Ex back in contact - still in love with me/misses me

[DFG]

As the title says - broke up 18 months ago. I stopped talking to her after some pretty ****ty messages from her. She has tried everything in the book to get my attention - sweet messages reminiscing, lingerie pics, 'accidental' texts in the middle of the night asking if you're coming over meant for other people to unreserved apologies - even telling me off for blanking her.

I haven't responded to any of these because I feel she was trying to get a rise out of me. I've just got a message on facebook after about 10-11 months now of silence, nicely wishing my family and me a nice xmas and saying I seem to be doing well (from my FB - no longer friends though on there) - and then just dropped that she still loves me and misses me.

I feel like I should carry on ignoring her out of principle, but a small part of me wants to send a short, pleasant message back - I've been angry at her for the way she treated me but I don't want to 'punish' her - I know it is her responsibility to validate herself and not distort our relationship into a lie in her mind where I didn't care (because I truy did)...but simultaneously I don't want to perpetuate bad feeling from my end - it's over and I want her to find happiness elsewhere as the trust has long been broken by these games and past behaviour.

Any thoughts are appreciated regarding Ex contact experience/ whether responding or ignoring is crueler or kinder - I'm in my late twenties and she was the first serious relationship I've had so don't have a huge well of experience to draw upon. Together 3 years.

 

[mrRuckus]

I feel like I should carry on ignoring her out of principle, but a small part of me wants to send a short, pleasant message back - I've been angry at her for the way she treated me but I don't want to 'punish' her

Her entire strategy is banking on this weakness of men generally being good guys.

She's finding she can't do better than you, and you're the backup option she wants to leverage now. That should piss you off, mr. backup.

 

[vinkoch]

My experience has been those types aren't done until it's reversed. She wants you begging for a response, making a beta a$$ out of yourself

 

[GS750]

So now the situation is flipped and you hold the cards. She's trying to get your attention for some selfish reason. The question is; what do you want? Do you want to get back with her? Do you want to remain on a friendly level? Do you not give a sh*t if you ever speak to her or see her again? Do you want to bang her? If you have no interest in her at all, which it sort of sounds like, then ignore. Better yet, block her. You don't owe her anything. If you reply in a kindly manner it just invites more contact from her.

 

[DFG]

Thanks guys - for the record I broke up with her - we'd had a few months of her causing drama and fights which was then justified by saying she wouldn't be like that if we lived together...