ex comin back from year abroad... how do I deal?

[bust.it]

Nice and quick here's the situation:

Dated a girl last april for six months when I was AFC king. In the fall she left to go to France for a school year, and she's comin back in the next couple days for graduation then we'll be seniors in the fall.

When she left for france we broke up... well, more like I sent her flowers and we called each other then she came back to visit for 3 days and she dumped me. Our relationship went from "oh I miss you I love you" to a heated argument and finally a breakup that eventually led me to this site.

We haven't talked since.

I don't want to overanalyze anything, but I see two paths to choose from:

A) Ignore her. Maybe a small "hi" here and there but in general try to remind her of her mistake-- now, I DO have my life together. Don't be friends etc. This is REALLY hard at a boarding school, though.

B) Start out clean with a new smile and a new day. The "It's in the past, I'm over it, let's forget it" attitude. I know it'll be hard but I'm considering this... rise above it. THe past is the past, I've learnt from it and there's no reason we can't be friends. She's NOT the devil.. she IS a b1tch but I shouldn't succum to her level.

Usually I'm on top of things like this but this girl used to know me inside out... 6 months is a LONG time at a small boarding school and I'm not sure how to handle it when I see her. Big hug? Try to avoid her?

I'd appreciate some feedback. thanks

 

[drixsa]

jus be nice if you see her

if you dog her out or act like an ******* she will assume that you are not yet over her

jus be cool, be the DJ that you are (or should be)

dont say **** like:

"oh i really meant to call you"

jus be cool and see how the situation plays out

if things go real well i would sugest that U give her your # and let her call you.

if it comes to that

ususally i would say that you should always get her number but in this situation she would need to make the effort.

 

[bust.it]

"jus be cool" meaning dont' go outta my way to greet her?

I've always been on the sidelines and this summer my goal is to improve and change and come back and be the center of attention type guy.

Instead of ignoring her I'd rather be like "it's done. i'm over it and i've moved on. do what you want but you see this? you'll never have it". haha k maybe thats a little too far but you get the idea

 

[Paranoid]

Its been a year...so I guess you could start off with a clean slate...that is..if you are totally sure that you are over her..otherwise just the casual run-ins might raise her IL...since you seem cool and indifferent..but in the end..its your call...think over it and act accordingly.

 

[bust.it]

i dont care if i raise her IL.

let met make it clear: I DONT WANT HER BACK. i NEXT'd that b1tch a long time ago.

 

[El brujo]

Then what are you trying to achieve with her, bust it? (i dont completely understand) You don't want to get her back, but you want to ...(fill in the blanks)...

Grtz

 

[bust.it]

hmm.. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I don't want to be affected by her presence. I don't want to feel awkward around her.. I don't want it to affect my school work and my life.

I know I already should be good enough to not react to her, but I'm not there yet (striving, though). I'm looking for the best method that we can be comfortable enough with each other that she doesn't have any affect on my at all.

hope that clears it up. i dont want to hate her, i don't want her back though. i just don't want her to affect me right now, i'm on the brink of discovering myself.

(and, yes, it's true: some part of me wants to PROVE (hate the word! hate it!) that I've made something of myself. Some part of me [afc?] wants her to come back and see what i've done and how i've become, and make her feel bad about her loss. i hate to admit but it's there.. although the DJ side screams "you don't have to prove anything to anyone, fool")

 

[El brujo]

Yeah I recognize the feeling bustit, I don't think I can give you some good advice cause I'm facing the same problems. If you managed to do it all right, let us know cause it could help me out and probably a lot of other people too.

Grtz

 

[El brujo]

Or you could just see her as you see other girls: just one of those girls that have no effect on your inner life. I know it's hard to do but it's the best way I guess