every day.

 

[Zion]

This is all one really needs to know about this situation. She's a kid basically. She changes every day.

Yeah,that's kinda true. She's 18 , but I don't really see how it would be relevant to the situation at hand.

 

[lamobatsman]

her age is irrelevant. just an excuse peopel make to justify themselevs to make them feel better

 

[Zarky]

LOL her age is wholly relevant, because kids.. and she is a kid.. change daily. To assign weight to their actions or words is to drive yourself insane. Especially to post some lengthy text exchange with a teenager and then to ask strangers to pick it apart and delve into her thoughts is an exercise in futility.

Anyone over the age of about 27 would understand this. Move on, laugh about it, and date more women. Preferably older.

 

[Zion]

Women are women. Weather she's 18 or 28 , she's still the same illogical emotional being.


And yeah,there's a critical stage in teenagers' lives , but that usualy starts at around 14 and ends at about 17. And even then , the 'changes' occur in more superficial aspects , such as taste in music , clothes , what-have-you.

 

[Zarky]

And you, with your 20 full years of wisdom, should know

Get back to us when you can legally drink adult beverages.