Ex Broke Up With Me

[SmoothTalker]

Ah this story.. so many of us have been in your shoes before, and most of us thought our situations were unique, but few if any of them actually were.

Your problem is that you are still trying to get her back, and putting on this I don't care/ignoring act on in an effort to do that.

This will not work.

However, if you actually decide to start moving on and let her go, even though the difference in your behavior would be subtle, the effect on her is for some reason much more potent.

Basically, people don't really change what they like all that much. She stopped liking you because you stopped being what she liked. You need to move on, give a chance for her image of you to refresh, and then you can try resuming content once again as the man she felt attracted to.

As for what you should do, I actually found it more effective to talk to communicate with her if she talks to you, maybe even occasionally initiate a chat online or whatever, but the key is to not be needy. Don't talk about your relationship at all, talk about how you're keeping busy and having fun (Key point - this should be true, not something that you just say) and keep it short. I think this works better because when you just ignore them, most people can see through that as you either just pouting because you're hurt or trying to manipulate them.

Oh and for the older guy.. Maybe she genuinely likes him. Much more likely, she misses the attention you were giving her and girls thrive on attention, if they can't get it from who they want, they'll settle for getting it from whoever they can. That, and she wants to annoy you and make you jealous.

Live your life man, she'll either come back or you'll find better.

 

[scottfall]

Live your life man, she'll either come back or you'll find better.

Its a win-win situation.

 

[Serg897]

This situation has a lot of parallels to what Ive been dealing with the past few weeks - and I feel like reading these posts is benefiting me as well.

In short, I lost a girl I really liked a couple of weeks ago, and I'm having a lot of problems getting over her. Especially when she has given me mixed signals at times.

The posts about mainly cutting off contact and moving on with your life, but still being friendly if she talks to you, I think are pretty much correct here. The simple truth of the matter is that she is not as interested in you as she once was, and it makes no sense to remain invested in a girl like that.

When I entered my hometown again, I remember looking at the places we went, and the things we did. I had to drive by her house and stuff and since she lives next to my friend, itll be tough going to his house.

I feel your pain, dude. I went through this my freshman year of college as well. My situation back then has some parallels to yours also. Going back to my hometown and seeing all the places we used to hang out was not exactly fun for me when she was the only thing on my mind.

I did all sorts of things back then I shouldn't have done. Wrote her long e-mails, told her I loved her, etc. I will tell you right now it wont work, and she is going to end up leaving your life anyway. You need to move on until you are mainly indifferent of whether she is back with you or not.

I know its not easy, but its what I am trying to do at this moment also.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SmoothTalker
Live your life man, she'll either come back or you'll find better.

Its a win-win situation.
12-14-2008 02:17 AM

I like this attitude. haha.

 

[Chicks Just Dig Me]

While a few days before I left for college, I do feel like I started to change a little bit, I'll admit that. I was more hesitate to say I loved her, and I was really starting to care about her and I did become a little jealous which was diff. from not caring at all before. But those things are a little typical. She was so used to seeing my everyday in school, even if we did not get to hang out. We talked for short periods of time in school and everything, but when I left everything was totally different--it's like she could not "miss me" because she was so used to seeing me everyday. She came up twice, and that was the end of that. Than she started to play a few games, which at first I played along, then joined in on them. We hung out a few times back at home, got back together, than she ended it for good.

As much as she may seem to enjoy having a guy ten years older, I believe she is doing it for social status. She thinks she is hot shlt for having a guy so much older in her life and everything. Even though he is creepy, sketchy, lives at home, etc. You guys know the typical guy--while I am at a great college and trying to be somebody.

I don't know whether I should even initate contact. Afterall she blocked me for some odd reason (prly so I would not find out) and she even removed me from her top facebook friends (lol) a little while ago. She put the older guy in "my spot." So I def. noticed but did not say anything. I don't feel like she is going to initiate contact, and I really do in a way, but not if it's gonna hurt me.

 

[Asteconn]

You really ought not to get back with her. All you are at the moment is a back up plan. That's it.

You need to find someone who is worth your time and energy.

Remember: only needy or injured birds fly into cages; and they are not great catches.

 

[Chicks Just Dig Me]

Something crossed my mind today. It was one of my good days where I have been thinkin about some other girls I met in college and stuff, and I feel like I kinda wanna hook up with my ex right now. I don't know why, but I feel like if we hung out and I truely don't care I can feel better about myself. I don't want it to be awkward and her completely erasing me from her life. I feel like I'll wait another week and then initiate next week if she doesn't.

The good thing I am doing is trying to game other girls at college, while having her on my mind. That may be a bad thing, but I am trying guys. I can truely say I am tryin to focus on other girls, but I am not gonna lie--she is still in my head..