ex behaves like a total bi***. Why?

[thomz_amadeus]

Hello Gentlemen,

I'd like to ask your opinion about something.

I've been in a quality LTR with this quality chick for a while (18 months)... A super-smart and emotionally stable hot babe (the pros), unfortunately pretty immature and not that interesting in the end - a "movies, reading, shopping, travellig" chick (the cons).

But still, I was a dedicated boyfriend and won't deny the fact that I was all in love. We had a great connection.

Well, things started to drift away (I started to get a bit bored with her and she started to totally lose interest for me)... Facing VERY serious adversity (obviously there was another guy in the picture somewhere), I decided to take a break - more to make her react, I confess - from where she decided to break up for good.

Fine actually. I've been really sad for a while of course but surprinsingly I've quickly nexted her - and as life is well-made I've also met another woman who actually turned out to be a quite awesome.

My ex and I have spent the last month totally ignoring each other. That was perfect.

Then I went abroad and since I came back she's the worst bjitch ya could ever imagine. A real caricature... Something seriously pathetic. She became a total witch, all of a sudden.

Thing is, it's mean but i can totally feel that it's FAKE. I've got no idea why she's playing this comedy, but it is a comedy, for sure.

Well, I'm curious. I could never imagine that someone who has loved you quite intensively in the past can acts in such a fashion.

I have no clue why she acts so mean toward me. That doesn't hurt me - I even find it quite hilarious - but it does leave me speechless.

What you gents think?

Oh, did I mention? We work in the same office and face each other every day I know, I know...

 

[sodbuster]

Love and hate are closer than people realize. She probably still loves you. since you have moved on and found her replacement,you are indifferent to her. Her replacement for you didn't work out so well. Also, you said she liked to TRAVEL...you just did. Could be a bit of jealousy

 

[sexysuave]

No, you did not mention that you work in the same office and face each other every day. That’s kind of a big deal.

How did you meet this girl? Is it at work? This is why I tell guys not to get involved with coworkers at your job (important jobs, your “career”). 97% of the time, it’s just not worth it. I know like 2 or 3 people that have “successfully” met their life long partner at work and worked things out good. The rest of the people that got involved at work just put them selves through great headaches and cost them selves reputation, promotion, and sometimes even the job.

You started getting bored or she started losing interest? Sound more like she was the one losing interest and you even bring up a mention of another guy in the picture. This is a HUGE no no, and as soon as you found out about any other guys you should have simply broken up with her, and not p*ssyfoot around the subject, and “take a break” type of BS.

I take it that she was actually getting bored with you, and not the other way around, otherwise she wouldn’t have “totally lost interest” and found some other dude.

Just curious, did you post about this same situation a while back sometime? I remember reading a thread about a similar situation.

And love and hate are emotions that are not too different. She is so mean to you because she doesn’t respect you anymore. And also, because she is obviously getting away with it. Sounds like you’re in a “career”, and it would probably be really difficult to find another job now. So I’m guessing that’s not an option.

However, you should not let her disrespect you. You didn’t go into examples, but you say that she’s being totally mean and a “real witch”, and if that’s the case, why is she getting away with it? I don’t care who she is or what she USED to mean to you, she should not be tormenting you and getting away with it. Ok, so you work together, are there not codes of conduct at your work? If she’s really being a “witch”, she must be doing something that is breaking some sort of work policy and law. Take care of it.

Talk to you manager about it if you have to and figure out if she’s disrupting the team by acting the way she is acting and if she is doing things that could be terms for disciplinary action (up to and including termination). Don’t feel bad and put up with it just because you spent 18 months with her. You are just letting your self become a chump by tolerating disrespectful behavior, even if you don’t think you are, subconsciously your brain is answering questions to your self on “why you are letting someone disrespect you”, and it WILL find answers. This could have an impact on your self-esteem.

Think of it this way, if it didn’t bother you, you probably wouldn’t be posting on the board asking about it. Kill this thing right away. Have a talk with her first and ask her to be respectful to you. This way, when you go to your manager or HR, you can tell them that you tried to resolve it.

Tell her that regardless of your guys’ past, you have to work together, and you don’t wish to be anything but a coworker and that you wish her the best. But tell her that you DO expect her to be respectful to you and that you expect nothing but respect at work from everyone, regardless of your past relations. If she can’t agree to that, take it further to your manager. (Once again, you said she’s being just mean and a real witch, so I’m assuming you’re not talking about some petty stuff, but more serious stuff)

 

[thomz_amadeus]

Yea, she was more bored than I am.

No i didn't post it before.

No i've never mentioned the other guy with her - but I know. Guts mate, guts... They never lie.

She remains civil in public, her hate is in our private interaction. Of course I won't let her - or anyone - disrespect me. And I'm one of the directors of the company, FYI.

Yes, NEVER ever I will make such a mistake again. But mate, I fall in love, and this happened to be at the office.

I don't need morale lessons, i know how to handle myself very well and women have never been much of a problem for me.

I am only curious about the reasons of her attitude. It seriously doesn't affect me, how you want me to be hit by such pathetic teenager behavior?

I just wonder what could he the reasons for all this comedy.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

The reason is because she despises you; breakups honestly suck big-time in a lot of ways -- there can be a lot of hurt feelings. She's being mean to you because this is her way of getting revenge, or simply just venting out her distaste for you. She's just pissed and views you as the enemy, because you are the "ex". I would say just keep your work game tight and try your very best just to ignore her...like a pest fly.

 

[grayclif]

She's probably just not used to getting dumped. Girls normally do the dumping especially with AFC's.

 

[HeMan]

my ex just recently fuked one of my best friends

becareful around her.