Ex Broke NC...now what?

[Ultracorp]

I broke up with this girl in june. I decided I had to go NC with her for my own sanity if nothing else. I have seen her twice while out on the town with other girls which pissed her off since she sent me a couple nasty texts about those girls....that was a couple months ago.

She texts me last weekend asking how I'm doing, I say everything is going well and leave it at that.

On Thursday she texts me which lead to an interesting convo...

HER: I miss your company I hope everything is going well for you.
ME: You still miss me after all this time?
HER: I do, I was happy when I was with you and I'm glad that you're happy now.
ME: Thanks, that nice of you.
HER: I really miss the girl I was when I was with you, I'm sad I might never feel like that again.
ME: Yeah I always knew how to show you a good time.
HER: Yes you did that's very true Maybe we should try that again?
ME: I don't know I'll have to think about it
HER: If you don't want to I understand, I don't deserve it.

I didn't say anything back after that, and I haven't heard from her for 4 days. Should I just wait for her to contact me again? I'm in a bit of a dry spell and wouldn't mind some makeup sex, but I don't want to seem tooeager. Getting back together isn't really the goal.

 

[VladPatton]

*cringe*
I've had those text/email convos way too many times. I swear it seems like they were all shot from the same woman-making-cannon when they write that crap.

If you don't want to get back together, you will most likely get frustrated with her shyt all over again and be wasting your time. There is a reason you broke up. If you want to get a FWB thing out of it, make it clear, and be prepared for that too go bust one day as well, when she finds the next chump-diggity to date (no offense).

In conclusion, your best bet is to ignore her attempts, ignore the guilt trip inducing texts, and let her be.

 

[Renegade357]

Impressive. It sounds like you got her in the palm of your hand dude. You reset challenge with NC. Nice work. There is a slight chance she could be seeking validation but it sounds somewhat legit to me.

Thing you gotta ask yourself is do you really want to waste time with this girl?

If you really want to be with her you've played it like a pro so far. You told her you wanted to think about getting back together. Balls of steel. If I were you I'd just call her up out of the blue in a few days and straight ask her out on a date. Specific date, specific time, specific plan. See if she takes it and if she flakes. Any wishy-washiness on her part and you walk. If you really like her and think it can work this could be your chance to reset things and actually be in control.

 

[Iceberg]

I'll say this - you handled it pretty great.

You were brilliantly vague and non-committal.

Anyway, it's hard to keep somebody from getting back with their ex. We're humans, and humans always go to what's familiar. But it rarely ever turns out well. But if you want to pull the trigger, it should be pretty easy to get a few beers with her and bring things back to your bedroom.

 

[Renegade357]

*cringe*
I've had those text/email convos way too many times. I swear it seems like they were all shot from the same woman-making-cannon when they write that crap.

I agree man. We don't know the story behind why they broke up. He may have turned her off or there could have been another guy in the background that she's now struck out with. It does sound like the ball is in his court with this one. He can find out real quick what she's up to by keeping her on thin ice.

 

[Ultracorp]

We mainly broke up because she had some drinking issues. She was great to be with one on one, but if you get her and her friends together they start taking shots like there's no tomorrow. She started fights twice at bars with other girls and I told her I couldn't deal with that, she needs to grow up a little and act like shes almost 24.

Like I said, not really long term potential and I want to keep her on a short leash if anything does happen between us. Could be fun, shes great in the bedroom.

 

[Renegade357]

We mainly broke up because she had some drinking issues. She was great to be with one on one, but if you get her and her friends together they start taking shots like there's no tomorrow. She started fights twice at bars with other girls and I told her I couldn't deal with that, she needs to grow up a little and act like shes almost 24.

Like I said, not really long term potential and I want to keep her on a short leash if anything does happen between us. Could be fun, shes great in the bedroom.

Haha, I had a girl like this not too long ago. Man that was fun. If you're that young Id say hit it but remain in control. Based on her history it's just a matter of time before she'll ruin things again. Won't be long before you are off the hook. No need to get serious with women until you hit 30.

 

[Skalioppe]

She could be doing typical b1tch mind games sh1t, based around missing your attention. So in these situations I play my own sh1t test - I flirt, get some sexual innuendo going - if that works I then get her to do some compliance test, a sexy pic, a sext, or get her round for a fvck (but make sure she knows this in advance), if she doesn't comply, say bye and go NC again. It's fool-proof and put their money where their mouth is, one way or another you'll get your answer if she means what she says. Why? Women will do anything for you if they are truly interested in you.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

So, you're the one that broke it off? If that's the case, getting back with her should be eaaaaaasy.

The real question, though, is: has she changed? Has she stopped doing the things she did before that made you dump her (i.e. stopped drinking so much, starting fights, etc.?) If she hasn't and you decide to take her back, you're basically saying you're okay with that behavior from her now.

You may want to inquire about these things before doing a full-on "back to being committed only to her" type of thing. Easiest way would be to either hook up with her or get close to hooking up with her, then acting like you're "struggling" because you don't want to go back to her if she's still doing those things. That way, it puts it on HER to change those things instead of you FORCING her to.

 

[Ultracorp]

Nice, solid advice guys. More than likely, her old habits are still there. I know she's tried to clean up her act every now and again but always reverts to being a bit wild....not going to put up with that, nor any mind games or other sh1t. I will give her a shot to demonstrate why shes worth my time.

I'll try talking to her in the next couple days if I don't hear anything. In the meantime I already have plans to go out with a HB8 on saturday so things are looking up.