Ex Causing Grief, Need Advice

[GolfGuru]

All, new to this site but need some advice here.

I have been dating this single mother for over 2 months. Things have gone pretty well I must say, maybe too well. This past week has been pretty bad though. She suddenly did not want to hang out or talk on the phone. Her overall attitude toward me was rather cold and distant. I went with the flow and just kept my cool. However, she finally tells me what the problem is: her EX.

She told me how she has been depressed all week. Further, she told me not to take this personally. I asked her what the problem was and she said “You shouldn’t really worry about it because there is nothing you can do to make things better”. I said as long as it does not involve me I will give you the time and space to get your mind together and be happy again.

I do not know what to do here. Further, I do not really know the situation at hand or if it involves me. Do I try to comfort her? Do I simply give her the time to think things over?, or Do I leave her?

Thanks!

 

[Bible_Belt]

Does she have clinical depression? Is she on medication?

 

[GolfGuru]

Does she have clinical depression? Is she on medication?

No, I never really have seen her like this since we started seeing one another.

 

[white sox bill]

Golf did she indicate that the ex wants back?

 

[GolfGuru]

Golf did she indicate that the ex wants back?

Nope. The ex actaully is already involved with another girl

 

[white sox bill]

Did he recently move in w/this gal? What I'm getting to, is is she reacting to the cohabitation that just happened? Do they see eachother or keep in contact? Or cross paths at any point?

 

[GolfGuru]

Did he recently move in w/this gal? What I'm getting to, is is she reacting to the cohabitation that just happened? Do they see eachother or keep in contact? Or cross paths at any point?

Yes, they see each other a couple of times a week because he takes the kid on those days. The girfriend does not currently live with him.

 

[wayword]

However, she finally tells me what the problem is: her EX.

GOES WITH THE TERRITORY. The baby daddy will ALWAYS be in the back of her mind, especially when she has a living reminder of him in her face every frickin' minute.

Just one of the reasons I stopped dating MILFs...

 

[Vulpine]

I have been dating this single mother for over 2 months. Things have gone pretty well I must say, maybe too well...

I do not know what to do here. Further, I do not really know the situation at hand or if it involves me. Do I try to comfort her? Do I simply give her the time to think things over?, or Do I leave her?

You are getting all "one-itis" over a single mommy?

If you had other plates, you wouldn't be asking how to act with this chick. So, my advice to you is to get more plates. You don't have to leave her, you sure as hell don't comfort her, and as far as time to think things over... she'll have plenty because you'll be out with other women.

Besides, this sounds like some powerplay BS she's pulling or some silly mind game. Direct your efforts towards other, more deserving, better quality women.

Good luck.

 

[NewMan]

give her space and time.

I would leave her well alone until she makes contact.

1) you don't want to be calling her or talking to her. She needs to know that you don't put up and hang around on this sh#t

2) you need to spend time hunting other women.

 

[Desdinova]

I have been dating this single mother

Red flag #1

She told me how she has been depressed all week.

Red flag #2

She's a depressed SM is all you need to know that this woman is going to cause you nothing but trouble, frustration, and unhappiness. You are NOT her knight in shining armour, and there is nothing you can do to save her from her depression, her ex, and any other problems that are festering in her life. Getting involved with this woman will only cause you to drown in the problems she creates for herself, and the both of you.

Leave this girl for the flower-giving, poetry-writing, money-spending, desperate AFCs. You can get a better woman, an emotionally-healthy woman who doesn't have a bastard child.

 

[Latinoman]

"Ex" causing grief? How do you know that? For all we know he is doing everything by the book and it is HER the one doing the drama.

It appears to me that she is using manipulative techniques to get you.
And even if they are having issues...it is THEIR issue.

I seriously doubt he is giving her issues about you. Unless it involves the child.

 

[flexion_]

You are always going to be 2nd-best to her kid and most likely the father of her kid. Its its just the way it is... she is correct that there is nothing you can do to change it.

I'd just do nothing and let her come to you when she is ready. I'm not a big fan of dating single mothers but its your choice.

 

[GolfGuru]

All, thanks for the advice. It seems this girl has caused more drama than any other girl I have dated before.

 

[RAFCbearfilm]

Seems to me you answered your own questions when you said, "As long as it doesn't involve me, I will give you the time and space you need."
As has been pointed out, drama with someone's EX should not be your problem at all, and frankly, is to be expected in that relationship. Yet, another reason why people here are adamant about not dating SM's as the EX will be omnipresent (any respectable dad should be) as long as they have kids together, no matter how cool of a cat you are or smoking hot she may be.
If the drama's not worth it, change the channel.

 

[Latinoman]

All, thanks for the advice. It seems this girl has caused more drama than any other girl I have dated before.

Hahaha. Trust me...you have NOT seeing drama yet.


Here is a warning:

They typically cloud our minds with sex. I will bet you whatever that if you two phuck...the "drama" issue will be gone out of your mind. Some women know that. So, don't let sex cloud your mind or overlook the real issues: drama.

 

[GolfGuru]

Hahaha. Trust me...you have NOT seeing drama yet.


Here is a warning:

They typically cloud our minds with sex. I will bet you whatever that if you two phuck...the "drama" issue will be gone out of your mind. Some women know that. So, don't let sex cloud your mind or overlook the real issues: drama.

Update: with all of this drama going on, she told me:
"I think you should do what you need to do and let me know"

 

[white sox bill]

Update: with all of this drama going on, she told me:
"I think you should do what you need to do and let me know"

Womanse for: I'm gonna do what I want to, so be prepared

 

[GolfGuru]

Womanse for: I'm gonna do what I want to, so be prepared

Seems like I need to end this mess. Whats the best way to do this?

 

[Sinistar]

Seems like I need to end this mess. Whats the best way to do this?

Nothing. No Chats. No Drama. No Emotional Sh!t. Just do nothing.